Fic: Unspoken Part 4

[chaps1870]

Title: Unspoken: Part 4

Author: Chaps1870

Pairing: Rodney/Carson   Sheppard friendship.

Rating: R for language

Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.

Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe.  No infringement of copyright is intended.

 

Chapter 4

Entering his room, Rodney threw his gear in the corner and sat down heavily on the bed, dropping his head in his hands.  Carson watched from the desk and cleared his throat, “Bad day, then?”
 
Rodney’s head popped up, a warm smile gracing his face, “Carson. What are you doing here?”
 
“Oh, could be I missed you.”  Getting to his feet, he moved to sit behind Rodney.  His hands found the stiff muscles in his shoulders and began a gentle massage.
 
Dropping his head to his chest, Rodney sighed, “That feels good.”
 
Carson’s thumbs kneaded the worst spots, “How bad was it this time?”
 
“Pretty much the same. The only time I warrant his attention is if he needs information or has the chance to poke fun at me. Otherwise I’m invisible.” There was sadness in his voice and Carson was seriously rethinking his stand about Rodney staying with the team.  It had been three months since Major Sheppard had found out about their relationship and he still wouldn’t talk to Rodney unless it was absolutely necessary.  Gone was the friendship they once shared, replaced with a coolness that left Rodney feeling betrayed.
 
“Why don’t you lie down and I’ll give ya a back rub?”
 
Rodney glanced at his watch then scrubbed his eyes tiredly, “I have a meeting in a couple hours. Zelenka wants to go over his latest calculations for the desalination plant.”
 
Pulling him back onto the bed, Carson rolled him to his stomach and continued to massage his back, “Time enough for a nap then. You’re not gettin’ enough sleep as it is.”
 
“Too much to do.” Yawning, Rodney felt his eyes closing against his will and he reached out for Carson, who settled next to him on the bed. Snuggling closer, Rodney mumbled, “I have to meet with Stackhouse in the morning… Ford promised me some time in the afternoon…” His voice drifted off and he muttered sleepily as he wrapped himself around Carson, “Wake me, will you.”
 
“Aye, go ta sleep, luv.” Carson rubbed his fingers through Rodney’s short hair. He worried about all the effort his lover was making to trying to compensate for not having been trained for military expeditions. Early morning training sessions with Teyla, Ford, Stackhouse or on occasion the Athosians and late nights catching up on his own work were taking a toll on Rodney.  The fact that he rarely mentioned his extra effort told Carson how much being a part of the team meant to him.  Afraid of failing, he didn’t want anyone to know how badly he’d been trying to prevent doing just that.
 
  ************
 
Pojan, the Kinoban chief, shook his head. “I am sorry Major Sheppard, but you are no longer allowed to leave. By entering the warrior encampment you made a commitment to accept our help.”
 
“We’re leaving.” Sheppard stepped forward and a dozen weapons snapped up.  Glaring sharply at the chief he insisted loudly, “You can’t do this.”
 
They had come to the planet on a routine mission, using one of the gate addresses in the Ancient database.  After arriving, McKay had gotten faint energy readings and they’d followed the signal until coming across the small settlement.  It was inhabited by a race of warriors, but they assured the Sheppard’s team they were friendly and welcomed them, even allowing them to explore the area.  Pojan informed them that the Kinoban’s were committed to the fight against the Wraith and provided all warriors a chance to improve themselves.  What he didn’t explain was the subtleties that were involved about said commitment.
 
“We are committed to our role, Major Sheppard. We cannot in good faith let you leave without doing our best to make your unit a better one. It is what we are here for. You said yourself that Doctor McKay is a liability to your team.”
 
“I never said that!” exclaimed Sheppard, ignoring the pointed stare from McKay.
 
The leader gave a small nod of acknowledgement, “No you did not say it, but your thoughts are very clear to us. When we asked about your team’s strengths and weaknesses we were able to access each of your minds to find the information that will aid us in our goal.” Pojan wasn’t unsympathetic. This wasn’t the first time a group of individuals wandered into their encampment unaware, but their people were warriors. They’d devoted their lives to training those less capable than themselves.  By doing so, they were contributing a service in the fight against the Wraith.  ”Do not feel badly Major Sheppard, Doctor McKay agrees with your assessment regarding his worth to this team.”
 
