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Title: Unspoken Part 12
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson
Rating: R for language
Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 12
John walked beside McKay but kept his distance. Every time he’d ventured too close, Rodney had shot him a seething glare. John took the hint. He was disappointed, but really didn’t expect Rodney to grant him forgiveness. He was under no illusion that his friendship with McKay hadn’t been seriously damaged, perhaps irreparably. It would take time and patience on his part to get Rodney to trust him again, if ever. Now was not the time to make amends. If he ever wanted a chance to prove himself he had to accept Rodney’s terms for the time being. If that meant letting him walk to the gate under his own power, no matter how much it pained John to watch, then he’d do that. Any distress he suffered because of it was just part of his penance.
Unable to do anything but watch as McKay weaved his way down the path to the Stargate, he was never so glad to see Carson coming towards them. Breathless from trailing Teyla and Ford, Carson bent over to catch his breath before his eyes fell on Rodney and he hurried forward.
Rodney walked with his head down, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. The numbness in his back was wearing off and while it wasn’t as painful as earlier it still took all his focus not to dwell on it. He was surprised when hands grasped his arms, stopping his forward progress. Looking up, he found himself staring at Carson. Oh god, he was hallucinating. Blinking several times as he shook his head, the apparition remained. He dared to speak to it, “Carson?”
Cautiously lifting his hand to cradle the back of Carson’s neck, he felt solid skin beneath his hand. Releasing a sigh, he pulled him closer until their foreheads touched, “You’re real, right? I’m not creating you out of some delusional fantasy.”
Carson smiled faintly, “No, I’m real.”
Rodney clasped Carson tighter. It was that or cry, and he refused to do that. Not here, not in front of the others. His voice was tinged with bitterness as he asked, “So what brings you to this masochistic, warrior-infested world?”
Pulling back a bit, he looked Rodney up and down. Teyla and Ford had informed him what had happened and even why, albeit reluctantly, but it didn’t prepare him for seeing his lover so worn. Rodney was barely on his feet, his skin cold and clammy and the tremor in his hands was a sure sign he was on the verge of collapse. Ignoring Rodney’s question, he grasped his arm lightly. “Why don’t you rest for a bit, let me take a look at you?”
Rodney shook his head, “No.”
“Please, Rodney.”
In a tired voice, Rodney leaned closer to Carson as he answered, “I can’t. If I sit down I’m afraid I won’t get back up.”
“Would that be so bad? You’re not looking so good, luv.”
Grasping Carson’s jacket, his eyes pleaded as he spoke in a hushed voice only the Doctor could hear, “I have to do this, Carson. Please.” Carson felt the rage inside him build at Rodney’s condition and the entire situation as explained by Teyla and Ford. The fact that Rodney was the only one hurt in the whole fiasco made him even angrier and he wasn’t too sure he’d be able to hold it all in this time.
The look in Rodney’s eyes and the desperate grip on his jacket were enough and Carson nodded slowly, keeping the fury out of his voice, “I’ll help you up again. Just let me take a look at you.”
Trusting Carson, Rodney nodded and let him help him into the shade. He sat down gingerly, one shoulder against the tree for support. Carson removed his pack and quickly went to work checking Rodney’s vitals. His paleness had Carson concerned and he reached for the chocolate he’d packed. Pulling it out, he handed it to Rodney but seeing him fumble with the wrapper, took it back and opened it for him. Rodney sighed as the sweet confection worked its way through his system. “When did you eat last? You’re looking a wee bit thinner than the last time I saw you.”
“No snacking between meals at this paradise resort. Great exercise plan though. Guaranteed to knock off those hard to lose pounds,” snorted Rodney. Seeing Carson’s impatience, he waved his hand in the air as he answered, “Yesterday. Last night. Do you have more chocolate?”
Opening another candy bar with his teeth, Carson handed it to Rodney, who ate it as quickly as the first. “Water?”
“Aye. Here,” said Carson, handing him his canteen. Rodney grasped it with his good hand but he was shaking too much and Carson covered his hand, steadying it enough so he could drink. Noticing the way Rodney held his other arm, he asked, “What’s wrong with your arm?”
“Wrist.”
