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Fic: Unspoken Part 11
Title: Unspoken Part 11
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson
Rating: R for language
Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 11
With the ropes cut, Rodney slumped into the arms of his teammates, unable to hold himself up against the onslaught of pain and the heaviness in his limbs. His arms felt like dead weight and flopped uselessly as he was lowered to the ground. Everything lost focus and voices blurred, all he could feel the agonizing pain in his back. If that wasn’t enough, the blood was returning to his arms and with it came the sharp pins and needles of his circulation returning.
Curling inward, he tried to protect himself from the pain put nothing worked. It seemed to radiate from every nerve ending. Sweat covered, he blinked away the salty drips that ran into his eyes, stinging and adding to his tears. He didn’t want to cry, didn’t want anyone to see his weakness. Blindly pushing away the hands that tried to help, they became more forceful. With a quick move he shuffled away, but landing hard on his side, it jarred his ribs and back. Darkness swam up to meet him and he sank into oblivion.
John sat beside Rodney’s bed wiping his brow with a cool rag. The Kinoban’s had provided all that was needed to tend him, but it did little to negate the anger John was feeling as his eyes drifted over Rodney’s battered and bruised body. Even in sleep, his body twitched at John’s touch.
Pojan informed him that when Rodney woke they were free to leave. John had wanted to leave as soon as they’d cut him down, but there was no way he would make the long trip to the Stargate without some medical care, even that as primitive as the Kinoban’s. They had cleaned Rodney’s back and covered it in some sort of slimy substance meant to help with healing but judging from Rodney’s reaction, even unconscious, it was the same stuff they’d put on his hands earlier in the week. He’d thrashed and moaned as they smeared the foul smelling medicine on his back, but never woke. Now John sat beside him, doing what he could to make Rodney comfortable, but it all seemed too little too late and he only had himself to blame.
Leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, John scrubbed his hands through his hair. A hand dropped on his shoulder startling him. Turning his head, he looked up to find Teyla standing beside him. Her eyes were on Rodney, her concern unmistakable. “Pojan says that the medicine will help with the healing. He should be ready to travel when he awakes. A stretcher will be provided and they will help us to the Stargate.”
As she spoke, Rodney began to stir. His swollen hands twitched a few times, but after a few soft moans, they stilled again. The gentle easy breathing of sleep was replaced with an occasional hitch as the scientist began to awake. Lying on his stomach, Rodney’s eyes fluttered open but soon closed again.
Dropping to his knees beside the bed, John tried to coax him back. “Come on Rodney. The sooner you wake up the sooner we get to go home and get the hell out of here.”
Rodney grunted softly and opened his eyes again. Blinking several times to focus, he found himself with a face full of Major Sheppard, tight and weary under red rimmed eyes. There was also a sadness and underlying hurt in his eyes. No wonder, he’d had to sacrifice himself to Pojan’s men for the sake of a teammate. One he didn’t even like. But that was Major John Sheppard. Take one for the team and pretend it was all hunky dory. Well it wasn’t. It was all right there in his face, along with the pity. Pity for Rodney’s pathetic attempt at bravery. The Major didn’t even have enough faith in him to let him finish what they’d all started. He took away all he’d endured, made it meaningless and walked away the hero. And all Rodney felt was guilt. Lifting his head, he turned away, unwilling to face his shame, his resentment. He just wanted it to go away.
Nudging him gently, John persisted, his tone light, “Wake up, McKay. Pojan won’t let us go until he thinks you’re up to it, so open your eyes. We have your ride already to go. You can sleep all you want on the way back and enjoy the ride.”
Failing to see the humor in his present state, Rodney only heard the words. Jerking to a sitting position at the edge of the cot, he knocked Major Sheppard over in his haste. The effort left him gasping for air against the sudden pain. Reaching up to wipe his brow, his swollen hands stopped him. Grimacing, he moved them to his lap. Glancing at the forlorn faces of Sheppard, Ford and Teyla, he said firmly, “I can walk.” He was not going to be carried from this hellhole, not as long as he could still crawl.