John gave Rodney an embarrassed look, which was ignored. Rodney looked around nervously, somehow knowing that he was the one on the hot seat, “So now what?” The resignation in his voice did nothing to assuage Sheppard’s guilt.
 
Pojan answered, “We will work with you for several days to determine which areas require work. Each day we will present you with a different aspect of training. If you pass we will move on to the next exercise.”
 
“And if I don’t pass?” Rodney tried his best to hide his rising panic.
 
“We will discuss this more when the time comes.” Motioning to two of his men, Pojan directed Rodney, “If you will go with them, they will help you prepare.”
 
Teyla, Ford and Sheppard looked on helplessly as Rodney was lead away, all of them feeling responsible, none more so than the Major.  He ignored the warriors guarding them and tried to follow McKay only to find his way blocked when two of them stepped in his path.  There was no getting past the brawny warriors.
 
Looking over their shoulders, he called out to the doctor, “You can do this McKay. It’ll be a piece of cake.”  It was only training and the Kinoban’s really didn’t make it sound too threatening. John figured maybe it would actually be good for McKay to improve on his field skills. 
 
Rodney shook his head without looking back, “Seems I have little say in the matter, Major.”
 
Sheppard watched him leave and shrugged away from the guards, “Damn it.” He tried to rationalize the whole situation, trying to see if they could have prevented any of it, but all he could see was the hurt in McKay’s face at the realization of what his team, no… what John, thought of him.  Looking into the faces of Teyla and Ford didn’t help any and he snapped at them, “Okay, so he’s not a soldier, how was I to know they’d pick my brain.  It doesn’t mean I think he’s worthless to the team.”
 
“Perhaps not Major, but you cannot deny that you have a problem with his presence on our team.”
 
Walking to the corner of the tent they’d been using since arriving, Sheppard sank onto the cot there. “It’s not that. I just don’t trust him to watch our backs.  His mind wandering like it does, who knows what’s going through his head.” Neither Teyla nor Ford was convinced, and he added defensively, “What? He thought the same thing I did.”
 
Ford remained silent, deferring to his commanding officer for the time being. Teyla had no such problem speaking her mind. “I believe Doctor McKay thinks he is unworthy because that is how you see him. He has made every effort to be a part of this team and continues to improve.”
 
“Well he didn’t do so well with the Genii, did he?” huffed Sheppard, reminding them that McKay had buckled under the knife-welding Koyla.
 
“He gave you time, did he not? We do not know what took place that day. We cannot say that we would have done any differently than he did.”
 
John was about to say something more when Rodney returned, looking a little paler than when he’d left and wearing the native garb.  Gone was his uniform and in its place were tight buckskin pants and fitted shirt common to the other warriors. Rodney was clearly uncomfortable in it and kept trying to pull the clingy material away from his skin, hoping to provide more room.
 
“Doesn’t leave much to the imagination McKay. Maybe you can ask for a pair to take home, I’m sure Carson would love to see you in that,” goaded Sheppard.
 
Embarrassed, Rodney pointedly adjusted himself in the tight pants. Holding his crotch, he sneered at Sheppard, “It’s just as well it’s me and not you, Major. They’d probably hang on you.”
 
Teyla and Ford both snickered, but were cut short by a glare from the red-faced Major, “Funny McKay. We’ll see who’s laughing at the end of the day.”
 
Pojan entered and interrupted their taunting, “Doctor McKay has been informed about what is expected and will allow you to watch as he goes through the training. I must warn you that any interference will result in a serious penalty.” 
 
“So we just sit here and watch while he does all the work. That doesn’t sound like much in the way of teamwork,” said Sheppard.
 
Pojan smiled, “Not all the cohesiveness of a team is that which can be seen, Major.” Pointing towards the door he beckoned them to follow. “Oh and Major, we have shut down our gate for the duration of the training. It is standard practice and is no reflection on you or your people. I hope you understand.”
 
“Well to be honest, Pojan, I don’t understand a damn thing about what you are doing or why.”
 
The leader spoke as they continued towards the training fields, “You will Major. By the time you leave, things will be much clearer to all of you, and your team will be much better for the time you’ve spent here.”
 
“And just how long will that be?” asked Sheppard, his patience wearing thin.
 
“Approximately five days, Major.  At the end of that time, should Doctor McKay perform accordingly, you will be free to go.”
 