Carson rolled his eyes, “Alright, wrist. Don’t be a smartass.” Removing an elastic bandage, he wrapped the injured wrist, hoping to stabilize it some until they could get home and he could take x-rays. Rodney was growing more irritable with each passing moment, the poking and prodding bringing more pain. His eyes were bright and glassy and there was no mistaking his discomfort.
He snapped at Carson, “Can we just get to the part where you give me some good drugs?”
Rodney flinched when his jacket was unzipped, but was too tired to resist. Carson pursed his lips tightly at the ugly bruising under the jacket. His hands shaking as he pushed it open more, revealing much the same along his ribcage and fearing what his back looked like. “Bloody hell, Rodney. What did they do to ya?”
As he reached to remove the jacket, Rodney grabbed his wrist, stopping him. He shook his head, “Don’t. Not here.”
“I need to look at it.”
“No you don’t. Please Carson. There’s nothing you can do. I just want to go home. Give me something to take the edge off and you can do whatever you want when we get home,” pleaded Rodney, his eyes never leaving Carson’s.
The look in Rodney’s eyes and the grimaces as he let the jacket settle tore at Carson. It killed him to see his lover suffer so. Reaching into his kit, he found some painkillers that would do as Rodney asked and still allow him to function. Ideally, Rodney needed an IV with fluids to combat his low blood sugar and dehydration, but short of tying him down, Carson didn’t think that was going to happen. Whatever had taken place the past five days had gotten in Rodney’s craw and he was going to walk to the gate or die trying.
Handing the pills over, he helped him with a drink to wash them down. Rodney swallowed and slumped into the tree, closing his eyes as he waited for the pills to take hold. Dropping a gentle hand on Rodney’s shoulder, Carson jerked it away when it brought a hiss from Rodney as he ducked away from the contact. The doctor in him wanted to see the damage, but the lover in his resisting, know how much it would hurt to see it. Teyla had told him what had happened and he’d felt like throwing up as she described some of what Rodney had suffered at the hands of the Kinoban.
Sitting beside Rodney, Carson carefully slipped a hand in his where it rested between them, hidden from the others. He wanted nothing more than to embrace Rodney and make it all go away, but that would have to wait until they had some privacy. Until then he had to content himself with the slight squeeze Rodney gave his hand and the warmth that passed between them.
Rodney sat for a few more minutes before removing his hand from Carson’s to get to his feet. He’d been right about one thing, he’d never have made it back to his feet without help. Even with help, it was a painful thing to watch. Carson didn’t miss the guilty faces of all those around him or the way Major Sheppard ducked his head when their eyes met. If he hadn’t been holding Rodney to keep him from falling, he wouldn’t have thought twice about venting some of his anger towards the man. As it was, he held on until Rodney was steady and only then did he reluctantly release his hold on him.
It was a long mile, for Rodney, for Carson and for all those watching him stumble and stagger. Torn between being his doctor or his lover, Carson stayed as close as Rodney would allow, which was just shy of touching shoulders. The doctor in him wanted to call a halt to Rodney’s stubborn pride, but the other side of him couldn’t have been prouder of what his lover was doing and why. They had beaten him down, and this was Rodney’s way of regaining some of what he’d lost, at least in his own mind. Carson figured the others had a totally new understanding one Doctor Rodney McKay. It came with the bittersweet knowledge that it had always been there, but those he trusted most had been blind to the man he really was. Teyla and Ford had admitted as much earlier, but he’d yet to hear a word from Sheppard. The major wisely kept his distance, staying several meters behind him and Rodney.
Sprinting ahead, Ford opened the gate and waited for the rest of the party to arrive. Teyla joined him and the two of them watched the others approach. From the dais upon which the Stargate sat, it was a sad procession. McKay and the doctor walked shoulder to shoulder, Beckett ready to steady him at a moments notice. Around them were six warriors. Behind them walked Pojan and Major Sheppard, neither man speaking.
Without a word to any of them, Rodney and Carson mounted the stairs. Without so much as a backward glance, they disappeared through the Stargate. Major Sheppard stopped at the bottom and turned to face Pojan, but he had no idea what to say. He felt empty inside, like he was leaving something behind, something he might never get back.
Sensing the sadness, Pojan spoke, “I am truly sorry for all that has transpired here. Never before have we so misjudged a visitor.”
“Little late to find that out now, don’t you think?” said Sheppard, bitterly.
