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Title: Unspoken
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson Sheppard Friendship
Rating: R for language
Summary: After finding out about Rodney and Carson’s relationship, John’s friendship with Rodney is threatened.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 17
Both men glanced nervously over their shoulders, and Rodney’s anxious breathing could be heard as they stepped behind him first. The scientist knew he’d be first considering the natives lack of tolerance for any of his behavior to date. A quick glance at Sheppard and he saw his own terror reflecting in the Major’s eyes. Then he heard the unmistakable sound of arching electricity and panicked. Shaking with a new fear, he snapped his head around to see what his captors were doing and his eyes widened in horror as his worst nightmares were visualized. He tried to twist away, but there was no place to go. Turning away from Sheppard, he steeled himself for what was coming but he couldn’t keep from screaming when the electrical current coursed through him. His muscles quivered and his body spasmed uncontrollably as they touched him with something similar to a cattle prod.
Sheppard yelled every obscenity he knew, begging them to stop. When finally they turned it off, Rodney sucked for air in great heaving gasps, his eyes clenched tight as he tried to regain some control over his body. His knees weak, he leaned heavily into the wall, the coolness feeling good on his face.
“Rodney you okay?” Sheppard’s voice was shaky and filled with anguish as he took in McKay’s trembling.
Rodney couldn’t answer nor was he given a chance before another shock assaulted his system. His body convulsed again and he unconsciously bit down on his lip, drawing blood. He was rapidly losing control and he was helpless to stop it, the shocks starting and stopping regularly. He could vaguely hear the Major pleading his cause as his tormentors continued, but that ended with a few muted blows and a groan. His breathing was ragged and his heart beat erratically as they continued the abuse. When they finally stopped, he hung loosely in the shackles, unable to stand.
Only when he heard the shuffling behind him, did he dare turn his head. As they positioned themselves behind the Major, he found his voice. It was hoarse from screaming and was ineffective as he watched Sheppard go through the same torture. He begged for mercy until his voice was nearly gone. It was pointless but still he tried, ignoring the additional blows to his body as they tried to quiet him. Only when his face slammed into the wall from a fierce blow to the back of his head was he silent.
***************
Ford was pacing the small confines nervously, stopping to glance out the door at every pass. It was still dark, but he could make out the guards in the waning moonlight. For the hundredth time since the Major Sheppard and Doctor McKay had been taken, he slammed into the door. Like all his previous attempts, it didn’t give.
Teyla spoke, “You are wasting your strength, Lieutenant. Should we not be saving or energy for when we can do something?”
Opening one eye, from where he sat on the floor, Stackhouse agreed “Teyla’s right. There’s nothing we can do but wait.”
“I don’t like waiting. There has to be something we can do. Who knows what is happening to them.”
“Perhaps they will be returned to us,” suggested Teyla. “They did not say anything about killing them, only punishing.”
Silence settled over the prisoners, each contemplating their friends’ fate. As the sky began to lighten, their guards suddenly took off, leaving them confined but unguarded.
***************
Sheppard woke with a grunt of pain, stilling as his stomach turned and his body shivered with increasing intensity. His muscles tensed as he rode the wave of uncontrollable tremors until they eased off, leaving him sweating and sucking air. He lay back and took note of his injuries. Besides the slight shaking he was left with, his ribs throbbed and his back was killing him. Shifting on the floor, he startled when his legs wouldn’t cooperate. Ignoring his other injuries, he sat up with some effort and stared down at his legs, willing them to move. Nothing.
He forced down the rising panic, lowering his hand to his legs in hopes that he might feel them then. Still nothing. His heart raced and his breathing increased at the implications, but all was forgotten when he spotted Rodney lying still several feet away, unmoving. McKay had taken the brunt of the punishment, their captors tiring by the time it was his turn. That and they’d made it clear that because the scientists had entered the inner temple area, McKay, as their leader, was culpable for their indiscretion. Guilt by association. Because of it, Rodney was treated with contempt by their captors.
Wrapping a firm arm around his ribs, he dragged himself across the floor, grimacing at the daggers of pain that flared in his back. He drew a ragged breath at the blood that pooled under McKay’s head. Very carefully, he checked for other injuries. Finding a large knot on the back of his head, John rolled him over carefully. “Shit.” Rodney’s face was covered with blood and still bleeding from a large gash in his forehead. With some effort, he removed his own jacket and then his shirt. Tearing it into strips, he waded some of it up and held it to the bleeding. Rodney stirred but didn’t waken. “Come on, Rodney. It’s time to wake up.”
Again there was some movement, and Sheppard continued to wrap his head, encouraging the scientist to wake, “That’s it, open your eyes.”