“Don’t be so stubborn, McKay. You’re in no shape to walk that far. ” said Sheppard from his spot on the floor. Rising to his feet, he brushed the dirt off his hands as he spoke to Ford, “Go get Pojan. Tell him he’s awake.”
“Yes, sir.” Ford hurried off.
Moving closer to McKay, who was fumbling with his pack, John took it from him. “What are you looking for?”
Wrapping his arms around his bare torso, Rodney refused to look at him. “I want my shirt,” his voice was on the edge of pleading for it.
“Why? It’s not like you can wear it.” Even with the healing and numbing properties of the Kinoban medicine, there was no way Rodney would be able to stand wearing a shirt. Pojan wanted to apply another round of medicine before they left, to further aid in healing. Remembering Rodney’s reaction to the first application, John winced at the thought of applying it while he was awake. Only Pojan’s insistence that it would help prevent infection and greatly speed healing did he consent to more of the treatment when Rodney woke.
Dejected, Rodney pushed himself to his feet. “Fine.” Staggering under his own weight, he reached out instinctively for balance. John grabbed for him, steadying him as Teyla rushed into help. Sheppard’s concern was confusing him and Rodney shrugged from his grasp. He just wanted to get away, bury it all somewhere, all his flaws, guilt and shame that taunted him every time he looked at them. Their hands no longer restraining him, Rodney walked towards the door, intent on going home. He didn’t care if any one followed or not. Fumbling with the tent flap, it was pulled from his grasp and he came face to face with Pojan and Lieutenant Ford, “Hey Doc. Where you headed?”
Red-faced and sweating heavily, he ignored Ford and side-stepped around them only to be grabbed from behind. The firm grip on his arm pulled him back, turning him to face Sheppard again. Jerking his arm from John’s grasp, he stumbled back to his cot and sat down. He ducked his head, refusing to look at any of them, “I just want to leave.”
Pojan approached, “Soon, Doctor McKay. First I would like to tend to your back. Another application will ensure it does not become infected.”
Rodney’s head shot up, panic in his eyes. “No!” Pojan held the bowl of medicine, poised to apply it. Rodney pushed it away and nervously scooted further from the old man. “You are not putting that shit on me.”
Remaining calm, Pojan spoke reassuringly, “It will greatly reduce the healing time as well. Please, Doctor. I mean you no harm.”
Those words sparked fire in Rodney and he spat, “No harm? All you’ve done and you have the nerve to say, ‘no harm’.” His anger rose and he said vehemently, his voice rising, “First you make me submit to your bullshit training in the name of team improvement. When that’s not enough you threaten me with their lives. Oh but let’s not stop there. Let’s not forget what you did to Major Sheppard.” Rodney was shaking, suddenly aware of what he’d said and he risked a glance at John. Wide-eyed shock was staring back at him.
Rodney closed his eyes, ashamed of himself for reminding John of earlier events. His shoulders slumped as his chin dropped to his chest. He muttered softly, “I’m sorry.”
Frowning, John glanced around the room at the puzzled looks on everyone’s faces and then back at McKay’s dejected form. His eyes widened even further when he realized no one had told Rodney that nothing more had happened after he’d been cut down. He’d been agonizing over something that never happened.
Muttering to himself about his own stupidity, he rubbed the back of his neck as he sat down next to McKay, his voice breaking the uncomfortable silence in the room, “Nothing happened. I’m fine. They didn’t touch me.”
Lifting his head, Rodney stared at him, disbelieving. “Huh?”
Pojan chimed in, “He is correct. We did nothing to harm him.”
Confused, Rodney tried to focus on this latest information. It was all a ruse, another of Pojan’s games. None of it made sense, it all seemed so pointless. Why make him endure the beating if there was no follow through. They’d let Sheppard steal his dignity with his selfless act, making all his suffering meaningless. He looked sharply at the Major and frowned. Why did he look so damn sad if nothing had happened? Without thinking he blurted out, “But you look…” He paused, unsure what to say or how to explain what he was seeing.
