Fic: Unspoken Part 5

[chaps1870]

Title: Unspoken Parts 5 & 6

Author: Chaps1870

Pairing: Rodney/Carson

Rating: R for language

Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.

Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe.  No infringement of copyright is intended.

 

Chapter 5

Rodney appeared over an hour later.  Without a word, he stumbled to one of the cots and sat down heavily. He held his hands carefully, not wanting to aggravate them any further.  The Kinoban’s had cleaned him up and given him fresh clothes but whatever they’d put on his hands still burned fiercely.  Spying the bucket of water near the small table in the center of the room, he rushed over, thrusting both hands in to stop the burn.  Grimacing as the water hit all the scrapes and cuts, he gently washed away the harsh medicine. Up until then he’d ignored his teammates, but Sheppard’s voice cut through the silence.
 
“Geez McKay, we gotta drink outta that!” Sheppard didn’t mean for it to come out sounding so sharp. He’d intended it to lighten some of tension in the room, but it had the opposite effect.
 
Glaring at him, Rodney purposely ducked his hands back under the water, sneering “So sorry.”
 
As the sting began to ease, he pulled his hands back.  Shaking away the excess water, he looked around for something to dry them on.  Teyla was beside him, holding out a towel while Ford was rummaging through his pack for a first aid kit. Sheppard silently picked up the bucket, went to the door and handed it to their guards to change out.
 
Dabbing his hands dry, Rodney went back to the cot to lie down, his hands resting lightly on his chest.  Ford spoke before he could even close his eyes, “Let Teyla look at your hands then ya need to eat somethin’ Doc.”
 
His voice was heavy as he answered, “They fed me already. I just want to sleep.”
 
Teyla sat on the edge of his bed, reaching out for one of his hands, “Let me tend to these before you sleep. You don’t want them to get infected.”
 
“They’re fine, just a little sore. Please, I just want to sleep.” He rolled onto his side away from them, biting back a groan as his muscles complained.  The thought of even moving tomorrow made him tense and he forced himself to relax.  Not one to waste a lot of his time sleeping, it was all he could think of at the moment. He only hoped tomorrow wasn’t as difficult as today had been.  Pojan mentioned weapons training, and although he was no marksman, he could at least get close to what he aimed at, enough that he might actually get through the day. He could hear whispering in the room, but his mind shut down and he fell into a deep sleep, oblivious to everything around him.
 
Hearing light snores, Sheppard leaned over McKay’s bed to check on him, “He’s out. We might as well do the same. I’m betting these people are up with the dawn.”
 
Sometime in the middle of the night Rodney woke up and fumbled with the thin blanket covering him.  Every little movement was agony to his stiffening muscles and he groaned softly in the darkness as he sat up. Leaning over to rest his elbows on his knees, he rubbed at the back of his neck and realized his hands were bandaged.  God, he’d been so tired he hadn’t even felt them do it.  No doubt at Teyla’s insistence.  Their ointment was a big improvement over the Kinoban medicine and his fingers and hands were more stiff than sore now.
 
Letting his eyes adjust to the dark, he was able to see the bucket had been replaced and he half stumbled towards the table.  Reaching for his lower back, he arched into his hands and felt his back pop in several places. Straightening slowly, he set his hands on the table and dropped his head, as he sighed quietly, “That is so gonna hurt tomorrow.”
 
“McKay?” Rodney’s head shot up at the Major’s voice.  He stood still hoping Sheppard would go back to sleep. No such luck. “What’s wrong?”
 
“Nothing is wrong, Major. I’m just getting a drink.” Memories surfaced and he couldn’t stop himself, “I’ll be sure to leave some.”  He reached for the bucket of water and filling a cup, took several long drinks.
 
“Don’t be so pissy, McKay. I was just asking,” sighed John, his voice hushed so as not to wake the others.
 
“Well forgive me if I don’t jump at your concern, today was very enlightening for me.” 
 