His eyelids fluttered open, closed tightly and he began gagging. Reacting immediately, Sheppard rolled him back to his side, holding his shoulder firmly as Rodney lost the contents of his stomach. Finishing, he curled up against the tremors that rocked through him, moaning weakly as they leveled off. His breathing was harsh and he was sweating heavily, swallowing loudly in the tiny room. John leaned over his friend, asking with growing concern, “How you doing?”
He struggled to sit up, the worst seemingly over. Groaning loudly, he dropped his head in his hands, “Oh god, that hurts.” McKay’s hand went to his forehead, feeling the makeshift bandage. His voice was alarmed but quiet as he asked, “I’m bleeding?”
Brushing his hand away, Major Sheppard tried to reassure him, “I stopped the bleeding so don’t mess with it.” The scientist did as he was told, leaving the wound alone. Eyes fluttering shut, Rodney started to tilt sideways. John grabbed for him, pulling him back up. “No sleeping.”
Rodney wearily opened his eyes, looking around the room. “Why is it so dark in here?”
“Um.” John stared at him, his brow furrowed. Raising a shaky hand, he waved it in front of McKay’s face. His heart skipped a beat when the scientist stared ahead blankly, never even blinking. Jerking his hand away, he stared at Rodney, speechless.
“What? What aren’t you telling me?” Rodney stuttered. When the major didn’t answer, Rodney lifted his own hand and held it close to his face. His face showed his panic even as he croaked in a half strangled whisper, “Oh god, I’m blind.”
“Look McKay, don’t panic okay. It’s probably just the head wound. I’m sure it’ll go away.”
“I’m blind, Major. As in I can’t fucking see and you’re telling me not to panic!” His own rising voice sent stabbing pain to his head and he halted in his tirade to breath through it.
“You okay?”
Rodney breathing leveled off, and he let himself slump back to the floor, “This is just great. I’m blind, stuck god knows where and you…” He looked up out of habit, his face suddenly worried, “Are you hurt?”
Sheppard tried to keep his voice calm, “I can’t feel my legs.”
Jerking back to a sitting position wasn’t the smartest thing to do and Rodney swallowed back the rising bile as he took a couple of breaths and tried to keep from falling on his face or throwing up in his own lap, whichever came first. “Are you crazy? Why are you sitting up like it’s nothing? They don’t teach basic first aid in the military or are you just too stupid to process it? Clue here, Major. If you can’t feel your legs then that could indicate back damage. Christ, lay down at least.”
“Geez, Rodney chill out. Someone will think you actually care.”
-
“Of course, I care, you’re my….” Rodney stopped in mid-sentence, realized what he was about to say and faltered.
“I knew it!” said John, smugly.
Rodney sneered at him, wincing as he raised his voice over his pounding headache, “Fuck you. It doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten.”
John watched the emotions play over McKay’s face, thankful the man couldn’t see his own face as he struggled to lie down again. He grabbed for his back and slowly lowered himself to the ground, biting back a moan as he forced himself to relax. Prone again, he wrapped an arm around his ribs and tried to breath as normal as possible.
They lay together on the floor for several minutes before he broke the uncomfortable silence. “I didn’t mean it, Rodney. I was looking for excuses and the Kinoban’s found them. It wasn’t what I thought, not really. I know you’re not a soldier. I never expected you to be one. You’re a scientist and it’s my job to protect you. That’s why I’m here. Although, I’m not doing such a great job at the moment. ”
“Do you think now is really a good time to discuss this?”
Staring up at the ceiling, John drawled, “What you have a date or something? It’s not like we’re going anywhere and if these are our final moments I’d just as soon clear the air before I meet my maker.”
“How pleasant. I feel so much better now.” Rodney paused, “You’re not gonna let this go are you?”
“Nope.”
“Why did you need excuses?”
“Huh?”
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head? Maybe you’re brain damaged… or worse. Oh, God, I really am dead and I’m in hell, forced to live out eternity with you tormenting me.” Rodney was surprised by how easily they’d slipped back into their normal bantering and even more by how much he’d missed it.
John smiled against his will at McKay’s paranoia, “I was only saying that I was making excuses not to have you on the team and they weren’t very good ones. Happy.”
“No. I went through five days of hell thinking I was doing it for a reason only to have Captain Kirk show up and make it completely meaningless. You thought I was a liability and the evil war lord thought it would be nice if we were all one big happy family. It kind of sucked finding out that I’m such a fuck up in your eyes.”
“Oh Christ, McKay you’re not a fuck up. I was the one that was the fuck up, not you. I’m sorry the sick bastard made you go through that so I could see that, but it did make me see the truth.”
