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For all Eternity
Part 7
Time passed and Jarrod and Heath lived with the secret of their love. One particular Christmas, Jarrod presented Heath with a pocket watch inscribed with the words ‘Forever Heath’. Heath had to blink back tears as he read the inscription and when he glanced at Jarrod, he saw him briefly close his eyes and nod in affirmation of the words. Heath ducked his head and ran his finger over the precious words. The watch never left his possession and he carried it with him always. Heath privately presented Jarrod with a small gold medallion inscribed with his own sentiments. Jarrod refused to tell anyone from whom it came, but he would often be seen rubbing it unconsciously between his fingers when he was troubled or melancholy.
They lived for time together and looked forward to their trips to the lodge. The one place they could let loose of all inhibitions and show their love freely without the fear of someone seeing or hearing them. The third year of their annual visits would forever be remembered as the turning point in all they had become or ever would be.
It was their last day and Heath was determined to make it memorable for Jarrod. Dressed in just his chaps, he sat on the bed and waited on Jarrod to finish his morning bath. They’d learned long ago that shared baths accomplished nothing more than to make a bigger mess so they reluctantly admitted that it was better to go solo. When Jarrod walked in and found Heath sitting on the bed stroking his thick shaft, wearing just the chaps his knees threatened to buckle. Jarrod stumbled to the bed, his own erection already throbbing to life and Heath put up a hand to stop his advance.
He pointed to the opposite end of the bed and insisted, “Sit. No touching.” He gave him his trademark grin, “You get to watch.”
Jarrod sat at the end of the bed and leaned back with his legs stretched out in front of him and a raging hard-on between his legs. The chaps alone were enough to make him hard, but to play this particular game would be near impossible. His voice stammered as he spoke, “I don’t think I can do this Heath.”
Heath let the leather on his leg rub against Jarrod’s calf and watched his brother start sweating. Little beads of sweat formed and trickled down Jarrod’s face and chest, making Heath’s member twitch in his hand. Jarrod’s breathing was fast and he tried to take deep breaths as Heath took some oil and drizzled it on his hot flesh. “Just watch and enjoy...I promise it won’t take long.”
Jarrod nodded and he slunk down on the bed, his shoulders pressing hard into the end board. Lifting his knees, he spread his legs wide so he had a clear field of view. Heath tilted his head back and closed his eyes as he let the oil cover his shaft with each slow agonizing stroke. Already he could feel Jarrod moving restlessly on the bed and he knew if he opened his eyes he would be hard pressed to prolong his rising desire.
Gripping the bed rail above him, Jarrod’s knuckles were white as he strained to keep his hands from wandering to his pulsing and needy flesh. Heath’s hand pumped his erection and Jarrod’s breathing grew labored as Heath’s strokes grew harder and faster. He writhed on the bed but his eyes never strayed from Heath’s burgeoning length. Jarrod was trembling and his heart beat loudly in his chest, each beat sending a surge of blood into his painfully erect shaft. His muscles began their tell tale twitching and his balls drew up tightly and he begged Heath, “Hurts...oh god...it hurts!”
He was caught in the familiar limbo and Heath opened his eyes and pumped faster, not wanting to prolong Jarrod’s agony. It was fun and exciting to a point, but Jarrod was truly in pain and needed release. Heath had learned that when Jarrod told him it hurt it was time to end his teasing. One look at Jarrod’s jutting purple hardness and the frantic look in his eyes was enough to send him over the edge and he thrust upward, spewing his seed all over Jarrod’s legs and stomach. To Jarrod it felt like fire and his balls clenched even tighter and he lost the ability to even breath for a second. Heath shook himself from his ecstasy to take care of Jarrod who was shaking almost violently with need. He moved closer, settling between Jarrod’s legs, letting his leather clad legs brush his thighs. Jarrod jerked and his hips thrust upward straining for contact. His eyes pleaded with Heath, and they darkened with a rush of desire as he saw Heath’s hand reach for his aching flesh. His hips pumped uncontrollably waiting for the hand to enclose him. He was never prepared for the intensity of his impending climax when Heath finally touched his burning flesh. He screamed. He always screamed when they played this game. He couldn’t help it. His balls felt as though they were being ripped away from his body and his shaft never felt big enough for the force exerted to release the fluid that had built up awaiting his release. Tears fell and still he screamed, his ejaculate exploding upwards in stream after powerful stream, covering both of them with the milky white substance.
Heath’s hand suddenly stilled and a look of shock crossed his face. Jarrod could see something was wrong, but his body wasn’t done and he thrust sharply upward desperate to finish what they’d started. Only when his body slumped to the bed did his screams die away to a whimper. Jarrod weakly turned his head to where Heath was looking and he too was horrified by what he saw. Both men were stunned and speechless as they watched Nick bolt from the doorway looking very, very sick.