“Look I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’d stop it if I could.”
 
Rodney doubted his sincerity. Up until today he’d held out hope that maybe their friendship was salvageable and that John would come around. Up until today he’d done everything in his power to prove he was worthy of the team and up until today he hadn’t realized that Sheppard thought so little of his abilities.
“Don’t bother with the platitudes, Major. I suppose I should have caught on sooner, but you know me, lonely geek, desperate for friends, held out ‘til it slapped him in the face. You can sleep well tonight knowing this is my last mission. I’ll have Elizabeth remove me from the team as soon as we get home.” He returned to his bed and regretted flopping down on the thin mattress when his aching body made contact.  Wrapping his arms around himself he added, “Goodnight, Major.”  
 
The room was eerily quiet until John whispered, “I’m sorry, I just don’t think you’re suited for the field.”
 
Rodney rolled over and looked at Sheppard, his voice low as he hissed, “At least be honest about it. You can’t stand that I’m gay. It has nothing to do with my capabilities in the field. If it did you’d have gotten rid of me a long time ago. I never claimed to be a soldier. You knew that. It only became an issue when you realized that I might have some secret claim on your ass. Well don’t flatter yourself, Major, your reputation precedes you.”
 
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
 
“It means that I’m not interested in someone that is trying to fuck their way across the galaxy.”
 
“Fuck you, McKay.”
 
“Snappy comeback, Major. I’ll have to write that one down. Now shut the fuck up so I can go to sleep.”
 
“Yeah, I hear you got a busy day tomorrow.  I’m sure you’ll really impress them with your shooting skills. I wonder if they understand ‘broadside of a barn’?” Sheppard clenched his jaw, angry that he’d let McKay get to him again.  Under normal circumstances his remarks wouldn’t have such a bite to them, but he just couldn’t seem to stop himself from antagonizing the man at every turn and he hated himself for it.
 
Tired and hurt by Sheppard’s comments, McKay rolled onto his side, muttering to himself, “I hope for your sake I can get through another day.”  While Sheppard thought the whole thing was just some training exercise that might make him a better man, Rodney knew otherwise.  If he didn’t pass each exercise, then his team would pay the price…with their lives.
 
******
 
The next morning Rodney was pulled from sleep before the dawn.  By the time the sun had risen he’d eaten and was being put through the paces with Kinoban’s weapons.  The first phase was in the use of a bow and it wasn’t proving too difficult for Rodney.  His first attempts were off, being unused to the power of the bow he’d been given, but after that it was just a matter of adjusting the trajectory for each distance and he was able to hit the target with some degree of accuracy.
 
It was an incredibly hot day and by midmorning, Rodney was feeling its affects.  Red-faced and sweating he tried to ask for water several times, but was denied.  The sun, the exertion and his hypoglycemia finally caught up with him and he stumbled, only barely catching himself before falling face first in the dirt.  Sitting on his knees, a hand in the dirt to brace himself, he took in several deep breaths.  Sweat dripped into his eyes and he swiped it way, leaving a dirt streak in its wake. His whole body was trembling and he swallowed against the dryness in his throat as he spoke to one of the nameless warriors, “I need to eat something or I won’t be a damn bit of good to you.” When he remained motionless, Rodney shouted at him, “Look, I have a medical condition you moron. If I don’t eat, I die, surely even you can understand that.”   The dust and effort set him coughing and wheezing.
 
The warrior grabbed him, pulling him to his feet, but a few steps later Rodney fell again, his legs too wobbly to hold him up. Pojan left him and walked slowly towards the team, who stood watching anxiously from the waiting area.  All three began pleading as soon as he was in range, “He needs help.”
 
“He’s hypoglycemic, he needs to eat.”
 
“He needs water, the sun is killing him.”
 
Pojan raised his hand, silencing them. “What is this condition you speak of?”
 
Sheppard stepped forward, not taking his eyes off McKay as he spoke, “He has hypoglycemia. If he doesn’t eat his blood sugar goes down.”
 