“Well as long as you had a personal breakthrough I guess that makes it all hunky dory.”
“God, you’re such an asshole. I’m trying to explain here.”
“Newsflash, Major, I am an asshole. And you are only doing this so you can save your soul and not rot in hell.”
“Well there is that, but that’s not the whole reason. I’m not perfect, you know. I make mistakes.”
Rodney wasn’t sure what to think. He hated being so stubborn when the major was trying to explain why things had gone badly between them, but he didn’t know what he wanted. There was a part of him that might never be so trusting again, but another part realized how much he’d missed John’s friendship. Quiet followed before he finally spoke again, “Why did you want me off the team?”
“I told you, I had a friend. I caught him screwing around on duty and I let it go because he was my friend. Then it happened again, and soldiers were killed because he was supposed to be on patrol instead of making out with his buddy. I found out his unit was in trouble, so I flew in and rescued them, only I was too late to save him. He got himself and others killed because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. When it was all over I found myself at McMurdo for disobeying orders and guilty by association. Everybody thought because my friend was gay so was I. The military doesn’t look too kindly on that sort of thing and I ended up in the hospital after having the crap beat out of me. I was afraid of having it start all over again.”
Turning to face him, Rodney’s eyes were wide with disbelief. Frightening when John knew he couldn’t really see him. “What? In case you hadn’t noticed, these are alien cultures we are dealing with. Do you honestly believe they were going to send people across the galaxy that have personal hang ups about different values? Oh sure they’re basically the same here.” He paused for a moment, thinking. “Okay the ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ might be questionable. My point is, if they can accept the existence of a blood sucking aliens they can accept homosexuality. The people sent to Atlantis weren’t just drawn out of a hat.” He waved his hand in the air, “Well, maybe Kavanaugh. They were all carefully screened for tolerance to extreme situations. I don’t think my being gay is something they lose sleep over. Besides, I doubt very much if your reputation will be tarnished by associating with me. Everyone knows you are the biggest whore in the Pegasus Galaxy.”
John lifted his head and stared at him slack jawed, “Whore? Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?”
Rodney lifted one finger, “One, the nymph on MX6-421.” He lifted a second finger, “The peasant on MX2-989.” Another finger. “The alien bride on…”
Sheppard snapped back indignantly, “Hey, that wasn’t my fault” Rodney rolled his eyes. John huffed and sank back to the floor, “Fine. You made your point.”
“Thank you.”
There was more silence, this time John was the first to speak. “I’m sorry. I let my past get in the way of our friendship.”
Rodney’s response was very quiet, “You still thought I was a liability. You didn’t say it, but that’s what you thought. You thought I’d screw up like your friend and get someone killed. You didn’t trust me.”
“It wasn’t about trust.”
“What then?”
“I didn’t…” John hesitated, “I didn’t want to lose another friend.”
“So you push me away, treat me like shit so when I am killed it doesn’t hurt so much?”
“Something like that.”
Sitting up, regretting it momentarily as his stomach rebelled, he glared down at where he thought Sheppard was, “That is the most asinine thing you have ever said.” His head was pounding in time with his heartbeat and his face paled. “I’m gonna be sick.”
Turning away from the Major he threw up, grabbing his head as the effort intensified his headache which made his stomach even angrier. As he continued to dry heave, he felt a hand on his shoulder and was oddly comforted by it. As the sickness subsided he rolled away from the mess, “That was fun.”
“You gonna live?” Sheppard asked, his hand finding Rodney’s shoulder as he slumped in the dirt. McKay nodded weakly. John questioned him, “How bad?”
Rodney snorted softly, pain etching his features, “A herd of elephants dancing on my brain is probably an understatement.” He patted the major’s hand, “Uh…thanks. I think I need to sleep.”
“You’ve got a concussion, Rodney. Sleeping probably isn’t such a great idea.”
“Fine, I’ll just lay here and check my eyelids for holes. Feel free to ramble on without me.”
John gingerly stretched out beside him, glancing over occasionally to make sure he was still awake. He grinned and turned to Rodney, “I could use that beer about now.”
“A beer would be good.”
“You probably shouldn’t drink beer with a head injury.”
“Oh that is just hilarious. Mock the injured.”
They both lay in dirt, staring at the ceiling, each lost in their own thoughts. “We okay now?” asked Sheppard, not sure but hopeful that they’d settled things.
Rubbing his eyes, Rodney sighed tiredly, too many things were still unsettled in his mind. “Can we do this another time? I’m kind of at a disadvantage here. I’d like to remember revealing my inner demons at some point down the road and given our present circumstances and my head injury I’m not sure that’s possible.”