Jarrod couldn’t move, his body still shuddering from his release. Heath wanted to go to Nick but he couldn’t leave Jarrod, not like this. Heath moved in and held his lover, while he shivered and shook in his arms. It was a bittersweet pleasure for both of them as they contemplated facing Nick’s wrath. Heath whispered gently to Jarrod and wiped away his tears. Jarrod tried to sit up forcing himself to forget what they’d just shared in his attempt to get to Nick. Heath knew that Jarrod was physically and emotionally exhausted and moving was always a struggle after their little game. He didn’t try to stop Jarrod, instead he grabbed clothes for both of them and helped Jarrod dress. Jarrod’s hands shook and Heath did most of the dressing. They both managed to get into pants and shirts, neither bothering to button up the shirt. What was the point. Nick saw everything and dressing neatly now, seemed immaterial.
Jarrod slipped on his boots and spoke softly to Heath in a still shaky voice, “Stay here for a bit...Let me talk to him first.” Heath nodded. He was devastated by Nick’s appearance and his sickened look. He looked up to and idolized his older brother and to see such disgust in his eyes hurt Heath more than he ever would have thought possible. Jarrod lifted his chin and said tenderly, “It’ll be okay.” Jarrod cupped his face and Heath leaned into Jarrod’s touch as tears fell. He thumbed away the moisture and kissed him, “I promise.” Heath nodded and sat dejected on the bed as Jarrod fought back his fatigue and went in search of Nick.
Jarrod walked through the house, not seeing Nick and then he heard the awful sound of retching outside. He took a moment to smooth back his hair, and wipe his sticky chest off before descending the steps. Nick was sitting on his haunches, his hands on his thighs, dry heaving in the bushes. The older brother in Jarrod was immediately concerned and he dropped a comforting hand on Nick’s shoulder.
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” yelled Nick and he swung around and backhanded Jarrod to the face with enough force to throw him back several feet, dazed and bleeding from his mouth. Jarrod had no time to recover before Nick head butted him in the stomach knocking all the air from his lungs. Doubled over and gasping for air, Jarrod couldn’t block the punishing blows that Nick was inflicting on him. His ribs, his stomach and his face were pummeled and he took each one as punishment for his evil deeds, never raising a hand to stop Nick’s rage.
He lay in a heap struggling to breath when Heath bolted from the house and pulled Nick off of him, “NICK! STOP! HE AIN’T FIGHTIN’ YA!!!!”
Nick wasn’t hearing, aware of nothing but the pain in his heart. When Heath grabbed him away from Jarrod, Nick was so pumped with adrenalin, that when he hit his younger brother with a two handed fist, Heath’s head snapped back and he was catapulted into the water trough three feet away. His head hit with a sickening thud and he collapsed in a boneless heap, unmoving. Jarrod watched, horrified when Heath didn’t move. He half stumbled, half crawled, ignoring his own injuries in an effort to get Heath. Nick stood in shock at what had happened, but when he saw Jarrod reaching out for Heath, he reacted.
Grasping Jarrod’s shirt, he literally threw him away from Heath as he snarled, “You stay away from him you son-of-bitch. Keep your filthy hands off him.” Nick tenderly checked Heath’s head for injuries, and when his trembling hand came away covered in Heath’s blood he gasped at the sight.
Jarrod saw it too and he cried out, “Heath!” He scrambled in the dirt to get to him, but Nick wouldn’t let him close, pushing him back roughly at every attempt. Tears rolled down his bruised and battered face and he pleaded with Nick in short, ragged breaths, “Please Nick... let me help him.”
Nick held Heath close and screamed at Jarrod, “This is your fault. You’re sick Jarrod! A goddamn perversion. That’s what it is. He’s your brother for Christ sake. You couldn’t leave him alone could ya.”
Jarrod sat staring at Nick in shock and Nick shook his head in disgust. “I knew you tried it when you were younger. I thought you’d given up on it, but you had to go and drag him into your sick little world. God! Your own brother.”
Inching closer as Nick yelled, Jarrod finally reached forward to touch Heath as uttered, “He wasn’t my brother when we met.”
Nick glared at him with a fury that even Jarrod feared, and he shifted away from Nick’s reach. Not quick enough, Nick grabbed the medallion that always hung around Jarrod’s neck and pulled on it fiercely, choking Jarrod and tearing the skin beneath it. Jarrod’s hands fought blindly against the thin metal squeezing his life away as Nick pulled him closer and snarled, “Stay away from him Jarrod. You show your face on the ranch again and I’ll tell Mother, I swear to god.”
Jarrod was turning purple and his eyes started to roll back when Nick finally released his hold on him. Falling forward, he tried to get air to his oxygen starved lungs. His damaged ribs fought against his need for deep breaths and he felt his world begin to blur as he fell face first into the dirt, unconscious.