Puzzled Pojan asked, “What does this mean?”
 
Frustrated, John started to answer, but Teyla cut him off, speaking calmly to the Kinoban leader, “He needs to eat in order to have the energy to function. If he does not eat regularly, especially when he is exerting himself, his body will eventually shut down and he will die.”  Reaching into her pocket, Teyla pulled out a powerbar, “Please, let me take this to him and some water. It will help.”
 
Pojan nodded and Teyla was about to go to Rodney, when Sheppard pulled her back. Fumbling in his pocket he pulled out two chocolate bars. “Here, these’ll work faster.” Noticing her look of surprise, he shrugged, “I started carrying them, just in case.”
 
Teyla smiled and eyed him suspiciously, but said nothing. Instead she took the candy and a water flask to where McKay was sitting, his head buried between his knees. Dropping her hand to his shoulder, she got his attention, “Doctor McKay, I’ve brought you some chocolate.”
 
Lifting his head, Teyla was startled by how bad he looked and quickly unwrapped the bar and handed it to him.  He took it in his trembling hands and ate it, barely taking the time to chew.  “Thanks.” His color started to return as he ate the second bar and he pointed to the flask she was carrying, “Is that water?”
 
“Yes.” Uncapping it, she handed it too him, “Not too much at first.”
 
McKay nodded and let the first sips cool his parched throat before taking several long drinks. Teyla sat with him until the shaking stopped and noted he was looking better, “You are doing well, Doctor. I did not know you could shoot a bow.”
 
Smiling, he shrugged, “It was a common geek sport in school. Kept us from having to shower with the jocks.”
 
He handed her back the water and she pushed it back at him, “Take it, maybe they will let you keep it. You need to drink more. You do not look so well.”
 
“I’m not used to being out in the sun. Remind to do the sunblock tomorrow.”
 
Teyla reached into her pocket and retrieved her own then quickly began applying it to his face and hands before anyone could say anything.  It stung on his sun burnt face, and he winced, “Ow…ow…ow…that hurts.”
 
“I know but it will keep it from getting any worse.”  Finishing, she handed him the small tube along with the powerbar for later.
 
Rising to her feet, she helped him up. He was steadier and feeling much better after the food and water. “Thanks.”
 
Stepping forward, she rested her forehead to his in the Athosian custom, “Be well, Doctor. We will see you this evening.”
 
Rodney blushed slightly, but felt better knowing she was being so supportive of his efforts. She left him alone and he stuffed the items she’d passed along into the only pocket on his shirt. Without asking, he draped the water flask over his shoulder and glared at the warriors, daring them to take it away. When they didn’t he sighed inwardly, not showing his relief that they hadn’t taken it from him.  So far today, the sun and no water had been his worst enemies and having it made him feel more secure about being able to get through the day, that and the powerbar.  Shading his eyes, he glanced up at the sun and figured lunch was still an hour away. Taking a deep breath, he trudged back to the target area and taking up his bow, finished what he started.
 
For the second night in a row, Rodney stumbled into their tent and collapsed in a heap on the cot.  Sheppard sat on his own cot, eyeing McKay as Teyla and Ford got him water and rebandaged his hands. His fingers had taken a beating again from the bowstring and were even more red and raw than the day before. 
 
“You gonna make it, McKay? You don’t look so hot,” said Sheppard, trying to keep his voice level so as not to show his concern.  McKay ignored him and shifting on the small cot, promptly fell asleep. 
 
Sheppard had to admit that he wasn’t expecting the man to do so well today.  It was disconcerting to learn that his own second was responsible for improving McKay’s shooting skills to the point that he was actually impressed.  Ford had finally confessed to working with the Doctor after he’d come to him for help.  The lieutenant even grinned when he told him proudly, ‘You oughta see him launch a grenade. He’s got one helluva an arm.’ 
 