Rodney tensed as the Kinoban leader spoke.  He’d been informed of the rules, the exercises and the penalties, none of which set well with him.  The only interaction he would have with his team for the next fives days would be at the end of the day.  During the course of the day he would spend his time with his ‘trainers’.
 
Arriving in a large open field, Pojan lead Teyla, Ford and Sheppard to a well defined area under one of the few trees in the area. “Should you try to interfere or leave this area, we will be forced to assign guards. The choice will be yours as to whether we treat you as honored guests or we confine you to your quarters.”  He left them and joined Rodney in the middle of the field. They talked at length when suddenly McKay turned and took off at a dead run across the field.
 
He looked back several times, but after stumbling a couple of times, concentrated on where he was going and not where he’d been.  At some distance from the field was a large cliff with scattered trees about its face.  It was almost straight up and in places as high as 500 ft.
 
Pojan returned to the group, and the team watched Rodney run for several minutes before Sheppard asked out loud, “What’s the purpose of this, Pojan?”
 
“He has been given a two hour head start on the other warriors. If he makes it to the top before they reach him then he will have passed today’s test. If he does not, he will have to try again.”
 
Sheppard sighed in despair, “He’ll never make it.”
 
Ford spoke in McKay’s defense, “Don’t be so sure. He can run pretty fast when his adrenalin gets up there.”
 
“Yeah, but for how long?”
 
Sticking out his hand, Ford smiled, “Wanna bet he makes it?”
 
Slapping the offered hand, Sheppard smirked at him, “And what makes you so sure, Lieutenant?”
 
Ford blushed and remained silent. It was Teyla that answered, “Doctor McKay has been working out several times a week since his surgery.”
 
Major Sheppard raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Working out?”
 
“I think he bribed Stackhouse and some of the others to help him,” said Ford.
 
“And why would they do that?” He had a hard time believing any of his men would willingly help McKay do anything.  The man left no doubt as to how he felt about military men and wasn’t beneath telling them.
 
“He offered to enhance their computer games and set it up so they could play against each other from anywhere on the base,” offered Ford, suddenly very knowledgeable about what was going on behind his back.
 
Crossing his arms, Sheppard leaned into the tree, ducking a bit to keep his eye on McKay. “So why didn’t I know about this?”
 
Teyla and Ford exchanged glances before she answered hesitantly, “I think Doctor McKay was afraid you would make fun of him.”
 
“I wouldn’t… Alright maybe I would have, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have helped him.”
 
“He has been very secretive about his desire to improve. I think he is afraid of failing in your eyes, Major. To be brought to task about it would only make it worse if he were to do so.”
 
John wasn’t feeling all that good about himself at the moment and he silently turned away from his teammates to watch McKay’s progress.  The doctor was just now making it to the cliff face and it was still a long way up.  He doubted McKay had much experience with rock climbing so the two hour head start was probably a good thing. The warriors most likely could scale the thing in their sleep.  As much as he hated to see McKay fail, well maybe not… it would give him the excuse he needed to drop him from the team, he honestly didn’t think Rodney had it in him to endure any sort of prolonged physical activity.  The man was a hopeless lab rat that hated anything that required sweating.
 
McKay was bent over with his hands on his knees.  Lungs burning, he was trying desperately to catch his breath.  Sweat poured off him and his throat was already feeling parched from the long run. Taking only a few minutes, he scanned his immediate area for water, but seeing none, straightened up.  Gripping the tightness in his lower back, he lifted his head, searching for a way up. Unfortunately there didn’t appear to be a trail that might indicate an easier route.  Glancing behind him one more time to make sure he wasn’t being followed yet, he hurried forward and began to climb.
 
As much as he hated to admit it, the clothes the Kinoban’s had provided were more suited to climbing than his uniform would have been.  The soft soled shoes allowed him to get his toes into places that his boots would never have found purchase. Looking down at himself and the tight fitting clothes, he laughed inwardly. Much to his chagrin, the major was right, Carson really would appreciate his latest look. .  The two months of training had actually paid off and he no longer carried the added weight that lab work had gotten him.
 
His mind drifted as he moved his hands from one toehold to the next and he wondered, not for the first time, how he’d gotten into this mess.  He knew he wasn’t a soldier, never aspired to be Joe macho and yet here he was trying to prove himself against a bunch of Conan wannabees.  As much as he hated the whole idea, he found himself wanting to succeed. He really didn’t have a lot of choice.  He either did it the first time or he’d be back here doing it again.  His choices were limited, there wouldn’t be a third chance. Pojan had made that very clear.  Two chances at each exercise. He didn’t want to dwell on the consequences if he failed. 
 