Nick bandaged Heath’s head wound and still he showed no signs of waking up. It took some time but he finally managed to get Heath up on Coco and he mounted behind him. With only a brief backward glance at Jarrod’s crumpled form in the dirt, he rode towards home.
*********
Jarrod woke several hours later in a haze of pain. The sun was beating down on his exposed skin, making him sweaty and hot. As he slowly opened his eyes, the bright light burned his aching head and he swallowed back the bile that threatened to rise from his unsettled stomach. It was painful to swallow and he couldn’t understand why until his hand touched his swollen neck and he remembered how he’d gotten where he was. His concern for Heath overruled his own injuries and hurried to get to his feet. His world turned upside down in a blinding flash of pain and dizziness and he dropped to his knees as he lost the contents of his stomach. When there was nothing left to give, his body was attacked with dry heaves. His damaged ribs screamed with every convulsive shudder and he wrapped his arms around them to stop the agonizing movements.
Exhausted and hurting, he slumped against the water trough and his eyes dropped to the dark patch in the dirt. Blood...Heath’s blood. Nick had taken Heath from him and left him without a second thought, knowing Jarrod would never follow. He couldn’t now. Nick had used the one thing that horrified Jarrod more than anything else. His mother finding out he was an abomination...a perversion of nature. He hated himself, hated what he had become, but he was no more able to stop it then he could stop the sun from rising. He’d tried over the years to do the proper thing, live the proper life, but he couldn’t stop the urges. Women were nice and he found a certain attraction in them, but it was men that excited him, made him hard. Heath is what he lived for and without him, he had nothing. His life became meaningless when Nick took him away. Perhaps Nick was right, maybe without him, Heath could have a real chance at a real life instead of being sucked into his sick, demented world.
Suddenly numb to everything including his own pain, he stumbled into the house and made his way to the bedroom. Crawling into bed, he curled up and retreated from all the pain and suffering he’d created.
************************
Part 8
It was two days before Heath finally came around and Nick never left his side. The doctor stitched up his head and concluded that Heath had a concussion that he may or may not wake from. Nick was beside himself with worry and he’d wired Mother in Denver to tell her she was needed at home. He hated to think what she’d say when she found out that he had been the cause of Heath’s injury. And Jarrod, he really could care less. He’d left him at the lodge, convinced that Heath was finally safe from his clutches. It never occurred to him that Heath was anything but an innocent victim. Heath, his partner and confidant, would never have drifted had it not been for Jarrod. Without Jarrod in the picture, Heath would be free again, no longer influenced by his older brother’s wicked ways. As far as his mother was concerned, they had gotten into a scuffle and Heath had gotten hurt. Jarrod was angry with them both and Nick didn’t know where he was. He knew Jarrod well enough to know he’d never set foot on the ranch again for fear of Mother discovering his dirty little secret.
Heath’s first day awake was blurry and fuzzy and he wasn’t aware of much more than Nick’s demands that he eat and get his strength up. Oblivious to much else, he drifted in and out of sleep. On the third day he awoke with a clear, but aching head and his heart raced with fear as he remembered what had happened. With no thought to anything but finding Jarrod, he eased himself to the edge of the bed. His body swayed for a brief moment, but began to clear itself of the dizziness so he stood up gingerly, wary of what would happen. He felt weak, but he could deal with it. Going to his dresser he pulled out clothes and carried them back to his bed where he could sit and get dressed. It was a slow process but his determination won out and he was ready to go.
He stood to go and was confronted by a very irate big brother, “Were the hell do you think you’re going?”
Heath stood eye to eye with Nick, “I have to find Jarrod.”
“He ain’t here and he ain’t comin’ back. You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”
Nick was totally unprepared for Heath’s reaction and he found himself being slammed up against the wall with Heath’s forearm in his throat. Heath’s eyes were dark and foreboding as he asked angrily, “What do you mean he ain’t comin’ back?”
Struggling to get free, Nick was helpless in Heath’s iron grip and he hissed, “I took care of him. He won’t be botherin’ you no more.”
“What did you do, Nick?” growled Heath, his worry for Jarrod growing.
Nick had never seen such fury in Heath, not even during those first few weeks on the ranch and he stuttered, “I just roughed him up. I told him if he ever set foot on this ranch again, I’d...”
Heath pressed into Nick’s throat harder when he hesitated, “You’d what, Nick?”
“I’d tell Mother.”
“Tell me what, Nick?” Heath’s eyes widened and his face reddened at such a thought and when he heard his mother’s voice behind him, he instantly released Nick and refused to look at her.
Gasping for air, Nick recovered quickly and said tersely, “Nothing, Mother.”
Victoria had caught a good portion of the conversation in the hallway and demanded, “Nick, where is Jarrod?”