John put a hand on Rodney’s shoulder, mindful of his injuries. Rodney flinched at the contact but didn’t pull away. “I look…, what?”
Rodney’s hands fluttered at John, as he stammered, “You…you look…upset. You look tired.” His voice dropped and he hesitated, almost embarrassed to say the words, “You look like miserable. Why, if they didn’t hurt you?”
The innocent question gave John pause and even hurt a bit. Rodney had no idea that his teammates were concerned for him, not someone else. They had given him enough self doubt that it was inconceivable to the scientist that they might actually care. A lump formed in his throat. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he couldn’t look Rodney in the eye as he answered sadly, “I was worried for you, Rodney. Not for me.”
His mouth gaping open, Rodney stared at him, “Why would you even care?”
John stared back, speechless. He knew he should say something…anything…but there was no way to describe how much he did care and how wrong he’d been. How stupid and selfish he’d been. Pojan took advantage of the awkward moment and interrupted, “If you will lie down, I will do your back, Doctor McKay.”
Hurt further by John’s lack of response, Rodney withdrew and let himself be helped back down on the bed. He wasn’t expecting the medicine until Pojan touched his back and he willed himself to relax even as the sting began. A sheen of perspiration covered him as the burn intensified. As if the pain in his back wasn’t enough, Pojan applied the foul stuff to his hands. There was no recourse, no escape and he lay on the cot trembling, his eyes closed tightly against the stinging pain.
Pojan moved to wipe his face but John beat him to it. Sitting on the edge of the cot, he carefully wiped Rodney’s face and arms to keep him cool as the medicine worked. The Kinoban leader left only to return a few minutes later with two packages. Teyla and Ford eyed him curiously as he handed them one of them, “Please place that in Doctor McKay’s pack. He will know what to do with it when he discovers it.”
Teyla nodded, taking the offered package and putting it away in McKay’s pack. Ford’s eyes followed, his curiosity getting the better of him as he signaled her with a raised eyebrow. She shrugged in response, no wiser to the contents than he was. Pojan took the remaining package to where Major Sheppard and Doctor McKay were. Unwrapping it carefully, he revealed a small ornately carved box. Without opening it, he set in on the bed beside Rodney’s head so that he wouldn’t have to move to see it. Rodney’s eyes opened, revealing the pain behind them as he stared unblinking at the object on the bed.
For the first time since meeting the Kinoban leader, Pojan appeared hesitant to speak, uncomfortable even. “This does not come from me but rather is a gift from the warriors of my people.” Glancing meekly at his visitors, he continued. “Sometimes…among the warriors there is one who stands above the others, someone that displays honor, integrity, strength and courage. All of these things that cannot be measured by the skills they possess in the field but exist within a person nonetheless.”
Pojan’s eyes drifted to where Rodney lay on the bed and he continued absently, “This is not something they bestow lightly on one of their own. It is considered a great honor among them and they have asked that I present this gift to you, Doctor McKay.” He dropped his head, adding humbly, “They saw within you something I and the other elders did not. We misjudged you and your team. We have no right to ask forgiveness, but we would like you to know that what my warriors saw within you, so now do your teammates.” He bowed his head respectfully and turned to leave. “When you are ready, we will escort you to the Stargate.”
The silence in the small room was palpable and they watched as Rodney unexpectedly reached out and covered the box with his hand. His face hardened and he angrily swept the box off the cot. Ignoring their shocked expressions, he lifted his head and turned it away, without a word to any of them.
Major Sheppard eased himself away from the cot and retrieved the box, taking a moment to open it. Inside was a thick circular medallion of some sort of metal that seemed to change colors as the light hit it. It was nestled in a carved inlay, holding it securely in place. It was simple in its design and only four delicate symbols graced the surface. The symbols alone had a beauty to them that might have been lost in any other design. Replacing the lid, he handed it to Teyla and motioned towards McKay’s pack. He spoke to her quietly, “Maybe he’ll want it later.”