“In your particular case, perhaps. For those who come later, no. After much deliberation we have decided to open our training fields to anyone who wishes to improve on their skills. We will no longer search the minds of our visitors or place conditions upon them, but rather we will work with them in whatever way we can. So you and your team have done us a service and made us see that even what appears to be true isn’t always the truth.”
Pojan motioned towards the stairs where Rodney’s pack and a couple other items had been placed. “That is the power source that Doctor McKay retrieved. It is his. We have also provided you with the medicine we used. Teyla suggested that your people may be able to use it and perhaps even improve on it. If your doctor will allow it, I would suggest another treatment for Doctor McKay. It will help with the healing. We have little else to offer other than our sincerest apologies. If you should ever decide to return you would be welcome.” Pojan bowed his head solemnly.
Teyla grabbed the pack and the medicine while Ford hefted the heavy box. Sheppard nodded to them both as they passed through the event horizon. He then turned back to Pojan. “I know what you were trying to do. I have to admit I did learn some things about myself, but that doesn’t mean I agree with how you did it. You messed with four people’s lives here, thinking you knew best. No one has that right, nor should they have that power. I only hope you can live with what you’ve done, because I’m not so sure I can.” With that, he turned and left Kinoban.
He arrived in Atlantis just as Rodney was being transported to the infirmary, already hooked up to an IV and sleeping soundly. Carson caught a glimpse of Sheppard as he arrived and spoke to another doctor, “I’ll be right there.” He waited long enough for them to leave then strode over to where John was standing.
Maybe if he’d thought about it, he might have seen it coming, but he’d never seen the good doctor with that look in his eye. Maybe it was surprise that Beckett could manhandle him back into the wall so easily or the speed with which he delivered the punch, but he didn’t react. Not even when he slid down the wall trying to breathe through the pain. He was gasping for air, stunned by the power that Carson delivered to his midsection. The doctor never said a word, just turned and followed after his people.
Elizabeth rushed to his side as she called out to Doctor Beckett. Red-faced and gasping for air, John reached out to stop her as shook his head, “No… I …had that… coming.”
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson
Rating: R for language
Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 12
John walked beside McKay but kept his distance. Every time he’d ventured too close, Rodney had shot him a seething glare. John took the hint. He was disappointed, but really didn’t expect Rodney to grant him forgiveness. He was under no illusion that his friendship with McKay hadn’t been seriously damaged, perhaps irreparably. It would take time and patience on his part to get Rodney to trust him again, if ever. Now was not the time to make amends. If he ever wanted a chance to prove himself he had to accept Rodney’s terms for the time being. If that meant letting him walk to the gate under his own power, no matter how much it pained John to watch, then he’d do that. Any distress he suffered because of it was just part of his penance.
Unable to do anything but watch as McKay weaved his way down the path to the Stargate, he was never so glad to see Carson coming towards them. Breathless from trailing Teyla and Ford, Carson bent over to catch his breath before his eyes fell on Rodney and he hurried forward.
Rodney walked with his head down, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. The numbness in his back was wearing off and while it wasn’t as painful as earlier it still took all his focus not to dwell on it. He was surprised when hands grasped his arms, stopping his forward progress. Looking up, he found himself staring at Carson. Oh god, he was hallucinating. Blinking several times as he shook his head, the apparition remained. He dared to speak to it, “Carson?”
Cautiously lifting his hand to cradle the back of Carson’s neck, he felt solid skin beneath his hand. Releasing a sigh, he pulled him closer until their foreheads touched, “You’re real, right? I’m not creating you out of some delusional fantasy.”
Carson smiled faintly, “No, I’m real.”
Rodney clasped Carson tighter. It was that or cry, and he refused to do that. Not here, not in front of the others. His voice was tinged with bitterness as he asked, “So what brings you to this masochistic, warrior-infested world?”
Pulling back a bit, he looked Rodney up and down. Teyla and Ford had informed him what had happened and even why, albeit reluctantly, but it didn’t prepare him for seeing his lover so worn. Rodney was barely on his feet, his skin cold and clammy and the tremor in his hands was a sure sign he was on the verge of collapse. Ignoring Rodney’s question, he grasped his arm lightly. “Why don’t you rest for a bit, let me take a look at you?”
Rodney shook his head, “No.”
“Please, Rodney.”