Sighing in frustration, but not one to incur his mother’s wrath when she looked at him that way, he answered, “He’s still up at the lodge for all I know. The rig ain’t come back yet.”
Heath’s head shot up and he quickly grabbed his hat to leave when he was stopped by Victoria’s gentle hand on his chest. She looked him right in the eye and said firmly, but softly, “Saddle up two horses and we’ll go get him.”
Nick jumped in defensively, “I ain’t goin’ to get him.”
Victoria glared at Nick and chided his behavior, “No, you’re not. You’ve caused enough damage already.”
“You don’t know what he’s done Mother,” fumed Nick, his hands planted firmly on his hips.
Her voice softened and she looked at Heath as she spoke, “You’d be surprised what I know.” She patted Heath’s chest and repeated her earlier request, “Go saddle the horses, son.”
Heath could see the knowing look in her eyes, yet there was no recrimination and he was both shocked and relieved. Without a second thought, he kissed her forehead, “Yes, Mother.” He left the room, leaving a very uncomfortable Nick to deal with his mother.
Victoria turned and faced Nick, who suddenly felt like a schoolboy again, “You and I will have a talk when I get back.” She strode towards the door, then turned back to tell him in a none too pleased voice, “I suggest you have the doctor here when we return.”
“Yes, Mother.”
*******
Victoria and Heath rode in silence for some time before Heath asked her shyly, “How long have you known?”
“I’ve suspected it for some time. I only knew for sure today.”
“And yet you ain’t mad. Why?”
“Mad? No, I’m not mad. Saddened a little, but not mad.”
Heath frowned at her reaction and she sighed deeply before she spoke, “Let me tell you a story and maybe it will help you to understand. I have an older brother I haven’t seen since he turned eighteen.”
“I’m sorry,” said Heath, the sorrow evident in his voice.
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. My brother was a wonderful and caring individual and he doted on me. I adored him. He...” Victoria hesitated, unsure of how to continue, “he and my father were very close, but when my father discovered that Michael...didn’t like girls, he went into a fit of rage and disowned him. Kicked him out of the house and demanded he leave town. I was young then, a few years younger than my brother, but I knew enough to know that what Michael had done was unacceptable. I knew before my father about Michael, we’d even talked about it a few times. He didn’t want to be the way he was and he made me see that it wasn’t anything he had any control over. In time, I realized that it didn’t make him an evil person, he was still the same loving brother I’d always known. I couldn’t hate him for his...lifestyle and I was devastated by what my father had done. I never even got the chance to say goodbye. My father drove him to town that same day and put him on the train with a warning never to return. I haven’t seen him since.” Her voice drifted off and she sat silently thinking about the past.
They traveled as fast as they dared, both of them lost in their own thoughts. When they stopped to water and rest the horses, Heath asked curiously, “Why didn’t you ever say somethin’ to Jarrod or me?”
“What could I have said? I assumed you both understood that what you were doing would be considered wrong in the eyes of most people and yet you were driven to do it any way. While I don’t understand it or even condone it, I do accept that sometimes we have no control over things that happen in our lives.”
“Hmmm.” Heath hesitated, not sure if he should be telling her what was on his mind, but it was nice to be able to finally talk to someone that could understand a little of what he and Jarrod had to live with. He spoke sorrowfully about the past, “I met Jarrod before I even knew he was my brother. By the time I found out, it was too late to turn back.” His voiced saddened as he recalled Nick’s reaction, “We never meant for anyone to find out. I reckon neither one of us ever thought about it. We went to great lengths to keep it hidden.”
“I would never have suspected had I not had Michael as a brother. It was very subtle and even then I could never prove it. For the most part, I tried to convince myself that the two of you simply cared for each other as brothers. I suppose if I really wanted to know the truth I would have looked harder. I guess deep down I didn’t want to know. It was easier to ignore it rather than having to deal with it.”
“And now?”
“At this point, only myself and Nick know about it. We’ll simply have to find a way to deal with it unless you think that you and Jarrod can put an end to it.”
Heath shook his head sadly, wishing sometimes it were that easy, “No, ma’am.”
Victoria took his hand in her and said with annoyance at his slip, “None of that. I’m still your Mother and nothing will ever change that. I love you as if your were my own and I won’t have you blaming yourself because you think you are less worthy. You both should have known better, but the past is past. Right now the most important thing is to get to Jarrod. If I know Jarrod, he is taking all the blame for putting you in this situation to begin with.” She waved off Heath’s attempt to argue, “I know that’s not the case, but I know Jarrod well enough to know exactly how he thinks. He has been older brother, surrogate father and protector to his family. He takes his responsibility very seriously and he is placing all the blame squarely on his shoulders and I’m sure he would do everything he could to protect you from the consequences of his actions.”
Heath nodded, knowing that Jarrod was doing just that. “I reckon we better get a move on, it’s still a ways to the lodge.”