Teyla nodded solemnly and placed the box with the previous package. They waited in silence, glancing occasionally towards Doctor McKay as he rested on the cot. Less than an hour later, he sat up wearily, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his good hand, his other hand aching because of his wrist. Even the Kinoban’s voodoo medicine hadn’t alleviated the throbbing from the damaged joint, although he had to admit that his back was numb to the point that he felt nothing. Holding his wrist close to his chest, he ventured a look around the room and found the anxious faces of his teammates.
Teammates, he thought… well that was certainly debatable after all that had transpired. While they might have learned something from Pojan’s warped games, Rodney wasn’t as easily swayed and his innate mistrust of people was firmly back in place. He could see the sadness in their eyes, perhaps even remorse, but he felt oddly detached from it. A week of sacrificing himself for them had only brought pain and a new understanding of those he’d considered his friends. Shifting on the bed, he reached for his jacket lying atop his pack, only to have it ripped from his hands. Looking up, he glared at the Major, “Give it back.”
“You can’t wear it. It’ll only make it worse,” said Sheppard harshly, holding the jacket just out of reach.
“Worse, Major? Worse than what?” He left it unanswered and held out his hand for the jacket, “I’m going to put my jacket on and I’m walking out of here.” When Sheppard hesitated, Rodney raised his voice angrily, “Give me the damn jacket!”
John only wanted to help but the man was being decidedly stubborn, unwilling to admit he was in no shape to make the journey back to the gate. Yet, refusing Rodney now would only make things worse between them and John reluctantly handed him his jacket, watching as he struggled to put it on. Rodney gave no indication that it hurt to wear, but John would have been surprised if he had. Except for the occasional twinge of pain, Rodney remained emotionless and only the cold hard look in his eyes gave anything away. He watched him stand, staggering slightly but regaining his balance quickly. Reaching for his pack, John snatched it away, handing it off to Ford without a word.
Even the effort of bending was taking its toll if the paleness in McKay’s face was any indication. He glared at Sheppard, then Ford hoping to intimidate at least one of them. When even Ford held firm, he huffed, “Fine.” Undeterred, he turned on his heel and exited the tent without looking back. The rest of them hurriedly gathered their gear and followed. Pojan and several Kinoban warriors were scrambling after the determined scientist, surprised by his sudden appearance and the fact that he was on his feet and walking. After several hundred yards, they managed to form a satisfactory honor guard for the departing visitors and settled into McKay’s pace.
McKay kept up for about a mile, but fatigue and injuries were catching up to him quickly. His gait became slower and his weariness sent him stumbling more than once. When at last he dropped to his knees, breathing harshly, Sheppard called a halt. He dropped on one knee beside him and said sympathetically, “Don’t do this Rodney. You’ve proven enough, you don’t have to do this. Let us help you.”
Without looking up, Rodney shook his head. “I’m fine.”
John reached out but Rodney forcibly pushed him away and got to his feet again. His pace was slower than before and John worried he would eventually collapse from exhaustion, or worse. The worse had him worried. McKay hadn’t eaten since the morning and it was already mid-afternoon. Just sitting with him, John could see the tiny tremors in his hands and the paleness in his face. They were still several miles from the gate. Adjusting his step he found Pojan and asked, “Is the Gate functioning?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I want to send Teyla and Ford ahead to get some help.”
“Of course, but what can they do that you cannot? He does not want assistance.”
Looking over his shoulder, Sheppard motioned for Teyla and Ford to join him. When they arrived he explained, “I want you to go ahead of us and open the Gate. Have them send Doctor Beckett. If anyone can get through to him, maybe Carson can.”
“Good thinking, Sir.”
Teyla nodded in agreement, “We will return as quickly as possible.”
They turned to leave when Ford stopped and held out McKay’s pack, not wanting the added burden. Teyla was hard enough to keep up with when he was on even ground, let alone carrying more weight. One of the closer warriors reached for it on his way by and with a small nod, took the pack without so much as a pause in his step. Ford shrugged and followed after Teyla as they half ran for the gate. John watched McKay closely and hoped that maybe Carson would be able to talk sense into him.