It was hard for Sheppard to see McKay in this new light and it shook him.  The last thing he expected was for the scientist to actually take time away from his busy schedule to improve on his field skills.  The fact that it meant enough to him to do so was more disturbing than anything else.  It wore at his conscience even more that McKay was giving it all up at the end of this mission.  It was all being thrown back in his face and he didn’t like it one bit.  He’d convinced himself that McKay was a liability to the team and yet the last two days were proving otherwise. The fact that Teyla, Ford and some of his own men were able to see past the gay thing and he couldn’t, didn’t sit well with him at all. Sleep did not come easy and he tossed and turned for several hours, wishing like hell they’d never stepped foot on this planet.

Chapter 6

The next morning, Rodney woke to Teyla’s nudging. “It is time to rise, Doctor. They will be here soon.”  Not a morning person, he sat up slowly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He couldn’t stop the groan that accompanied his actions and he slumped into his hands, wincing at the soreness there.  Doing a few contortions, he tried to ease some of the stiffness in his back, but the aching remained despite his efforts.  He hoped that after a time it would go away as it had yesterday. The long days and constant physical activity was wearing him down and he’d never felt so tired in his life.
 
“What’s on the agenda today, McKay?” asked Sheppard, sitting off in the darkness of the room.
“What do you care, Major? You ought to be enjoying this. The perfect opportunity to see me screw up… justify your position. I’m sorry to disappoint you.” 
 
“I wasn’t disappointed…surprised maybe.”
 
“I’ll bet.” Sarcasm dripped from McKay’s voice.  The flap of the door opened signaling the start of his day and he added tersely, “If you’ll excuse me, Major. I have to go prove my testosterone levels are up to par with the military.”
 
 Damn it if the man didn’t know where to hit and make it hurt.  “Yeah, you do that McKay.” He tried to be cynical, but it came off flat.  Seeing McKay looking so run down had niggled at his conscience.  Deep down he felt sorry for him, hated seeing him go through it all because he’d let his opinion get out. Scrubbing his hands through his hair he got up, knowing sleep would not come again.
 
***************
 
Rodney was stumbling through the brush, consulting his scanner at regular intervals.  It was a shock when Pojan had handed him the Ancient device and instructed him on the days exercise. “You came to this planet looking for a power source, yes?”
 
“Well that was the initial reason. I detected a small energy source when we first arrived. Why?”
 
“I am not without compassion, Doctor. Today’s exercise was one in which you were to find your way to a predetermined point several miles from here and then find your way back. Since you are looking for a power source and we do not have need of such things, I will allow you to go for it.” Rodney’s eyes lit up, but his enthusiasm was short lived when Pojan continued, “However, the same conditions will apply. You will have to be back here by tomorrow at this time and will be provided with only a knife. Any food or water will be up to you to find along the way.  I am aware of your medical condition but the forest is where we harvest our food and you should have no problem if you are resourceful.  I’ve provided you with the device so you may find the power source, but you will still have to find your way back to this camp by morning. If you arrive before than you should use the time to sleep. You will not be compensated for the lack of sleep should you arrive in the morning. ”
 
“Yes, yes…when can I start?” said Rodney impatiently.  For the first time since arriving he actually had some enthusiasm and finding a power source they could use might make the whole thing worthwhile.
 
“After you have eaten, you may begin.”
 
****************
 
Pojan explained the situation to the rest of the team, letting them know that Doctor McKay would be out of sight until his return.  “Since there is little for you to do, I thought perhaps Teyla would like to visit our women’s encampment. It is a short distance away and she might find it interesting.”
 
“Teyla?” questioned Sheppard.
 
“I would very much like to see other ways in which they train.”
 
Ford was smiling and bouncing on his heels, “Maybe I should go along, Major. You know, keep an eye out on her.”
 
Sheppard snorted, “I doubt Teyla needs your assistance, and I would question where your eyes were Lieutenant. The last thing we need is for you to do something that would offend these people.”
 