Reaching her hand out, Victoria gave Heath a very serious look, “How bad did Nick hurt him?”
Tears gathered in Heath’s eyes and his voice wavered as he spoke, “He didn’t pull no punches. He was still hitting him when I was knocked out. I don’t know what happened after that.”
She tried to reassure Heath as well as herself, “Jarrod’s taken a beating from Nick before and come through it fine. I’m sure he’ll be alright.”
Heath didn’t have the courage to tell her that Jarrod made no attempt to defend himself and Heath could still see Jarrod struggling to get up when he tried to stop Nick, only to be cast aside by his brother’s anger. He knew that even if Nick had stopped there, Jarrod was now hurting and alone. They rode the rest of the trip in silence, except for occasional token conversation. The closer they got to the lodge the harder Heath pushed the horses, anxious and worried for Jarrod. Victoria too, was worried for Jarrod and she was happy when they finally had the lodge in sight.
Part 9
Heath dismounted before the horse even stopped and was headed inside when he remembered his manners. Turning back, he helped his mother dismount. She patted his hand, “Go. I’ll catch up.”
He wasn’t prepared for the sight of Jarrod curled up on the bed in a fetal position. Before he even got close, he could see Jarrod shivering. He rushed to kneel on the bed and was shocked by the heat that emanated from his brother. Heath rolled him to his back and softly called to him, “Jarrod, can you hear me? Come on, wake up for me. Please Jarrod, open your eyes for me.”
Jarrod’s breathing was shallow and he made no response as Heath anxiously looked him over. His face had multiple bruises and one eye was swelled shut. Heath gasped at Jarrod’s neck. Almost all the way around it was swollen and angry red with the skin cut and oozing pus. His jaw clenched tight when he realized that Nick had used the chain to try and choke Jarrod. Carefully opening Jarrod’s shirt he found the bruises that told of Nick’s abuse to his ribs and stomach. Still in the same clothes of three days ago, Heath knew that Jarrod hadn’t moved since that day. He lay in his own mess and had made no attempt to even clean his wounds or bind his ribs.
When his mother arrived, she watched as Heath carefully checked Jarrod over. When he noticed her, he stood up and told her with barely suppressed anger, “I’m gonna get a fire started so we can get him cleaned up. I’ll be right back.”
Victoria watched him leave, and assessed Jarrod’s injuries as well. She removed the medallion, and her eyes filled with tears as she read the inscription. Laying it on the bed, she gently removed his clothes and covered him with a blanket while she waited for Heath to return. The room smelled foul and she opened the window hoping to air out some of the sickness that lingered even after she’d thrown Jarrod’s clothes outside. Heath returned almost a half hour later with warm water. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, and Victoria could tell he’d been crying. As they began cleaning Jarrod up she asked gently, “Are you alright?”
Heath only nodded, afraid if he spoke he would reveal more than he cared to. Once they were done, Heath held Jarrod up so that Victoria could bind his ribs and apply ointment to his neck. He continued to hold him even after they were done and Victoria could see his hands trembling on Jarrod’s back. She found the medallion she’d removed earlier and placed in Heath’s hand. He looked up at her in surprise and found only a warm smile, “You give that back to him when he’s feeling better.” She wiped away a tear and patted him gently on the shoulder. “I’m going to fix us something to eat before we leave.”
She started towards the door and turned back to watch Heath pull Jarrod closer and bury his head in his shoulder. She left to give him privacy, but was struck by the emotion Heath showed towards Jarrod. The medallion and Heath’s reaction to Jarrod’s condition was something she hadn’t expected. She knew what was involved in their relationship, she was no fool, but it had never occurred to her that two men could love as deeply as a man and a woman. If Heath’s reaction was any indication, then he and Jarrod had more than a simple relationship of convenience.
******************
Heath lined the wagon with a mattress and very carefully lifted Jarrod to carry him out. Jarrod didn’t respond to being jostled, and Heath laid him the wagon and covered him with a light sheet. His body was still hot with fever and they didn’t want him getting any hotter than he already was. Jarrod’s skin was dry despite his fever and Heath worried about the three days he’d gone without food or water. He tied the horses to the back and helped his mother up into the wagon. “I left a canteen back here. You might see if you can get him to drink.”
Victoria patted the hand that helped her up, “You sure you wouldn’t rather I drive?”