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson
Rating: R for language
Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 11
With the ropes cut, Rodney slumped into the arms of his teammates, unable to hold himself up against the onslaught of pain and the heaviness in his limbs. His arms felt like dead weight and flopped uselessly as he was lowered to the ground. Everything lost focus and voices blurred, all he could feel the agonizing pain in his back. If that wasn’t enough, the blood was returning to his arms and with it came the sharp pins and needles of his circulation returning.
Curling inward, he tried to protect himself from the pain put nothing worked. It seemed to radiate from every nerve ending. Sweat covered, he blinked away the salty drips that ran into his eyes, stinging and adding to his tears. He didn’t want to cry, didn’t want anyone to see his weakness. Blindly pushing away the hands that tried to help, they became more forceful. With a quick move he shuffled away, but landing hard on his side, it jarred his ribs and back. Darkness swam up to meet him and he sank into oblivion.
John sat beside Rodney’s bed wiping his brow with a cool rag. The Kinoban’s had provided all that was needed to tend him, but it did little to negate the anger John was feeling as his eyes drifted over Rodney’s battered and bruised body. Even in sleep, his body twitched at John’s touch.
Pojan informed him that when Rodney woke they were free to leave. John had wanted to leave as soon as they’d cut him down, but there was no way he would make the long trip to the Stargate without some medical care, even that as primitive as the Kinoban’s. They had cleaned Rodney’s back and covered it in some sort of slimy substance meant to help with healing but judging from Rodney’s reaction, even unconscious, it was the same stuff they’d put on his hands earlier in the week. He’d thrashed and moaned as they smeared the foul smelling medicine on his back, but never woke. Now John sat beside him, doing what he could to make Rodney comfortable, but it all seemed too little too late and he only had himself to blame.
Leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, John scrubbed his hands through his hair. A hand dropped on his shoulder startling him. Turning his head, he looked up to find Teyla standing beside him. Her eyes were on Rodney, her concern unmistakable. “Pojan says that the medicine will help with the healing. He should be ready to travel when he awakes. A stretcher will be provided and they will help us to the Stargate.”
As she spoke, Rodney began to stir. His swollen hands twitched a few times, but after a few soft moans, they stilled again. The gentle easy breathing of sleep was replaced with an occasional hitch as the scientist began to awake. Lying on his stomach, Rodney’s eyes fluttered open but soon closed again.
Dropping to his knees beside the bed, John tried to coax him back. “Come on Rodney. The sooner you wake up the sooner we get to go home and get the hell out of here.”
Rodney grunted softly and opened his eyes again. Blinking several times to focus, he found himself with a face full of Major Sheppard, tight and weary under red rimmed eyes. There was also a sadness and underlying hurt in his eyes. No wonder, he’d had to sacrifice himself to Pojan’s men for the sake of a teammate. One he didn’t even like. But that was Major John Sheppard. Take one for the team and pretend it was all hunky dory. Well it wasn’t. It was all right there in his face, along with the pity. Pity for Rodney’s pathetic attempt at bravery. The Major didn’t even have enough faith in him to let him finish what they’d all started. He took away all he’d endured, made it meaningless and walked away the hero. And all Rodney felt was guilt. Lifting his head, he turned away, unwilling to face his shame, his resentment. He just wanted it to go away.
Nudging him gently, John persisted, his tone light, “Wake up, McKay. Pojan won’t let us go until he thinks you’re up to it, so open your eyes. We have your ride already to go. You can sleep all you want on the way back and enjoy the ride.”
Failing to see the humor in his present state, Rodney only heard the words. Jerking to a sitting position at the edge of the cot, he knocked Major Sheppard over in his haste. The effort left him gasping for air against the sudden pain. Reaching up to wipe his brow, his swollen hands stopped him. Grimacing, he moved them to his lap. Glancing at the forlorn faces of Sheppard, Ford and Teyla, he said firmly, “I can walk.” He was not going to be carried from this hellhole, not as long as he could still crawl.
“Don’t be so stubborn, McKay. You’re in no shape to walk that far. ” said Sheppard from his spot on the floor. Rising to his feet, he brushed the dirt off his hands as he spoke to Ford, “Go get Pojan. Tell him he’s awake.”