“It is quite alright, Major. Our women can take care of themselves. They would enjoy visiting with both of them,” said Pojan, shaking his head knowingly at the young man’s enthusiasm.
 
Hesitating a moment, Major Sheppard finally relented, “I suppose it’s better than sitting around here all day. Maybe I should come too.”
 
Pojan interrupted, “I was hoping you and I could talk today, Major.”
 
Eyeing him suspiciously, he asked, “About what?”
 
“I would like to learn more about your military and how you train your soldiers.”
 
“Yeah sure. Okay Teyla, you and Ford are on your own. Be back before dark.”
 
Motioning to one of his men, Pojan instructed him to guide their two visitors to the women’s camp.  As soon as they were on their way the old man turned to the Major, “Let’s walk, shall we. It helps with these old bones.”
 
They walked for several minutes before Sheppard became impatient, “What is the real reason you wanted me alone today?”
 
“I thought we could discuss Doctor McKay.”
 
“I’d really rather not, unless you are willing to release him from this game of yours,” he said defensively, his eyes drifting towards the hills they taken McKay to earlier in the day.
 
Pojan shook his head, “No, I cannot do that. Things must proceed as they have.  I wish to understand more about you and Doctor McKay. I think that you are friends and yet you are afraid of what your people will think if you show him this.”
 
“Well yeah, sort of.” Sheppard followed Pojan around the camp, stopping to watch the various warriors on occasion. He continued to speak when Pojan remained silent, “Look, where we come from, and especially among soldiers, it’s not acceptable for two men to be in a relationship.”
 
“And yet some of your own men have stepped forward to support him when he asked for help in his efforts to please you. This does not make sense if your people do not like what he is doing.”
 
Sheppard stopped and asked, “See that right there. Why would he want to please me?”
 
“Perhaps he only wants what he once had.”
 
“And what would that be?”
 
“Your friendship, Major.”
 
Walking again, he huffed, “Well I can’t be friends with him anymore.”
 
Pojan cast him a sideways glance, clarifying his understanding. “Because you had such a close relationship before you are worried that others will take it wrong if you continue to show that same degree of companionship?”
 
“Yes, damn it!” John was embarrassed that the Kinoban leader could see through his charade.
 
Raising an eyebrow, Pojan asked curiously, “And yet you miss it?”
 
John hesitated and looked longingly towards the hills before answering sadly, “Yeah, I do.”
 
“Hmmm,” sighed the old man as he walked ahead of him.
 
Hurrying after, John grabbed his arm. “What does that mean? Hmmm?”
 
“Just hmmm, Major. Tomorrow…Tomorrow we will talk more.” Pojan walked away, leaving John to wonder who was actually being tested in this Kinoban ritual.
 
**********
 
Rodney stumbled for like the twentieth time and cursed the Kinoban’s, Sheppard, and the whole damn Pegasus galaxy as he brushed off his hands and reached for the artifact he’d dropped in the process.  It looked like a box, with no discernable markings and he had no idea what it was or how it worked.  Only ten inches square, its small size was deceptive and when he’d originally picked it up, he found it weighed considerably more than he expected.   It took him all morning just to locate it, trudging up and down hills, crossing streams and fighting bugs that wanted to suck the life out of him. Another hour was wasted removing the device from the ruins. 
 
Taking a short break near one of the smaller streams, he took a long drink.  Trying to recall some of the foods he’d eaten since arriving on this dismal planet, he looked around hoping to spot something familiar among the fauna.  This morning he’d discovered a bush with the small fruit he’d seen at the table of the warriors but even picking it clean had only provided a meager meal at best.  There were lots of grubs and crawling things but he wasn’t that desperate just yet. 
 