Heath shook his head, “You sit with him. I’ll get us home.” He blinked back his tears and quickly climbed on board. Victoria watched as he got the horses moving and lift a hand to wipe away tears. It was a long six hours to get home and Victoria was grateful that Jarrod took the water he was offered. It wasn’t much but it was a start. Heath barely spoke and when they stopped to water and rest the horses, he spent the whole time just leaning over the wagon staring at Jarrod as he slept in his mother’s lap. Years of not being able to show any feelings in the presence of family were so deeply ingrained that even now he couldn’t make himself touch Jarrod in comfort. His heart was shattered by Jarrod’s haggard condition. He taken extra time to shave Jarrod, knowing he hated to be scraggily in his appearance, but he could do nothing about the gaunt and drawn look that graced his features. Jarrod had woke only once during the journey and Heath shuddered at the haunted look in Jarrod’s eyes. When they finally pulled into the yard both Heath and Victoria were emotionally exhausted.
Heath helped his mother down and carefully lifted Jarrod into his arms. In only sleeping pants, his body showed the damage so clearly against his pale skin, and Heath bit back his emotions. Victoria rushed ahead to announce their arrival while Heath carried his brother, savoring the chance to feel him close once more. Nick came rushing out to help and was stopped dead by Heath’s cold hard look. Heath stopped only long enough to hiss through clenched teeth, “Don’t you touch him!”
Nick stood speechless at Jarrod’s condition, not realizing until that moment how badly he’d hurt Jarrod. Even when Heath and his mother insisted on going after him, he thought Jarrod would come back angry for the fight, but still standing. He shook with fear for his older brother, and his knees buckled under the strain. Sitting on the steps he couldn’t make sense of anything. He hated Jarrod for corrupting Heath and yet here he was worried he would be all right. There were too many conflicting emotions coursing through him, especially Heath’s reaction. He honestly thought he was doing his little brother a favor by getting Jarrod out of his life, but Heath acted like he’d committed a mortal sin. Smoothing out his hair, he rose and went inside. The doctor had been waiting for their arrival for almost an hour, so Nick went upstairs to look in on his examination. He wisely stayed back and out of sight of Heath.
As the doctor carefully removed the bandages on Jarrod’s neck, Heath’s anger grew. Victoria could see his white knuckled grip on the bed frame and even though his face remained expressionless, she knew if Nick showed his face right now she’d be hard pressed to stop Heath. She totally understood his anger, for she would be having a long talk with her middle son once Jarrod was settled. It was obvious by the marks on his neck that Nick at done his best to choke Jarrod. The cuts were deep and only excessive force on the chain would have done the damage on Jarrod’s neck. It shocked her to think that Nick had come so close to killing his older brother.
As Nick stood watching he had to think hard to remember hurting Jarrod so badly. He reacted without thought and his unleashed temper made him oblivious to what he was doing during the fight. Looking back now, he shook his head in sorrow. He had almost killed his older brother and Jarrod had not raised a single hand to stop him. Jarrod had taken every blow and insult without a fight and Nick could see the light go out in his brother’s eyes just before he pushed him away that final time. He had left Jarrod in the dirt, not even caring if he were dead or alive. His anger had gotten the best of him and his only concern at the time was for Heath. He had to get away from it all but he knew his mother would be having words with him, and to leave now would only make the inevitable worse. Turning away, he went downstairs and poured himself a stiff drink. He downed it quickly and poured another. He was on his third when his mother swept into the room. She stopped to pour a sherry for herself then turned to Nick, “It’s time we had a talk, Nicholas.”
“Yes, Mother.”
*********************************
Heath sat at Jarrod’s bedside watching him sleep. For three days he hadn’t moved other than to see to his basic needs. He’d hardly eaten, and sleep was all but nonexistent. His face was sporting a dark shadow of beard, not taking time to even bath. His world revolved around caring for Jarrod and no amount of pleading on his mother’s part could get him to move. Jarrod’s fever had finally abated, and he’d woken several times, but he only stared unseeing. Heath had seen the look often enough to know that Jarrod had retreated into his own little world. So Heath stayed with him, talking softly. He carefully avoided the topic of the two of them unless he was absolutely certain they were alone, even then the conversation was stilted. Heath couldn’t find the words necessary to bring Jarrod back to him and it was taking its toll on the young man. On the fourth day, his body could no longer take the abuse and on a trip down the hall, he collapsed in a heap. Victoria called for Nick and the two of them managed to get him to his room for some much needed sleep.
Nick sat with him for the whole eighteen hours he slept. Heath woke feeling better than he had in days. Rolling over he found Nick watching him and his anger resurfaced, “Get out, Nick!”
“I just want to talk.”
Heath rolled away from Nick with disgust, “There ain’t nothin’ to talk about.”
Nick rubbed his face and leaned forward onto his knees, “Look, I’m sorry, alright! I’m sorry I overreacted.”
“I’m not the one you need ta be apologizin’ to,” said Heath softly, refusing to look at Nick.
“Look, I’m sorry I beat him up, but he didn’t have no right doin’ what he did to ya.”
Heath shot up and sat glaring at Nick, “What the hell are you talking ‘bout?”
Nick grew defensive, “Oh come on Heath, you were just a kid when he started in on ya. He shoulda known better.”