“Yes, sir.” Ford hurried off.
Moving closer to McKay, who was fumbling with his pack, John took it from him. “What are you looking for?”
Wrapping his arms around his bare torso, Rodney refused to look at him. “I want my shirt,” his voice was on the edge of pleading for it.
“Why? It’s not like you can wear it.” Even with the healing and numbing properties of the Kinoban medicine, there was no way Rodney would be able to stand wearing a shirt. Pojan wanted to apply another round of medicine before they left, to further aid in healing. Remembering Rodney’s reaction to the first application, John winced at the thought of applying it while he was awake. Only Pojan’s insistence that it would help prevent infection and greatly speed healing did he consent to more of the treatment when Rodney woke.
Dejected, Rodney pushed himself to his feet. “Fine.” Staggering under his own weight, he reached out instinctively for balance. John grabbed for him, steadying him as Teyla rushed into help. Sheppard’s concern was confusing him and Rodney shrugged from his grasp. He just wanted to get away, bury it all somewhere, all his flaws, guilt and shame that taunted him every time he looked at them. Their hands no longer restraining him, Rodney walked towards the door, intent on going home. He didn’t care if any one followed or not. Fumbling with the tent flap, it was pulled from his grasp and he came face to face with Pojan and Lieutenant Ford, “Hey Doc. Where you headed?”
Red-faced and sweating heavily, he ignored Ford and side-stepped around them only to be grabbed from behind. The firm grip on his arm pulled him back, turning him to face Sheppard again. Jerking his arm from John’s grasp, he stumbled back to his cot and sat down. He ducked his head, refusing to look at any of them, “I just want to leave.”
Pojan approached, “Soon, Doctor McKay. First I would like to tend to your back. Another application will ensure it does not become infected.”
Rodney’s head shot up, panic in his eyes. “No!” Pojan held the bowl of medicine, poised to apply it. Rodney pushed it away and nervously scooted further from the old man. “You are not putting that shit on me.”
Remaining calm, Pojan spoke reassuringly, “It will greatly reduce the healing time as well. Please, Doctor. I mean you no harm.”
Those words sparked fire in Rodney and he spat, “No harm? All you’ve done and you have the nerve to say, ‘no harm’.” His anger rose and he said vehemently, his voice rising, “First you make me submit to your bullshit training in the name of team improvement. When that’s not enough you threaten me with their lives. Oh but let’s not stop there. Let’s not forget what you did to Major Sheppard.” Rodney was shaking, suddenly aware of what he’d said and he risked a glance at John. Wide-eyed shock was staring back at him.
Rodney closed his eyes, ashamed of himself for reminding John of earlier events. His shoulders slumped as his chin dropped to his chest. He muttered softly, “I’m sorry.”
Frowning, John glanced around the room at the puzzled looks on everyone’s faces and then back at McKay’s dejected form. His eyes widened even further when he realized no one had told Rodney that nothing more had happened after he’d been cut down. He’d been agonizing over something that never happened.
Muttering to himself about his own stupidity, he rubbed the back of his neck as he sat down next to McKay, his voice breaking the uncomfortable silence in the room, “Nothing happened. I’m fine. They didn’t touch me.”
Lifting his head, Rodney stared at him, disbelieving. “Huh?”
Pojan chimed in, “He is correct. We did nothing to harm him.”
Confused, Rodney tried to focus on this latest information. It was all a ruse, another of Pojan’s games. None of it made sense, it all seemed so pointless. Why make him endure the beating if there was no follow through. They’d let Sheppard steal his dignity with his selfless act, making all his suffering meaningless. He looked sharply at the Major and frowned. Why did he look so damn sad if nothing had happened? Without thinking he blurted out, “But you look…” He paused, unsure what to say or how to explain what he was seeing.
John put a hand on Rodney’s shoulder, mindful of his injuries. Rodney flinched at the contact but didn’t pull away. “I look…, what?”
Rodney’s hands fluttered at John, as he stammered, “You…you look…upset. You look tired.” His voice dropped and he hesitated, almost embarrassed to say the words, “You look like miserable. Why, if they didn’t hurt you?”
