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Title: Unspoken
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson
Rating: R for language
Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 14
Moving to Rodney’s bedside, Carson found him with his eyes closed tight and his lips pursed in pain. He reacted immediately, pulling the painkiller he’d stashed for later from his pocket. Injecting it into Rodney’s IV, he reprimanded him lightly, “Aw luv, why didn’t you call the nurse?”
“Didn’t want you to use that voodoo stinging shit on me,” hissed Rodney, real fear at the possibility gracing his features. Carson watched it and the pain fade as the medicine worked its way through his system. Rodney visibly relaxed as he muttered to Carson, “Can I leave?”
Patting his arm lightly, Carson smiled, “Not just yet. Rest now.”
Rodney shook off the sleepiness, “Please, Carson. I want to sleep in my own bed where no one will bother me.”
Carson sighed and carefully sat on the edge of the bed, “They won’t bother you anymore. I’ll stay right here until you’re ready to leave.”
Ignoring the reference, Rodney changed the subject, “You should sleep. You look like hell.” Even with the teasing, there was concern in his tone.
Scrubbing his hand through his unruly hair, Carson smiled, “Aye, if you weren’t gettin’ hurt all the time, I wouldn’t be worryin’ all the time.” It was a long week for Carson and the others, not knowing what was happening on Kinoban. When the team hadn’t checked in, they tried opening the gate but couldn’t establish a connection. It was as if the Kinoban gate no longer existed. Carson lowered his voice, it wavered with emotion, “I was terrified of losing you.”
Easing onto his side, Rodney looked up at him and reached out to cover one of Carson’s hands. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I knew you’d be worried but they wouldn’t let us send a message. Everything kind of went to shit in a hurry.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Rodney closed his eyes, but didn’t answer. Carson got the message. “You know you can talk to me.”
Rodney nodded and spoke in a whisper, “Not now, Carson. Please.”
Lightly squeezing Rodney’s hand, Carson smiled warmly, “Alright, luv. I know better than to force you.”
Trying to sit up, Rodney responded lightly, taking the conversation away from the serious matter at hand again, “Yes, well we all have our moments. I really need to pee.”
Crossing his arms, Carson frowned, “I’m not letting you out of bed.”
Rodney dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand, “Fine, fine. Just get whatever you need so I can pee.”
Grabbing the urinal, Carson handed it to Rodney, who fumbled with it, his pants and the blanket, not quite managing all three. He finally gave up and handed it back to Carson, “A little help here.”
Easing the blanket aside, Carson helped without comment and turned his head away to allow Rodney some privacy. Finishing, Rodney forgot about his injuries and fell back onto the bed, instantly regretting it. Gasping for air and trying to roll to his side, his hands clawed for purchase, adding to the pain.
Carson finally grabbed his arms and lifted him enough to sit. His breathing was harsh as Carson cupped the back of his neck, pulling him into his shoulder. Rodney took several deep breaths as the pain in his back began to ease while Carson’s fingers on his neck soothed him. He’d missed this… the closeness, Carson’s touch, his warmth. The security he felt in his arms. Wrapping his arms around Carson, he buried his head further into his shoulder, shuddering. He didn’t want to cry, not here, not now, but just having Carson this close was too much and tears gathered. A quiet sob was torn from him, “It hurts.” Another sob, “Why does it have to hurt so much, Carson?”
“Oh Rodney, let it go, luv. I’ve got you,” whispered Carson, holding him as tightly as he dared. It wasn’t just the pain in his back that was hurting his lover. He wanted to embrace him and not let go, but mindful of his injuries he let Rodney hold him. It was several moments before Rodney pulled away, allowing Carson to settle him back on the bed. He didn’t try to speak and closed his eyes as Carson lightly caressed his cheek. “Get some sleep. When you wake we’ll get you to your room.”
Rodney nodded weakly, drifting into sleep with Carson’s hand soothing him. He wasn’t surprised when he woke a couple hours later and Carson was still sitting beside him. He rolled on his side with some effort, the soreness in his muscles, and numerous aches and pains making him slow and cautious. “You didn’t have to actually SIT with me.”