“Good point. You got any ideas for getting out of here?”
“What part of not thinking too clearly didn’t you get?”
“Well the guards took off about twenty minutes ago and there’s a panel by the door. Think you can work with that?”
Rodney raised his hand off the floor. “Hello. Blind here.”
“If we get out of here, I’ll throw you your very own pity party, but right now we need to figure out a way out or it won’t matter that you can’t see.” He slapped Rodney’s shoulder. “Get up. You can tell me what to do,” said Sheppard, dragging himself towards the door.
It wasn’t like Rodney was the only one with injuries. The Major was ignoring the fact that his legs were useless so Rodney sighed in resignation. Lifting up slowly, he swayed, dizziness, nausea and pain making him unsteady on his feet. “This isn’t going to work, Major. Even if we get the door open, we’re still stuck here. I can’t see and you can’t walk.” His hands reached out blindly as he staggered towards the Major’s voice. Finding the wall, and then the door, he sank to his knees, taking in deep slow breaths. Hands trembling, he dropped his head. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“Sure you can. Just help me up and we can get the panel off, then you can do your McKay magic.”
“Science is a hardly magic, Major. Although… magic is usually just applied science designed to fool gullible adults and small children.” He paused as felt Sheppard’s arm drape his shoulder. Grabbing his hand, he used it to leverage the Major to his feet then grabbed his belt in a tight grip, holding him upright. He grunted with the effort, “Of course it makes sense that you still have a fondness for it.” He stayed still, holding the Sheppard firmly, listening for the fast, shallow breaths to ease off, “Major?”
Sheppard nodded, forgetting that McKay couldn’t see him. “I’m good.” Rodney flashed him a knowing look that even blind told him he didn’t believe him. It didn’t help that he was gritting his teeth as he spoke. Even with his feet barely touching the ground it was enough to send shooting pain through his lower back and his ribs made breathing a conscious effort. “Just don’t drop me.”
Rodney had his eyes closed, leaning into the wall while Sheppard fiddled with the panel. He tried to hold him steady, but his hands and legs were starting to tremble and it was getting harder to keep his grasp as his muscles twitched uncontrollably. He was interrupted from his thoughts when John startled, jerking in his grasp. “Ease up! I think you gave me a wedgie.”
“Sorry,” Rodney said, willing his hand to relax its grip. Sweat dripped into his unseeing eyes, and he blinked away the sting. His head was pounding in time with his heartbeat and getting louder with each passing minute. The major was heavy and he had to concentrate to keep them both from crumbling to the floor. About to admit he needed to sit, the Major came through and he heard the metal panel clank to the floor. He didn’t wait for any argument and lowered both of them back to the floor. “I need to sit.”
“Sitting is good.” Wincing as he settled in the dirt, Sheppard glanced at McKay who was decidedly pale.
Nodding, Rodney closed his eyes, swallowing hard as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. His hand shook and he hid it in his lap. “What did you see?”
Watching McKay closely, he was aware of the tremors in his hands but let him be. “Wires.”
“What an astute observation, nothing gets by you,” Rodney retorted, letting his chin rest on his chest. He wanted to sleep, but was nudged from the beginning of a doze.
“Wake up.”
Rodney jerked awake and said groggily, “Can’t we just once sit and wait for a rescue.”
“You think they’ll find us. I’m betting we’re in some underground facility.”
“What makes you think we can find our way out of here, assuming of course we make it past the guards? Oh, and lets not forget that I can’t see and you can’t walk. Short of carrying your ass, we’re going no where.”
When Sheppard didn’t respond, Rodney looked at him sharply, disbelief unmasked on his face. “You actually want me to carry you out of here, don’t you?”
“This would be a good time to point out that you’ve buffed up, right? And you are always saying I have a skinny ass so now’s the perfect chance to put all that work to use.”
“I suppose you’re going to see for me, is that it?” smirked Rodney, barely containing himself.
“Don’t go there, McKay?” growled Sheppard, knowing his friend too well. Giving him a sideways glance he saw the smirk on McKay’s face growing. “Oh hell, just get it over with then.”
Rodney actually burst out laughing, gasping his words, “Sheppard…my own…seeing…eye…dog.” The laughter finally stopped, but only because it was obviously painful for the scientist to prolong the teasing.
Sheppard sneered at him, allowing himself a small smile, “Feel better?”
“Not really,” sighed McKay, wiping tears away. John was sure if they were from laughing or not. The scientist’s features were pinched tight as he dropped his head. “Still, it was too good to pass up.”