The innocent question gave John pause and even hurt a bit. Rodney had no idea that his teammates were concerned for him, not someone else. They had given him enough self doubt that it was inconceivable to the scientist that they might actually care. A lump formed in his throat. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he couldn’t look Rodney in the eye as he answered sadly, “I was worried for you, Rodney. Not for me.”
His mouth gaping open, Rodney stared at him, “Why would you even care?”
John stared back, speechless. He knew he should say something…anything…but there was no way to describe how much he did care and how wrong he’d been. How stupid and selfish he’d been. Pojan took advantage of the awkward moment and interrupted, “If you will lie down, I will do your back, Doctor McKay.”
Hurt further by John’s lack of response, Rodney withdrew and let himself be helped back down on the bed. He wasn’t expecting the medicine until Pojan touched his back and he willed himself to relax even as the sting began. A sheen of perspiration covered him as the burn intensified. As if the pain in his back wasn’t enough, Pojan applied the foul stuff to his hands. There was no recourse, no escape and he lay on the cot trembling, his eyes closed tightly against the stinging pain.
Pojan moved to wipe his face but John beat him to it. Sitting on the edge of the cot, he carefully wiped Rodney’s face and arms to keep him cool as the medicine worked. The Kinoban leader left only to return a few minutes later with two packages. Teyla and Ford eyed him curiously as he handed them one of them, “Please place that in Doctor McKay’s pack. He will know what to do with it when he discovers it.”
Teyla nodded, taking the offered package and putting it away in McKay’s pack. Ford’s eyes followed, his curiosity getting the better of him as he signaled her with a raised eyebrow. She shrugged in response, no wiser to the contents than he was. Pojan took the remaining package to where Major Sheppard and Doctor McKay were. Unwrapping it carefully, he revealed a small ornately carved box. Without opening it, he set in on the bed beside Rodney’s head so that he wouldn’t have to move to see it. Rodney’s eyes opened, revealing the pain behind them as he stared unblinking at the object on the bed.
For the first time since meeting the Kinoban leader, Pojan appeared hesitant to speak, uncomfortable even. “This does not come from me but rather is a gift from the warriors of my people.” Glancing meekly at his visitors, he continued. “Sometimes…among the warriors there is one who stands above the others, someone that displays honor, integrity, strength and courage. All of these things that cannot be measured by the skills they possess in the field but exist within a person nonetheless.”
Pojan’s eyes drifted to where Rodney lay on the bed and he continued absently, “This is not something they bestow lightly on one of their own. It is considered a great honor among them and they have asked that I present this gift to you, Doctor McKay.” He dropped his head, adding humbly, “They saw within you something I and the other elders did not. We misjudged you and your team. We have no right to ask forgiveness, but we would like you to know that what my warriors saw within you, so now do your teammates.” He bowed his head respectfully and turned to leave. “When you are ready, we will escort you to the Stargate.”
The silence in the small room was palpable and they watched as Rodney unexpectedly reached out and covered the box with his hand. His face hardened and he angrily swept the box off the cot. Ignoring their shocked expressions, he lifted his head and turned it away, without a word to any of them.
Major Sheppard eased himself away from the cot and retrieved the box, taking a moment to open it. Inside was a thick circular medallion of some sort of metal that seemed to change colors as the light hit it. It was nestled in a carved inlay, holding it securely in place. It was simple in its design and only four delicate symbols graced the surface. The symbols alone had a beauty to them that might have been lost in any other design. Replacing the lid, he handed it to Teyla and motioned towards McKay’s pack. He spoke to her quietly, “Maybe he’ll want it later.”
Teyla nodded solemnly and placed the box with the previous package. They waited in silence, glancing occasionally towards Doctor McKay as he rested on the cot. Less than an hour later, he sat up wearily, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his good hand, his other hand aching because of his wrist. Even the Kinoban’s voodoo medicine hadn’t alleviated the throbbing from the damaged joint, although he had to admit that his back was numb to the point that he felt nothing. Holding his wrist close to his chest, he ventured a look around the room and found the anxious faces of his teammates.