“I said I would. Besides I like watching you sleep.”
“I’m sure you’ll get plenty of opportunities in the next few days. I feel like I could sleep a week. Which reminds me, you said I could leave when I woke,” said Rodney, stubbornly sitting up in anticipation of leaving.
“You’re lucky the Kinoban’s used their medicine, Rodney. Oh I know it was nasty stuff but it saved you a lot of misery early on and you wouldn’t be movin’ so easily without it.” Seeing him grimace, Carson pursed his lips, “I wish you’d reconsider and stay here.”
Rodney shook his head and said longingly “I just want to go home.”
Carson knew Rodney was uncomfortable under the public eye of the infirmary, especially after his ordeal. As much as Rodney bitched and moaned about injuries, the more serious they were the quieter he got. The fact that Rodney wanted to hole up in his room was a testament to the seriousness of the situation, not only from an injury standpoint but also introspectively. As open and verbal as Rodney was about some things, he was a very private man, rarely discussing those things that touched him deeply. It had taken Carson months to work his way into Rodney’s inner circle and there was little he didn’t know about the man. In the quiet of his room, Rodney would work through what bothered him, sometimes with Carson, sometimes without. When he sorted through his thoughts, worked through the catharsis, he’d reappear, his arrogance and cynicism firmly back in place.
Helping Rodney sit, Carson gently helped him to stand, “Do you want real clothes?”
Looking down at his bare chest and scrub pants, he realized it wasn’t the best attire to be traipsing through the corridors of Atlantis in. “Can I get a shirt?”
“Are you sure?” questioned Carson, worried the shirt would irritate his back.
“I’m not going out in public with no shirt,” snapped Rodney.
“I don’t know, it’s a good look for you,” teased Carson, sincere in his appreciation of Rodney’s physique.
Rodney sneered back at him, “A shirt, Carson. Just get me a shirt, so I can leave.” The effort of standing was already wearing him down. The week of abuse, lack of sleep and Carson’s drugs were taking their toll and he swayed a bit.
Carson gave in and gestured to the bed, “Sit down before you fall down and I’ll see what I can do.” He shook his head and asked hopefully, “I don’t suppose I could talk you into a wheelchair?”
“No.” Rodney’s response was firm and immediate leaving no doubt it would be impossible to change his mind. Under other circumstances or another patient, Carson might insist but he would be with Rodney so he was willing to bend the rules in this particular case. Rodney trusted Carson to take care of him and sat down, “Just the shirt, Carson. I promise to behave.”
Twenty minutes later they were on their way to Rodney’s quarters with Carson at his elbow, watching him nervously out of the corner of his eye. “I’m fine, Carson. It’s only a little farther. I promise not to collapse before we get there.”
“Don’t joke like that, I don’t relish picking you up off the floor because you’re too stubborn to see good sense.”
Rodney really was concentrating on staying on his feet and didn’t notice Zelenka and Kavanaugh until he heard their voices in the hall ahead of them. Kavanaugh spotted them and hurried over, speaking with his normal insensitivity, “McKay, I was on my way to see you.”
Sparing a glance at Radek, Rodney watched the man shrug, “I try to tell him you are not in mood for visitors. He is slow to understand.”
Stopping, Rodney noticed when Carson moved closer, there to offer physical and moral support if needed. “What is your problem now, Kavanaugh?”
Kavanaugh ranted as he shot a glare at Zelenka, “I want to know when you are coming back. He seems to think that in your absence he is in charge and that is clearly not the case. I’m sure you are aware of my expertise and…”
Rodney cut him off, his annoyance unhidden. “He is in charge when I’m away.”
“But that isn’t fair. Everyone knows…”
Radek interrupted him this time. “Everyone knows you whine like little girl. Go back to whatever you do all day, leave real work to big boys.”
Kavanaugh took a deep breath and huffed indignantly, “I don’t have to listen to this.”
“Good. Go away,” said Radek, waving him off and watching Rodney and Carson having difficulty maintaining a straight face at his verbal parlay with Kavanaugh.