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson Sheppard Friendship
Rating: R for language
Summary: After finding out about Rodney and Carson’s relationship, John’s friendship with Rodney is threatened.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 17
Both men glanced nervously over their shoulders, and Rodney’s anxious breathing could be heard as they stepped behind him first. The scientist knew he’d be first considering the natives lack of tolerance for any of his behavior to date. A quick glance at Sheppard and he saw his own terror reflecting in the Major’s eyes. Then he heard the unmistakable sound of arching electricity and panicked. Shaking with a new fear, he snapped his head around to see what his captors were doing and his eyes widened in horror as his worst nightmares were visualized. He tried to twist away, but there was no place to go. Turning away from Sheppard, he steeled himself for what was coming but he couldn’t keep from screaming when the electrical current coursed through him. His muscles quivered and his body spasmed uncontrollably as they touched him with something similar to a cattle prod.
Sheppard yelled every obscenity he knew, begging them to stop. When finally they turned it off, Rodney sucked for air in great heaving gasps, his eyes clenched tight as he tried to regain some control over his body. His knees weak, he leaned heavily into the wall, the coolness feeling good on his face.
“Rodney you okay?” Sheppard’s voice was shaky and filled with anguish as he took in McKay’s trembling.
Rodney couldn’t answer nor was he given a chance before another shock assaulted his system. His body convulsed again and he unconsciously bit down on his lip, drawing blood. He was rapidly losing control and he was helpless to stop it, the shocks starting and stopping regularly. He could vaguely hear the Major pleading his cause as his tormentors continued, but that ended with a few muted blows and a groan. His breathing was ragged and his heart beat erratically as they continued the abuse. When they finally stopped, he hung loosely in the shackles, unable to stand.
Only when he heard the shuffling behind him, did he dare turn his head. As they positioned themselves behind the Major, he found his voice. It was hoarse from screaming and was ineffective as he watched Sheppard go through the same torture. He begged for mercy until his voice was nearly gone. It was pointless but still he tried, ignoring the additional blows to his body as they tried to quiet him. Only when his face slammed into the wall from a fierce blow to the back of his head was he silent.
***************
Ford was pacing the small confines nervously, stopping to glance out the door at every pass. It was still dark, but he could make out the guards in the waning moonlight. For the hundredth time since the Major Sheppard and Doctor McKay had been taken, he slammed into the door. Like all his previous attempts, it didn’t give.
Teyla spoke, “You are wasting your strength, Lieutenant. Should we not be saving or energy for when we can do something?”
Opening one eye, from where he sat on the floor, Stackhouse agreed “Teyla’s right. There’s nothing we can do but wait.”
“I don’t like waiting. There has to be something we can do. Who knows what is happening to them.”
“Perhaps they will be returned to us,” suggested Teyla. “They did not say anything about killing them, only punishing.”
Silence settled over the prisoners, each contemplating their friends’ fate. As the sky began to lighten, their guards suddenly took off, leaving them confined but unguarded.
***************
Sheppard woke with a grunt of pain, stilling as his stomach turned and his body shivered with increasing intensity. His muscles tensed as he rode the wave of uncontrollable tremors until they eased off, leaving him sweating and sucking air. He lay back and took note of his injuries. Besides the slight shaking he was left with, his ribs throbbed and his back was killing him. Shifting on the floor, he startled when his legs wouldn’t cooperate. Ignoring his other injuries, he sat up with some effort and stared down at his legs, willing them to move. Nothing.
He forced down the rising panic, lowering his hand to his legs in hopes that he might feel them then. Still nothing. His heart raced and his breathing increased at the implications, but all was forgotten when he spotted Rodney lying still several feet away, unmoving. McKay had taken the brunt of the punishment, their captors tiring by the time it was his turn. That and they’d made it clear that because the scientists had entered the inner temple area, McKay, as their leader, was culpable for their indiscretion. Guilt by association. Because of it, Rodney was treated with contempt by their captors.
Wrapping a firm arm around his ribs, he dragged himself across the floor, grimacing at the daggers of pain that flared in his back. He drew a ragged breath at the blood that pooled under McKay’s head. Very carefully, he checked for other injuries. Finding a large knot on the back of his head, John rolled him over carefully. “Shit.” Rodney’s face was covered with blood and still bleeding from a large gash in his forehead. With some effort, he removed his own jacket and then his shirt. Tearing it into strips, he waded some of it up and held it to the bleeding. Rodney stirred but didn’t waken. “Come on, Rodney. It’s time to wake up.”
Again there was some movement, and Sheppard continued to wrap his head, encouraging the scientist to wake, “That’s it, open your eyes.”