In a tired voice, Rodney leaned closer to Carson as he answered, “I can’t. If I sit down I’m afraid I won’t get back up.”
“Would that be so bad? You’re not looking so good, luv.”
Grasping Carson’s jacket, his eyes pleaded as he spoke in a hushed voice only the Doctor could hear, “I have to do this, Carson. Please.” Carson felt the rage inside him build at Rodney’s condition and the entire situation as explained by Teyla and Ford. The fact that Rodney was the only one hurt in the whole fiasco made him even angrier and he wasn’t too sure he’d be able to hold it all in this time.
The look in Rodney’s eyes and the desperate grip on his jacket were enough and Carson nodded slowly, keeping the fury out of his voice, “I’ll help you up again. Just let me take a look at you.”
Trusting Carson, Rodney nodded and let him help him into the shade. He sat down gingerly, one shoulder against the tree for support. Carson removed his pack and quickly went to work checking Rodney’s vitals. His paleness had Carson concerned and he reached for the chocolate he’d packed. Pulling it out, he handed it to Rodney but seeing him fumble with the wrapper, took it back and opened it for him. Rodney sighed as the sweet confection worked its way through his system. “When did you eat last? You’re looking a wee bit thinner than the last time I saw you.”
“No snacking between meals at this paradise resort. Great exercise plan though. Guaranteed to knock off those hard to lose pounds,” snorted Rodney. Seeing Carson’s impatience, he waved his hand in the air as he answered, “Yesterday. Last night. Do you have more chocolate?”
Opening another candy bar with his teeth, Carson handed it to Rodney, who ate it as quickly as the first. “Water?”
“Aye. Here,” said Carson, handing him his canteen. Rodney grasped it with his good hand but he was shaking too much and Carson covered his hand, steadying it enough so he could drink. Noticing the way Rodney held his other arm, he asked, “What’s wrong with your arm?”
“Wrist.”
Carson rolled his eyes, “Alright, wrist. Don’t be a smartass.” Removing an elastic bandage, he wrapped the injured wrist, hoping to stabilize it some until they could get home and he could take x-rays. Rodney was growing more irritable with each passing moment, the poking and prodding bringing more pain. His eyes were bright and glassy and there was no mistaking his discomfort.
He snapped at Carson, “Can we just get to the part where you give me some good drugs?”
Rodney flinched when his jacket was unzipped, but was too tired to resist. Carson pursed his lips tightly at the ugly bruising under the jacket. His hands shaking as he pushed it open more, revealing much the same along his ribcage and fearing what his back looked like. “Bloody hell, Rodney. What did they do to ya?”
As he reached to remove the jacket, Rodney grabbed his wrist, stopping him. He shook his head, “Don’t. Not here.”
“I need to look at it.”
“No you don’t. Please Carson. There’s nothing you can do. I just want to go home. Give me something to take the edge off and you can do whatever you want when we get home,” pleaded Rodney, his eyes never leaving Carson’s.
The look in Rodney’s eyes and the grimaces as he let the jacket settle tore at Carson. It killed him to see his lover suffer so. Reaching into his kit, he found some painkillers that would do as Rodney asked and still allow him to function. Ideally, Rodney needed an IV with fluids to combat his low blood sugar and dehydration, but short of tying him down, Carson didn’t think that was going to happen. Whatever had taken place the past five days had gotten in Rodney’s craw and he was going to walk to the gate or die trying.
Handing the pills over, he helped him with a drink to wash them down. Rodney swallowed and slumped into the tree, closing his eyes as he waited for the pills to take hold. Dropping a gentle hand on Rodney’s shoulder, Carson jerked it away when it brought a hiss from Rodney as he ducked away from the contact. The doctor in him wanted to see the damage, but the lover in his resisting, know how much it would hurt to see it. Teyla had told him what had happened and he’d felt like throwing up as she described some of what Rodney had suffered at the hands of the Kinoban.
Sitting beside Rodney, Carson carefully slipped a hand in his where it rested between them, hidden from the others. He wanted nothing more than to embrace Rodney and make it all go away, but that would have to wait until they had some privacy. Until then he had to content himself with the slight squeeze Rodney gave his hand and the warmth that passed between them.