Looking up the hill from where he sat, he sighed wearily. He was getting tired and if time weren’t such an issue he could have curled up and fallen asleep right where he was.  His hands were a mess and his wrist ached.  As he cleaned them in the cool water of the stream, he thought briefly about the number of alien bugs infesting his system.  The wrist he’d jammed in the rocks the first day had taken a beating yesterday holding the bow and today’s lifting wasn’t helping.  Grabbing the knife Pojan provided, he cut away his sleeve and using the material, made a makeshift wrap for his wrist.  He tested it, moving his wrist at different angles and found it limited his mobility immensely. Proud of himself for thinking of it, he hoped it would alleviate some of the ache when he lifted the damn box again.
 
As he sat staring up the hillside, knowing he’d have to get moving again, it occurred to him that he hadn’t paid much attention on the way to retrieve the device. He didn’t remember the hills being quite so steep or the streams quite so cold. Either that or he’d just been too preoccupied looking for the device.  Now it all seemed alarmingly daunting and getting to his feet, he gripped the heavy box as he scanned for familiar landmarks. So far he’d managed to find his own trail back, thankful for his clumsiness on the way there when he found a broken branch or footprint that told him he was going in the right direction.  He seriously considered using the scanner to chart the way out, but he feared Pojan would know and he’d have to do the day over. Not something he was willing to risk. So, he’d turned off the scanner and shoved it in his pocket so as not to be tempted. 
 
He walked on through the afternoon, stopping only for water or an occasional snack if he recognized something familiar in one of the bushes or trees.  He’d lost count of how many times he’d stumbled trying to hold the stupid box and walk at the same time. His hands and knees were scraped and sore and he really, really hated the Kinoban’s at the moment. How could a race survive under such pretenses? Training others my ass, it was a wonder the whole damn group hadn’t had their throats cut in their sleep for their superior attitude.   Rodney kept going, occupying his mind with ways to seek vengeance against the Kinoban warriors.
 
With no more than an hour of daylight left, Rodney knew there was no chance of making it back before dark. He was soaked from the numerous streams and his clothes were torn in several places where he’d snagged a bush or twig.  His arms ached from lugging the Ancient device but it was the only proof he had that he’d gone where he’d been sent and he refused to give it up.

As the sky darkened, he anxiously picked up his pace, wanting desperately to reach the last rise before full dark so he at least had the lights of camp to guide him.  With the threat of darkness, he ran clumsily with the awkward weight of the artifact in his hands. He wanted to fling it into the bushes, preferring self-preservation over scientific discovery at this point.  Fear kept him moving forward, the sounds around him increasing and seemingly drawing closer.  Topping the rise, his heart stopped momentarily as his eyes fell on the camp below, a more welcome site there never was.  He trudged through the trees, barely able to see in the waning light, but his eyes had adjusted enough that he could make out the looming trees and thicker brush to avoid.  His descent down the hill was almost haphazard, but when he stumbled into camp he almost shouted his relief.
 
Hurrying towards the finish area he practically threw the artifact at the lone warrior awaiting his return and smiled wearily, “Let’s go eat.”  Fumbling with the device, the man shrugged his shoulders and followed after Rodney so they could eat.
 
Ronik was surprised to see him so soon and he wondered why Pojan was so keen on this particular group of visitors.  It was uncommon to pick out a single member and concentrate solely on their weakness and yet this man was the only one enduring the training sessions.  After three days in the field he questioned his leader’s reasoning, for clearly the man was not as inept as they first thought.  While he wasn’t the best of warriors, he certainly wasn’t the worst and was holding his own in the field exercises.  Perhaps Pojan knew something he didn’t. It wasn’t his place to question the elders.  He stayed with the outsider, making sure he was cleaned up, given fresh clothes and fed before returning him to his teammates. 
 
By the time they arrived at the sleeping quarters the man was practically swaying on his feet and a gentle hand to his elbow kept him upright.  When the man looked at him in surprise Ronik merely nodded then released his hold, allowing him to enter his tent unaided.  He stood outside for several moments but all he heard were a few muttered words, a thump and the soft sound of snoring.  Hurrying away, he went in search of his friends, thinking he might find a game afoot if he was lucky.