Heath actually laughed at Nick’s attitude, “Geez Nick, I’m twenty nine years old, don’t you think I’m old enough to know what I want.” His voice hardened and he frowned, “How can you blame him and not me?”
Standing, Nick started pacing the room angrily, his voice getting louder as he spoke, “Because he’s your older brother that’s why. He’s always professing how responsible he is and how he takes care of this family. Well, he pulled you into his sick little world and I don’t see that as very responsible. Hell if ya wanted in someone’s ass or mouth a two-bit whore’ll do that for ya.”
Heath launched at Nick and landed a blow that set him on his ass several feet away. Dazed by Heath’s reaction, he stared at him in disbelief. Shaking his head in disgust, Heath stopped on his way out the door. “You just don’t get it do you Nick?”
“Get what?” snapped Nick. “What else is there? He gives it and you take it. If he weren’t offerin’ you never would of got trapped by him.”
Heath was fed up with Nick’s whole attitude and walked over, squatting in front of him Heath hesitated only a moment before he told Nick plainly, “For your information, Jarrod ain’t the one spreading his legs, big brother.” He stood up and left the room, leaving Nick staring at his back in shock.
Returning to Jarrod’s room, Heath sat in vigil again. His hands fiddled with the medallion he was keeping for when Jarrod could wear it again. The chain was wrapped haphazardly around his fingers and the medallion dangled beneath his hands as elbows rested on his knees. His voice was very quiet as he spoke his mind to Jarrod. “Ya know when I met ya that first time, it scared me. That’s why I hightailed it outta there. I ain’t never felt that way about nobody. I’d lost too much by then to let anybody in, but you stuck with me for over a year. When you come bustin’ into the study that first night, I couldn’t believe it was you.”
Heath fingered the chain and he continued with his confession, “I knew it wasn’t right wantin’ ya like I did, but I couldn’t fight it any more than you could I guess.” Heath paused almost afraid to say more, “I got me a theory ‘bout it, but you’d be laughin’ if I told when you was awake, so I reckon this is as good a time as any... The way I see it, we was together in some past life and them two souls found their way into us when they died and we was born. Now them souls needed each other so bad that we was just drawn together. I reckon it didn’t matter none to them that we was brothers in this lifetime and when we die them souls will find someone else, and we’ll be together again. In that lifetime and then the next...” He held up the medallion and said tenderly with tears in his eyes. “...for all eternity.”
Unbeknownst to Heath, two silent watchers stood listening in the hallway. They watched as Jarrod’s eyes opened and his hand lifted to grasp the medallion in Heath’s hand. His eyes found Heath’s and he whispered hoarsely, “For all eternity, Heath.” Heath’s hands shook as he untangled the chain and opening Jarrod’s hand he gently placed it in his palm and closed his fingers around it. He clasped it tenderly and leaning forward he kissed Jarrod’s hand. Jarrod sighed and closed his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks.
In the hall, Nick’s stood behind his mother. His hands found her shoulder’s in comfort. Her hand covered her mouth and tears fell unchecked as she watched the scene unfold. If she had any doubts about what Heath and Jarrod shared before, they vanished in that moment. She turned to see Nick wipe away tears of his own. He seemed embarrassed by his reaction, but when he gave her small smile and a kiss before leaving, she knew that he had finally accepted what he could not change. Nick knew as well as she did that the medallion Jarrod treasured over anything else had been inscribed with the words... ‘For All Eternity’, and now they knew why.
Part 7
Time passed and Jarrod and Heath lived with the secret of their love. One particular Christmas, Jarrod presented Heath with a pocket watch inscribed with the words ‘Forever Heath’. Heath had to blink back tears as he read the inscription and when he glanced at Jarrod, he saw him briefly close his eyes and nod in affirmation of the words. Heath ducked his head and ran his finger over the precious words. The watch never left his possession and he carried it with him always. Heath privately presented Jarrod with a small gold medallion inscribed with his own sentiments. Jarrod refused to tell anyone from whom it came, but he would often be seen rubbing it unconsciously between his fingers when he was troubled or melancholy.
They lived for time together and looked forward to their trips to the lodge. The one place they could let loose of all inhibitions and show their love freely without the fear of someone seeing or hearing them. The third year of their annual visits would forever be remembered as the turning point in all they had become or ever would be.
It was their last day and Heath was determined to make it memorable for Jarrod. Dressed in just his chaps, he sat on the bed and waited on Jarrod to finish his morning bath. They’d learned long ago that shared baths accomplished nothing more than to make a bigger mess so they reluctantly admitted that it was better to go solo. When Jarrod walked in and found Heath sitting on the bed stroking his thick shaft, wearing just the chaps his knees threatened to buckle. Jarrod stumbled to the bed, his own erection already throbbing to life and Heath put up a hand to stop his advance.