Wanting to get off his feet and to his room, Rodney cut in, “Can we discuss this another time?” He stared at Kavanaugh, and said defiantly, “Doctor Zelenka is in charge when I’m away. If you have a problem with it, take it up with Doctor Weir. I’m sure she would love to listen to any complaints you have concerning her decisions.”
Stepping around Rodney to leave, Kavanaugh turned, putting a firm hand on Rodney’s back. “I never thought I’d say it, but I’ll be glad when you return.” Neither Carson nor Rodney saw the look malicious look in his eye when he clamped down on McKay’s shoulder, but Radek did.
Rodney arched away sharply, his knees buckling and only Carson’s support kept him from crashing to the floor. His breathing came in sharp gasps as he rocked on his knees, sweat beading on his face at the sudden onslaught of pain emanating from his back. Already, blood spots were forming on his shirt where a few of the worst cuts were reopened. Carson knelt beside him and Radek was staring open-mouthed at Kavanaugh as he sauntered down the hall.
Carefully lifting Rodney’s collar, Carson peaked at the damage, “Aw bloody hell, Rodney. Let’s get you to your room so I can look at that,” He was fighting every instinct to go after Kavanaugh and beat the man senseless. Rodney flinched away from his touch, muttering between ragged breaths, “Shit…piss…kill…that…bastard.”
Radek replied, “I will take care of devil spawn. Do not worry, Rodney. I will keep job safe for you until you return to torment us all.”
Rodney smiled, albeit weakly, still trembling as he wiped his brow. Carson was grateful for the Radek’s presence. His tongue was almost as sharp at Rodney’s, but even better was his gift for vengeance. Most knew by now not to incur the Czech scientist’s wrath. He had a wicked sense of humor and knew how to use it. Helping Carson, the two of them managed to get Rodney to his room and Radek bid them farewell, “I must go plan for reprisal.”
Not feeling too charitable towards Kavanaugh, Rodney hissed as he settled onto the bed. “Sign my name too, would you?”
“Yes, of course, in very big, angry letters. I will visit later, when you’re doing better. I will keep angry hoards away while you recover. The sooner you heal the sooner I can do work instead of babysit whiny scientists.” Radek pushed up his glasses and turned to leave. “Get well, Rodney.”
Waving him away, Rodney waited until the door closed before he released a big breath, hands grabbing the bed in a white knuckle grip. “Get this shirt off.”
Carson moved quickly, gently easing the shirt away from his back as he removed it. Helping Rodney onto his stomach, he cleaned the irritated area and was grateful to see that the bleeding was stopped. The damage was minimal but Carson was seething with anger at Kavanaugh’s callous behavior. “Do ya want somethin’ for the pain?”
Rodney shook his head, “I just want to sleep.” He hesitated only a second before asking, “Stay?”
“Aye, I’m not goin’ anywhere. I took a few days so I could look after you.” Carson added lightly, intercepting Rodney’s argument, “I can’t trust you to rest. Knowing you, you’d be back at work before I even made it back to the infirmary. I’ll be staying with you to make sure you don’t escape bed rest before you’re ready.” Slipping out of his shoes, Carson lay beside Rodney on the bed, close but mindful of his injuries.
Lifting enough to scoot closer, Rodney draped himself over Carson’s side and relaxed. Fingers stroked Rodney’s hair, “Go to sleep, luv.”
Mumbling into Carson’s chest, Rodney’s hand drifted up to caress his cheek then he pulled himself up to kiss him. The kiss was slow and tender, stopping when Rodney dropped his head onto Carson’s shoulder. “Thanks.”
One leg draped Carson’s and Rodney’s hips did a slow motion against his thigh. Carson admonished him, “As much as that is nice, you’re in no shape for it.”
“I missed you.” Rodney kept at it a bit longer until Carson was beginning to feel the effects.
Rodney’s fingers roamed Carson’s chest and he firmly took Rodney’s hand to stop his teasing, “I mean it Rodney. There’ll be none of that.”
Stilled for a moment, Rodney’s breathing eased off. Carson lifted his head curiously and smiled warmly. Rodney had fallen asleep.