Teammates, he thought… well that was certainly debatable after all that had transpired. While they might have learned something from Pojan’s warped games, Rodney wasn’t as easily swayed and his innate mistrust of people was firmly back in place. He could see the sadness in their eyes, perhaps even remorse, but he felt oddly detached from it. A week of sacrificing himself for them had only brought pain and a new understanding of those he’d considered his friends. Shifting on the bed, he reached for his jacket lying atop his pack, only to have it ripped from his hands. Looking up, he glared at the Major, “Give it back.”
“You can’t wear it. It’ll only make it worse,” said Sheppard harshly, holding the jacket just out of reach.
“Worse, Major? Worse than what?” He left it unanswered and held out his hand for the jacket, “I’m going to put my jacket on and I’m walking out of here.” When Sheppard hesitated, Rodney raised his voice angrily, “Give me the damn jacket!”
John only wanted to help but the man was being decidedly stubborn, unwilling to admit he was in no shape to make the journey back to the gate. Yet, refusing Rodney now would only make things worse between them and John reluctantly handed him his jacket, watching as he struggled to put it on. Rodney gave no indication that it hurt to wear, but John would have been surprised if he had. Except for the occasional twinge of pain, Rodney remained emotionless and only the cold hard look in his eyes gave anything away. He watched him stand, staggering slightly but regaining his balance quickly. Reaching for his pack, John snatched it away, handing it off to Ford without a word.
Even the effort of bending was taking its toll if the paleness in McKay’s face was any indication. He glared at Sheppard, then Ford hoping to intimidate at least one of them. When even Ford held firm, he huffed, “Fine.” Undeterred, he turned on his heel and exited the tent without looking back. The rest of them hurriedly gathered their gear and followed. Pojan and several Kinoban warriors were scrambling after the determined scientist, surprised by his sudden appearance and the fact that he was on his feet and walking. After several hundred yards, they managed to form a satisfactory honor guard for the departing visitors and settled into McKay’s pace.
McKay kept up for about a mile, but fatigue and injuries were catching up to him quickly. His gait became slower and his weariness sent him stumbling more than once. When at last he dropped to his knees, breathing harshly, Sheppard called a halt. He dropped on one knee beside him and said sympathetically, “Don’t do this Rodney. You’ve proven enough, you don’t have to do this. Let us help you.”
Without looking up, Rodney shook his head. “I’m fine.”
John reached out but Rodney forcibly pushed him away and got to his feet again. His pace was slower than before and John worried he would eventually collapse from exhaustion, or worse. The worse had him worried. McKay hadn’t eaten since the morning and it was already mid-afternoon. Just sitting with him, John could see the tiny tremors in his hands and the paleness in his face. They were still several miles from the gate. Adjusting his step he found Pojan and asked, “Is the Gate functioning?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I want to send Teyla and Ford ahead to get some help.”
“Of course, but what can they do that you cannot? He does not want assistance.”
Looking over his shoulder, Sheppard motioned for Teyla and Ford to join him. When they arrived he explained, “I want you to go ahead of us and open the Gate. Have them send Doctor Beckett. If anyone can get through to him, maybe Carson can.”
“Good thinking, Sir.”
Teyla nodded in agreement, “We will return as quickly as possible.”
They turned to leave when Ford stopped and held out McKay’s pack, not wanting the added burden. Teyla was hard enough to keep up with when he was on even ground, let alone carrying more weight. One of the closer warriors reached for it on his way by and with a small nod, took the pack without so much as a pause in his step. Ford shrugged and followed after Teyla as they half ran for the gate. John watched McKay closely and hoped that maybe Carson would be able to talk sense into him.
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And oh, broken Rodney. You write him so well too. Yes, get Carson. Then the pot-o-angst that's been simmering this whole fic will really boil over. *snickers*
Love this, and you. *huggles chaps* Post next bit soon.
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And, you're quite welcome for the support. You so deserve it, for writing this wonderful fic.
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