His eyelids fluttered open, closed tightly and he began gagging. Reacting immediately, Sheppard rolled him back to his side, holding his shoulder firmly as Rodney lost the contents of his stomach. Finishing, he curled up against the tremors that rocked through him, moaning weakly as they leveled off. His breathing was harsh and he was sweating heavily, swallowing loudly in the tiny room. John leaned over his friend, asking with growing concern, “How you doing?”
He struggled to sit up, the worst seemingly over. Groaning loudly, he dropped his head in his hands, “Oh god, that hurts.” McKay’s hand went to his forehead, feeling the makeshift bandage. His voice was alarmed but quiet as he asked, “I’m bleeding?”
Brushing his hand away, Major Sheppard tried to reassure him, “I stopped the bleeding so don’t mess with it.” The scientist did as he was told, leaving the wound alone. Eyes fluttering shut, Rodney started to tilt sideways. John grabbed for him, pulling him back up. “No sleeping.”
Rodney wearily opened his eyes, looking around the room. “Why is it so dark in here?”
“Um.” John stared at him, his brow furrowed. Raising a shaky hand, he waved it in front of McKay’s face. His heart skipped a beat when the scientist stared ahead blankly, never even blinking. Jerking his hand away, he stared at Rodney, speechless.
“What? What aren’t you telling me?” Rodney stuttered. When the major didn’t answer, Rodney lifted his own hand and held it close to his face. His face showed his panic even as he croaked in a half strangled whisper, “Oh god, I’m blind.”
“Look McKay, don’t panic okay. It’s probably just the head wound. I’m sure it’ll go away.”
“I’m blind, Major. As in I can’t fucking see and you’re telling me not to panic!” His own rising voice sent stabbing pain to his head and he halted in his tirade to breath through it.
“You okay?”
Rodney breathing leveled off, and he let himself slump back to the floor, “This is just great. I’m blind, stuck god knows where and you…” He looked up out of habit, his face suddenly worried, “Are you hurt?”
Sheppard tried to keep his voice calm, “I can’t feel my legs.”
Jerking back to a sitting position wasn’t the smartest thing to do and Rodney swallowed back the rising bile as he took a couple of breaths and tried to keep from falling on his face or throwing up in his own lap, whichever came first. “Are you crazy? Why are you sitting up like it’s nothing? They don’t teach basic first aid in the military or are you just too stupid to process it? Clue here, Major. If you can’t feel your legs then that could indicate back damage. Christ, lay down at least.”
“Geez, Rodney chill out. Someone will think you actually care.”
-
“Of course, I care, you’re my….” Rodney stopped in mid-sentence, realized what he was about to say and faltered.
“I knew it!” said John, smugly.
Rodney sneered at him, wincing as he raised his voice over his pounding headache, “Fuck you. It doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten.”
John watched the emotions play over McKay’s face, thankful the man couldn’t see his own face as he struggled to lie down again. He grabbed for his back and slowly lowered himself to the ground, biting back a moan as he forced himself to relax. Prone again, he wrapped an arm around his ribs and tried to breath as normal as possible.
They lay together on the floor for several minutes before he broke the uncomfortable silence. “I didn’t mean it, Rodney. I was looking for excuses and the Kinoban’s found them. It wasn’t what I thought, not really. I know you’re not a soldier. I never expected you to be one. You’re a scientist and it’s my job to protect you. That’s why I’m here. Although, I’m not doing such a great job at the moment. ”
“Do you think now is really a good time to discuss this?”
Staring up at the ceiling, John drawled, “What you have a date or something? It’s not like we’re going anywhere and if these are our final moments I’d just as soon clear the air before I meet my maker.”
“How pleasant. I feel so much better now.” Rodney paused, “You’re not gonna let this go are you?”
“Nope.”
“Why did you need excuses?”
“Huh?”
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head? Maybe you’re brain damaged… or worse. Oh, God, I really am dead and I’m in hell, forced to live out eternity with you tormenting me.” Rodney was surprised by how easily they’d slipped back into their normal bantering and even more by how much he’d missed it.
John smiled against his will at McKay’s paranoia, “I was only saying that I was making excuses not to have you on the team and they weren’t very good ones. Happy.”
“No. I went through five days of hell thinking I was doing it for a reason only to have Captain Kirk show up and make it completely meaningless. You thought I was a liability and the evil war lord thought it would be nice if we were all one big happy family. It kind of sucked finding out that I’m such a fuck up in your eyes.”
“Oh Christ, McKay you’re not a fuck up. I was the one that was the fuck up, not you. I’m sorry the sick bastard made you go through that so I could see that, but it did make me see the truth.”