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson
Rating: R for language
Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 14
Moving to Rodney’s bedside, Carson found him with his eyes closed tight and his lips pursed in pain. He reacted immediately, pulling the painkiller he’d stashed for later from his pocket. Injecting it into Rodney’s IV, he reprimanded him lightly, “Aw luv, why didn’t you call the nurse?”
“Didn’t want you to use that voodoo stinging shit on me,” hissed Rodney, real fear at the possibility gracing his features. Carson watched it and the pain fade as the medicine worked its way through his system. Rodney visibly relaxed as he muttered to Carson, “Can I leave?”
Patting his arm lightly, Carson smiled, “Not just yet. Rest now.”
Rodney shook off the sleepiness, “Please, Carson. I want to sleep in my own bed where no one will bother me.”
Carson sighed and carefully sat on the edge of the bed, “They won’t bother you anymore. I’ll stay right here until you’re ready to leave.”
Ignoring the reference, Rodney changed the subject, “You should sleep. You look like hell.” Even with the teasing, there was concern in his tone.
Scrubbing his hand through his unruly hair, Carson smiled, “Aye, if you weren’t gettin’ hurt all the time, I wouldn’t be worryin’ all the time.” It was a long week for Carson and the others, not knowing what was happening on Kinoban. When the team hadn’t checked in, they tried opening the gate but couldn’t establish a connection. It was as if the Kinoban gate no longer existed. Carson lowered his voice, it wavered with emotion, “I was terrified of losing you.”
Easing onto his side, Rodney looked up at him and reached out to cover one of Carson’s hands. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I knew you’d be worried but they wouldn’t let us send a message. Everything kind of went to shit in a hurry.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Rodney closed his eyes, but didn’t answer. Carson got the message. “You know you can talk to me.”
Rodney nodded and spoke in a whisper, “Not now, Carson. Please.”
Lightly squeezing Rodney’s hand, Carson smiled warmly, “Alright, luv. I know better than to force you.”
Trying to sit up, Rodney responded lightly, taking the conversation away from the serious matter at hand again, “Yes, well we all have our moments. I really need to pee.”
Crossing his arms, Carson frowned, “I’m not letting you out of bed.”
Rodney dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand, “Fine, fine. Just get whatever you need so I can pee.”
Grabbing the urinal, Carson handed it to Rodney, who fumbled with it, his pants and the blanket, not quite managing all three. He finally gave up and handed it back to Carson, “A little help here.”
Easing the blanket aside, Carson helped without comment and turned his head away to allow Rodney some privacy. Finishing, Rodney forgot about his injuries and fell back onto the bed, instantly regretting it. Gasping for air and trying to roll to his side, his hands clawed for purchase, adding to the pain.
Carson finally grabbed his arms and lifted him enough to sit. His breathing was harsh as Carson cupped the back of his neck, pulling him into his shoulder. Rodney took several deep breaths as the pain in his back began to ease while Carson’s fingers on his neck soothed him. He’d missed this… the closeness, Carson’s touch, his warmth. The security he felt in his arms. Wrapping his arms around Carson, he buried his head further into his shoulder, shuddering. He didn’t want to cry, not here, not now, but just having Carson this close was too much and tears gathered. A quiet sob was torn from him, “It hurts.” Another sob, “Why does it have to hurt so much, Carson?”
“Oh Rodney, let it go, luv. I’ve got you,” whispered Carson, holding him as tightly as he dared. It wasn’t just the pain in his back that was hurting his lover. He wanted to embrace him and not let go, but mindful of his injuries he let Rodney hold him. It was several moments before Rodney pulled away, allowing Carson to settle him back on the bed. He didn’t try to speak and closed his eyes as Carson lightly caressed his cheek. “Get some sleep. When you wake we’ll get you to your room.”
Rodney nodded weakly, drifting into sleep with Carson’s hand soothing him. He wasn’t surprised when he woke a couple hours later and Carson was still sitting beside him. He rolled on his side with some effort, the soreness in his muscles, and numerous aches and pains making him slow and cautious. “You didn’t have to actually SIT with me.”
“I said I would. Besides I like watching you sleep.”