Taking a minute to wipe his brow on his sleeve, he looked down and found his progress was slow.  He wished they hadn’t taken his watch so he had some indication of how long he’d been at this.  Best he could figure it had been less than an hour since he started and he was only about a quarter of the way up the rock wall.  His fingers were sore and bleeding and his toes cramped from being wedged into places they were never meant to be.
 
Rock climbing was not one of his favorite pastimes and he remembered now why he hated it so much.  On a side note, he was grateful that he’d gone the few times in college with his Geology friends and at least learned the basics.  At the time he was more interested in the rocks than the rock climbing but something must have soaked in.
 
*****
 
His team had talked Pojan into retrieving their binoculars and all three were silently watching McKay make his ascent. Pojan was also watching and commented, “Your friend is doing well. Based on your perceptions I hadn’t anticipated this.” He laughed lightly, “Perhaps two hours was too much.”
 
“That is our friend out there. This may be a game to you, but I doubt very much if McKay is finding it all that funny right now.” said Sheppard, surprising himself in his defense of Rodney.
 
Pojan looked thoughtful, “You are a difficult man to see into Major.  You spend a great deal of your time trying to deny what you already know to be true.” Without waiting for a response he walked away, heading towards the warriors that stood waiting for his orders.  As he approached, Pojan gave a hand signal and two warriors ran effortlessly across the field towards McKay.  The old man did not rejoin the team, leaving Sheppard to wonder what kind of game Pojan was playing. 
 
In less than five minutes the warriors were at the base of the cliff ready to make their ascent. Rodney had seen them coming across the field and he’d made the mistake of rushing his climb.  Now he was hanging by a wrist he’d managed to wedge into a crevasse when he’d lost his grip and fallen several feet.  Exhausted beyond imagining, the pain in his wrist was the only thing pushing him to move again. Twisting his body, he blindly moved his foot until he found a toehold and lifted enough to take some of the pressure off his aching wrist. Salty sweat stung his eyes as he searched for a new handhold. Reaching up with his free hand he found a jagged edge of rock but his fingers lost their grip and he slipped, jarring his wrist again.  He bit back a moan and sucked air into his oxygen starved lungs before starting over. After several attempts to find foot and hand holds, he was able to free himself.
 
With his face rubbing against the rock wall, he tilted it back and looked above for a way up.  He was still about a third of the way from the top and he could already hear his pursuers down below.  Feeling put upon, he thought about just giving up but the idea of starting over was too much to even consider. Wiping his face as best he could on his shoulder, he started up again mumbling about how soldiers were obviously dumber than his original estimate if they found this type of activity thrilling. 
 
His fingers and hands were bleeding, making it even harder to find a stable handhold and his toes were so tender he was sure that walking would be impossible tomorrow. Face clenched tightly against the unrelenting throbbing in his hands and feet and the trembling of muscle in his arms and legs, he moved higher.
 
Time seemed to move as slowly as he was.  Nearing the top, he could almost feel the warriors beneath him as he hurried to reach his freedom.  He could almost reach up and touch the rim when a hand wrapped around his ankle, attempting to yank him down. Instinctively, he tightened his handhold and fought to free himself.  Desperation, anger and frustration were powerful emotions when one was on the verge of losing it, and Rodney lifted his free foot, slamming it hard into the face of the man below him. Suddenly free and adrenalin racing wildly through his exhausted and worn body, he scrambled up and over the top without even thinking about where his hands and feet were managing to find purchase.  He lay in a heap at the top, gasping for air and letting the cool breeze cool his overheated body.
 
Down below the celebration was a little more exuberant.  His fellow teammates had watched anxiously as the warriors got closer and closer to his position.  When they saw the warrior grab McKay, a collective gasp was all that was heard.  Sheppard gripped his binoculars tightly, muttering under his breath, “Come on, Rodney. Beat that son of a bitch.”
 
When Rodney freed himself and practically flew over the top of the rim, he would have been proud of the cheers from his teammates. Their celebration was short lived, because Pojan reappeared, insisting they return to their room.  They immediately asked about McKay but were only told he would return later. Their only option was to wait patiently for him to be returned to them.