Rodney sat for a few more minutes before removing his hand from Carson’s to get to his feet. He’d been right about one thing, he’d never have made it back to his feet without help. Even with help, it was a painful thing to watch. Carson didn’t miss the guilty faces of all those around him or the way Major Sheppard ducked his head when their eyes met. If he hadn’t been holding Rodney to keep him from falling, he wouldn’t have thought twice about venting some of his anger towards the man. As it was, he held on until Rodney was steady and only then did he reluctantly release his hold on him.
It was a long mile, for Rodney, for Carson and for all those watching him stumble and stagger. Torn between being his doctor or his lover, Carson stayed as close as Rodney would allow, which was just shy of touching shoulders. The doctor in him wanted to call a halt to Rodney’s stubborn pride, but the other side of him couldn’t have been prouder of what his lover was doing and why. They had beaten him down, and this was Rodney’s way of regaining some of what he’d lost, at least in his own mind. Carson figured the others had a totally new understanding one Doctor Rodney McKay. It came with the bittersweet knowledge that it had always been there, but those he trusted most had been blind to the man he really was. Teyla and Ford had admitted as much earlier, but he’d yet to hear a word from Sheppard. The major wisely kept his distance, staying several meters behind him and Rodney.
Sprinting ahead, Ford opened the gate and waited for the rest of the party to arrive. Teyla joined him and the two of them watched the others approach. From the dais upon which the Stargate sat, it was a sad procession. McKay and the doctor walked shoulder to shoulder, Beckett ready to steady him at a moments notice. Around them were six warriors. Behind them walked Pojan and Major Sheppard, neither man speaking.
Without a word to any of them, Rodney and Carson mounted the stairs. Without so much as a backward glance, they disappeared through the Stargate. Major Sheppard stopped at the bottom and turned to face Pojan, but he had no idea what to say. He felt empty inside, like he was leaving something behind, something he might never get back.
Sensing the sadness, Pojan spoke, “I am truly sorry for all that has transpired here. Never before have we so misjudged a visitor.”
“Little late to find that out now, don’t you think?” said Sheppard, bitterly.
“In your particular case, perhaps. For those who come later, no. After much deliberation we have decided to open our training fields to anyone who wishes to improve on their skills. We will no longer search the minds of our visitors or place conditions upon them, but rather we will work with them in whatever way we can. So you and your team have done us a service and made us see that even what appears to be true isn’t always the truth.”
Pojan motioned towards the stairs where Rodney’s pack and a couple other items had been placed. “That is the power source that Doctor McKay retrieved. It is his. We have also provided you with the medicine we used. Teyla suggested that your people may be able to use it and perhaps even improve on it. If your doctor will allow it, I would suggest another treatment for Doctor McKay. It will help with the healing. We have little else to offer other than our sincerest apologies. If you should ever decide to return you would be welcome.” Pojan bowed his head solemnly.
Teyla grabbed the pack and the medicine while Ford hefted the heavy box. Sheppard nodded to them both as they passed through the event horizon. He then turned back to Pojan. “I know what you were trying to do. I have to admit I did learn some things about myself, but that doesn’t mean I agree with how you did it. You messed with four people’s lives here, thinking you knew best. No one has that right, nor should they have that power. I only hope you can live with what you’ve done, because I’m not so sure I can.” With that, he turned and left Kinoban.
He arrived in Atlantis just as Rodney was being transported to the infirmary, already hooked up to an IV and sleeping soundly. Carson caught a glimpse of Sheppard as he arrived and spoke to another doctor, “I’ll be right there.” He waited long enough for them to leave then strode over to where John was standing.
Maybe if he’d thought about it, he might have seen it coming, but he’d never seen the good doctor with that look in his eye. Maybe it was surprise that Beckett could manhandle him back into the wall so easily or the speed with which he delivered the punch, but he didn’t react. Not even when he slid down the wall trying to breathe through the pain. He was gasping for air, stunned by the power that Carson delivered to his midsection. The doctor never said a word, just turned and followed after his people.
Elizabeth rushed to his side as she called out to Doctor Beckett. Red-faced and gasping for air, John reached out to stop her as shook his head, “No… I …had that… coming.”
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And John's last line? *wibble* I want to feel bad for him, but he deserved it. If anyone ever did to one of my loved ones, there wouldn't be enough pieces left to fit in a match box.
So need to finish this. Can't just leave Rodney dented like that (cause he's not broken). And you need to fix them. Have to.
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