“I’m sure you’ll get plenty of opportunities in the next few days. I feel like I could sleep a week. Which reminds me, you said I could leave when I woke,” said Rodney, stubbornly sitting up in anticipation of leaving.
“You’re lucky the Kinoban’s used their medicine, Rodney. Oh I know it was nasty stuff but it saved you a lot of misery early on and you wouldn’t be movin’ so easily without it.” Seeing him grimace, Carson pursed his lips, “I wish you’d reconsider and stay here.”
Rodney shook his head and said longingly “I just want to go home.”
Carson knew Rodney was uncomfortable under the public eye of the infirmary, especially after his ordeal. As much as Rodney bitched and moaned about injuries, the more serious they were the quieter he got. The fact that Rodney wanted to hole up in his room was a testament to the seriousness of the situation, not only from an injury standpoint but also introspectively. As open and verbal as Rodney was about some things, he was a very private man, rarely discussing those things that touched him deeply. It had taken Carson months to work his way into Rodney’s inner circle and there was little he didn’t know about the man. In the quiet of his room, Rodney would work through what bothered him, sometimes with Carson, sometimes without. When he sorted through his thoughts, worked through the catharsis, he’d reappear, his arrogance and cynicism firmly back in place.
Helping Rodney sit, Carson gently helped him to stand, “Do you want real clothes?”
Looking down at his bare chest and scrub pants, he realized it wasn’t the best attire to be traipsing through the corridors of Atlantis in. “Can I get a shirt?”
“Are you sure?” questioned Carson, worried the shirt would irritate his back.
“I’m not going out in public with no shirt,” snapped Rodney.
“I don’t know, it’s a good look for you,” teased Carson, sincere in his appreciation of Rodney’s physique.
Rodney sneered back at him, “A shirt, Carson. Just get me a shirt, so I can leave.” The effort of standing was already wearing him down. The week of abuse, lack of sleep and Carson’s drugs were taking their toll and he swayed a bit.
Carson gave in and gestured to the bed, “Sit down before you fall down and I’ll see what I can do.” He shook his head and asked hopefully, “I don’t suppose I could talk you into a wheelchair?”
“No.” Rodney’s response was firm and immediate leaving no doubt it would be impossible to change his mind. Under other circumstances or another patient, Carson might insist but he would be with Rodney so he was willing to bend the rules in this particular case. Rodney trusted Carson to take care of him and sat down, “Just the shirt, Carson. I promise to behave.”
Twenty minutes later they were on their way to Rodney’s quarters with Carson at his elbow, watching him nervously out of the corner of his eye. “I’m fine, Carson. It’s only a little farther. I promise not to collapse before we get there.”
“Don’t joke like that, I don’t relish picking you up off the floor because you’re too stubborn to see good sense.”
Rodney really was concentrating on staying on his feet and didn’t notice Zelenka and Kavanaugh until he heard their voices in the hall ahead of them. Kavanaugh spotted them and hurried over, speaking with his normal insensitivity, “McKay, I was on my way to see you.”
Sparing a glance at Radek, Rodney watched the man shrug, “I try to tell him you are not in mood for visitors. He is slow to understand.”
Stopping, Rodney noticed when Carson moved closer, there to offer physical and moral support if needed. “What is your problem now, Kavanaugh?”
Kavanaugh ranted as he shot a glare at Zelenka, “I want to know when you are coming back. He seems to think that in your absence he is in charge and that is clearly not the case. I’m sure you are aware of my expertise and…”
Rodney cut him off, his annoyance unhidden. “He is in charge when I’m away.”
“But that isn’t fair. Everyone knows…”
Radek interrupted him this time. “Everyone knows you whine like little girl. Go back to whatever you do all day, leave real work to big boys.”
Kavanaugh took a deep breath and huffed indignantly, “I don’t have to listen to this.”
“Good. Go away,” said Radek, waving him off and watching Rodney and Carson having difficulty maintaining a straight face at his verbal parlay with Kavanaugh.
Wanting to get off his feet and to his room, Rodney cut in, “Can we discuss this another time?” He stared at Kavanaugh, and said defiantly, “Doctor Zelenka is in charge when I’m away. If you have a problem with it, take it up with Doctor Weir. I’m sure she would love to listen to any complaints you have concerning her decisions.”