“Well as long as you had a personal breakthrough I guess that makes it all hunky dory.”
“God, you’re such an asshole. I’m trying to explain here.”
“Newsflash, Major, I am an asshole. And you are only doing this so you can save your soul and not rot in hell.”
“Well there is that, but that’s not the whole reason. I’m not perfect, you know. I make mistakes.”
Rodney wasn’t sure what to think. He hated being so stubborn when the major was trying to explain why things had gone badly between them, but he didn’t know what he wanted. There was a part of him that might never be so trusting again, but another part realized how much he’d missed John’s friendship. Quiet followed before he finally spoke again, “Why did you want me off the team?”
“I told you, I had a friend. I caught him screwing around on duty and I let it go because he was my friend. Then it happened again, and soldiers were killed because he was supposed to be on patrol instead of making out with his buddy. I found out his unit was in trouble, so I flew in and rescued them, only I was too late to save him. He got himself and others killed because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. When it was all over I found myself at McMurdo for disobeying orders and guilty by association. Everybody thought because my friend was gay so was I. The military doesn’t look too kindly on that sort of thing and I ended up in the hospital after having the crap beat out of me. I was afraid of having it start all over again.”
Turning to face him, Rodney’s eyes were wide with disbelief. Frightening when John knew he couldn’t really see him. “What? In case you hadn’t noticed, these are alien cultures we are dealing with. Do you honestly believe they were going to send people across the galaxy that have personal hang ups about different values? Oh sure they’re basically the same here.” He paused for a moment, thinking. “Okay the ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ might be questionable. My point is, if they can accept the existence of a blood sucking aliens they can accept homosexuality. The people sent to Atlantis weren’t just drawn out of a hat.” He waved his hand in the air, “Well, maybe Kavanaugh. They were all carefully screened for tolerance to extreme situations. I don’t think my being gay is something they lose sleep over. Besides, I doubt very much if your reputation will be tarnished by associating with me. Everyone knows you are the biggest whore in the Pegasus Galaxy.”
John lifted his head and stared at him slack jawed, “Whore? Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?”
Rodney lifted one finger, “One, the nymph on MX6-421.” He lifted a second finger, “The peasant on MX2-989.” Another finger. “The alien bride on…”
Sheppard snapped back indignantly, “Hey, that wasn’t my fault” Rodney rolled his eyes. John huffed and sank back to the floor, “Fine. You made your point.”
“Thank you.”
There was more silence, this time John was the first to speak. “I’m sorry. I let my past get in the way of our friendship.”
Rodney’s response was very quiet, “You still thought I was a liability. You didn’t say it, but that’s what you thought. You thought I’d screw up like your friend and get someone killed. You didn’t trust me.”
“It wasn’t about trust.”
“What then?”
“I didn’t…” John hesitated, “I didn’t want to lose another friend.”
“So you push me away, treat me like shit so when I am killed it doesn’t hurt so much?”
“Something like that.”
Sitting up, regretting it momentarily as his stomach rebelled, he glared down at where he thought Sheppard was, “That is the most asinine thing you have ever said.” His head was pounding in time with his heartbeat and his face paled. “I’m gonna be sick.”
Turning away from the Major he threw up, grabbing his head as the effort intensified his headache which made his stomach even angrier. As he continued to dry heave, he felt a hand on his shoulder and was oddly comforted by it. As the sickness subsided he rolled away from the mess, “That was fun.”
“You gonna live?” Sheppard asked, his hand finding Rodney’s shoulder as he slumped in the dirt. McKay nodded weakly. John questioned him, “How bad?”
Rodney snorted softly, pain etching his features, “A herd of elephants dancing on my brain is probably an understatement.” He patted the major’s hand, “Uh…thanks. I think I need to sleep.”
“You’ve got a concussion, Rodney. Sleeping probably isn’t such a great idea.”
“Fine, I’ll just lay here and check my eyelids for holes. Feel free to ramble on without me.”
John gingerly stretched out beside him, glancing over occasionally to make sure he was still awake. He grinned and turned to Rodney, “I could use that beer about now.”
“A beer would be good.”
“You probably shouldn’t drink beer with a head injury.”
“Oh that is just hilarious. Mock the injured.”
They both lay in dirt, staring at the ceiling, each lost in their own thoughts. “We okay now?” asked Sheppard, not sure but hopeful that they’d settled things.
Rubbing his eyes, Rodney sighed tiredly, too many things were still unsettled in his mind. “Can we do this another time? I’m kind of at a disadvantage here. I’d like to remember revealing my inner demons at some point down the road and given our present circumstances and my head injury I’m not sure that’s possible.”
“Good point. You got any ideas for getting out of here?”
“What part of not thinking too clearly didn’t you get?”
“Well the guards took off about twenty minutes ago and there’s a panel by the door. Think you can work with that?”
Rodney raised his hand off the floor. “Hello. Blind here.”
“If we get out of here, I’ll throw you your very own pity party, but right now we need to figure out a way out or it won’t matter that you can’t see.” He slapped Rodney’s shoulder. “Get up. You can tell me what to do,” said Sheppard, dragging himself towards the door.
It wasn’t like Rodney was the only one with injuries. The Major was ignoring the fact that his legs were useless so Rodney sighed in resignation. Lifting up slowly, he swayed, dizziness, nausea and pain making him unsteady on his feet. “This isn’t going to work, Major. Even if we get the door open, we’re still stuck here. I can’t see and you can’t walk.” His hands reached out blindly as he staggered towards the Major’s voice. Finding the wall, and then the door, he sank to his knees, taking in deep slow breaths. Hands trembling, he dropped his head. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“Sure you can. Just help me up and we can get the panel off, then you can do your McKay magic.”
“Science is a hardly magic, Major. Although… magic is usually just applied science designed to fool gullible adults and small children.” He paused as felt Sheppard’s arm drape his shoulder. Grabbing his hand, he used it to leverage the Major to his feet then grabbed his belt in a tight grip, holding him upright. He grunted with the effort, “Of course it makes sense that you still have a fondness for it.” He stayed still, holding the Sheppard firmly, listening for the fast, shallow breaths to ease off, “Major?”
Sheppard nodded, forgetting that McKay couldn’t see him. “I’m good.” Rodney flashed him a knowing look that even blind told him he didn’t believe him. It didn’t help that he was gritting his teeth as he spoke. Even with his feet barely touching the ground it was enough to send shooting pain through his lower back and his ribs made breathing a conscious effort. “Just don’t drop me.”
Rodney had his eyes closed, leaning into the wall while Sheppard fiddled with the panel. He tried to hold him steady, but his hands and legs were starting to tremble and it was getting harder to keep his grasp as his muscles twitched uncontrollably. He was interrupted from his thoughts when John startled, jerking in his grasp. “Ease up! I think you gave me a wedgie.”
“Sorry,” Rodney said, willing his hand to relax its grip. Sweat dripped into his unseeing eyes, and he blinked away the sting. His head was pounding in time with his heartbeat and getting louder with each passing minute. The major was heavy and he had to concentrate to keep them both from crumbling to the floor. About to admit he needed to sit, the Major came through and he heard the metal panel clank to the floor. He didn’t wait for any argument and lowered both of them back to the floor. “I need to sit.”
“Sitting is good.” Wincing as he settled in the dirt, Sheppard glanced at McKay who was decidedly pale.
Nodding, Rodney closed his eyes, swallowing hard as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. His hand shook and he hid it in his lap. “What did you see?”
Watching McKay closely, he was aware of the tremors in his hands but let him be. “Wires.”
“What an astute observation, nothing gets by you,” Rodney retorted, letting his chin rest on his chest. He wanted to sleep, but was nudged from the beginning of a doze.
“Wake up.”
Rodney jerked awake and said groggily, “Can’t we just once sit and wait for a rescue.”
“You think they’ll find us. I’m betting we’re in some underground facility.”
“What makes you think we can find our way out of here, assuming of course we make it past the guards? Oh, and lets not forget that I can’t see and you can’t walk. Short of carrying your ass, we’re going no where.”
When Sheppard didn’t respond, Rodney looked at him sharply, disbelief unmasked on his face. “You actually want me to carry you out of here, don’t you?”
“This would be a good time to point out that you’ve buffed up, right? And you are always saying I have a skinny ass so now’s the perfect chance to put all that work to use.”
“I suppose you’re going to see for me, is that it?” smirked Rodney, barely containing himself.
“Don’t go there, McKay?” growled Sheppard, knowing his friend too well. Giving him a sideways glance he saw the smirk on McKay’s face growing. “Oh hell, just get it over with then.”
Rodney actually burst out laughing, gasping his words, “Sheppard…my own…seeing…eye…dog.” The laughter finally stopped, but only because it was obviously painful for the scientist to prolong the teasing.
Sheppard sneered at him, allowing himself a small smile, “Feel better?”
“Not really,” sighed McKay, wiping tears away. John was sure if they were from laughing or not. The scientist’s features were pinched tight as he dropped his head. “Still, it was too good to pass up.”