Stepping around Rodney to leave, Kavanaugh turned, putting a firm hand on Rodney’s back. “I never thought I’d say it, but I’ll be glad when you return.” Neither Carson nor Rodney saw the look malicious look in his eye when he clamped down on McKay’s shoulder, but Radek did.
Rodney arched away sharply, his knees buckling and only Carson’s support kept him from crashing to the floor. His breathing came in sharp gasps as he rocked on his knees, sweat beading on his face at the sudden onslaught of pain emanating from his back. Already, blood spots were forming on his shirt where a few of the worst cuts were reopened. Carson knelt beside him and Radek was staring open-mouthed at Kavanaugh as he sauntered down the hall.
Carefully lifting Rodney’s collar, Carson peaked at the damage, “Aw bloody hell, Rodney. Let’s get you to your room so I can look at that,” He was fighting every instinct to go after Kavanaugh and beat the man senseless. Rodney flinched away from his touch, muttering between ragged breaths, “Shit…piss…kill…that…bastard.”
Radek replied, “I will take care of devil spawn. Do not worry, Rodney. I will keep job safe for you until you return to torment us all.”
Rodney smiled, albeit weakly, still trembling as he wiped his brow. Carson was grateful for the Radek’s presence. His tongue was almost as sharp at Rodney’s, but even better was his gift for vengeance. Most knew by now not to incur the Czech scientist’s wrath. He had a wicked sense of humor and knew how to use it. Helping Carson, the two of them managed to get Rodney to his room and Radek bid them farewell, “I must go plan for reprisal.”
Not feeling too charitable towards Kavanaugh, Rodney hissed as he settled onto the bed. “Sign my name too, would you?”
“Yes, of course, in very big, angry letters. I will visit later, when you’re doing better. I will keep angry hoards away while you recover. The sooner you heal the sooner I can do work instead of babysit whiny scientists.” Radek pushed up his glasses and turned to leave. “Get well, Rodney.”
Waving him away, Rodney waited until the door closed before he released a big breath, hands grabbing the bed in a white knuckle grip. “Get this shirt off.”
Carson moved quickly, gently easing the shirt away from his back as he removed it. Helping Rodney onto his stomach, he cleaned the irritated area and was grateful to see that the bleeding was stopped. The damage was minimal but Carson was seething with anger at Kavanaugh’s callous behavior. “Do ya want somethin’ for the pain?”
Rodney shook his head, “I just want to sleep.” He hesitated only a second before asking, “Stay?”
“Aye, I’m not goin’ anywhere. I took a few days so I could look after you.” Carson added lightly, intercepting Rodney’s argument, “I can’t trust you to rest. Knowing you, you’d be back at work before I even made it back to the infirmary. I’ll be staying with you to make sure you don’t escape bed rest before you’re ready.” Slipping out of his shoes, Carson lay beside Rodney on the bed, close but mindful of his injuries.
Lifting enough to scoot closer, Rodney draped himself over Carson’s side and relaxed. Fingers stroked Rodney’s hair, “Go to sleep, luv.”
Mumbling into Carson’s chest, Rodney’s hand drifted up to caress his cheek then he pulled himself up to kiss him. The kiss was slow and tender, stopping when Rodney dropped his head onto Carson’s shoulder. “Thanks.”
One leg draped Carson’s and Rodney’s hips did a slow motion against his thigh. Carson admonished him, “As much as that is nice, you’re in no shape for it.”
“I missed you.” Rodney kept at it a bit longer until Carson was beginning to feel the effects.
Rodney’s fingers roamed Carson’s chest and he firmly took Rodney’s hand to stop his teasing, “I mean it Rodney. There’ll be none of that.”
Stilled for a moment, Rodney’s breathing eased off. Carson lifted his head curiously and smiled warmly. Rodney had fallen asleep.
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I love Radek. He's such a sweetie. He and Rodney might fight like two PMS-ing women, but they really do care for each other.
Wonderful, as always. Post soon. ;-D
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