He pointed to the opposite end of the bed and insisted, “Sit. No touching.” He gave him his trademark grin, “You get to watch.”
Jarrod sat at the end of the bed and leaned back with his legs stretched out in front of him and a raging hard-on between his legs. The chaps alone were enough to make him hard, but to play this particular game would be near impossible. His voice stammered as he spoke, “I don’t think I can do this Heath.”
Heath let the leather on his leg rub against Jarrod’s calf and watched his brother start sweating. Little beads of sweat formed and trickled down Jarrod’s face and chest, making Heath’s member twitch in his hand. Jarrod’s breathing was fast and he tried to take deep breaths as Heath took some oil and drizzled it on his hot flesh. “Just watch and enjoy...I promise it won’t take long.”
Jarrod nodded and he slunk down on the bed, his shoulders pressing hard into the end board. Lifting his knees, he spread his legs wide so he had a clear field of view. Heath tilted his head back and closed his eyes as he let the oil cover his shaft with each slow agonizing stroke. Already he could feel Jarrod moving restlessly on the bed and he knew if he opened his eyes he would be hard pressed to prolong his rising desire.
Gripping the bed rail above him, Jarrod’s knuckles were white as he strained to keep his hands from wandering to his pulsing and needy flesh. Heath’s hand pumped his erection and Jarrod’s breathing grew labored as Heath’s strokes grew harder and faster. He writhed on the bed but his eyes never strayed from Heath’s burgeoning length. Jarrod was trembling and his heart beat loudly in his chest, each beat sending a surge of blood into his painfully erect shaft. His muscles began their tell tale twitching and his balls drew up tightly and he begged Heath, “Hurts...oh god...it hurts!”
He was caught in the familiar limbo and Heath opened his eyes and pumped faster, not wanting to prolong Jarrod’s agony. It was fun and exciting to a point, but Jarrod was truly in pain and needed release. Heath had learned that when Jarrod told him it hurt it was time to end his teasing. One look at Jarrod’s jutting purple hardness and the frantic look in his eyes was enough to send him over the edge and he thrust upward, spewing his seed all over Jarrod’s legs and stomach. To Jarrod it felt like fire and his balls clenched even tighter and he lost the ability to even breath for a second. Heath shook himself from his ecstasy to take care of Jarrod who was shaking almost violently with need. He moved closer, settling between Jarrod’s legs, letting his leather clad legs brush his thighs. Jarrod jerked and his hips thrust upward straining for contact. His eyes pleaded with Heath, and they darkened with a rush of desire as he saw Heath’s hand reach for his aching flesh. His hips pumped uncontrollably waiting for the hand to enclose him. He was never prepared for the intensity of his impending climax when Heath finally touched his burning flesh. He screamed. He always screamed when they played this game. He couldn’t help it. His balls felt as though they were being ripped away from his body and his shaft never felt big enough for the force exerted to release the fluid that had built up awaiting his release. Tears fell and still he screamed, his ejaculate exploding upwards in stream after powerful stream, covering both of them with the milky white substance.
Heath’s hand suddenly stilled and a look of shock crossed his face. Jarrod could see something was wrong, but his body wasn’t done and he thrust sharply upward desperate to finish what they’d started. Only when his body slumped to the bed did his screams die away to a whimper. Jarrod weakly turned his head to where Heath was looking and he too was horrified by what he saw. Both men were stunned and speechless as they watched Nick bolt from the doorway looking very, very sick.
Jarrod couldn’t move, his body still shuddering from his release. Heath wanted to go to Nick but he couldn’t leave Jarrod, not like this. Heath moved in and held his lover, while he shivered and shook in his arms. It was a bittersweet pleasure for both of them as they contemplated facing Nick’s wrath. Heath whispered gently to Jarrod and wiped away his tears. Jarrod tried to sit up forcing himself to forget what they’d just shared in his attempt to get to Nick. Heath knew that Jarrod was physically and emotionally exhausted and moving was always a struggle after their little game. He didn’t try to stop Jarrod, instead he grabbed clothes for both of them and helped Jarrod dress. Jarrod’s hands shook and Heath did most of the dressing. They both managed to get into pants and shirts, neither bothering to button up the shirt. What was the point. Nick saw everything and dressing neatly now, seemed immaterial.
Jarrod slipped on his boots and spoke softly to Heath in a still shaky voice, “Stay here for a bit...Let me talk to him first.” Heath nodded. He was devastated by Nick’s appearance and his sickened look. He looked up to and idolized his older brother and to see such disgust in his eyes hurt Heath more than he ever would have thought possible. Jarrod lifted his chin and said tenderly, “It’ll be okay.” Jarrod cupped his face and Heath leaned into Jarrod’s touch as tears fell. He thumbed away the moisture and kissed him, “I promise.” Heath nodded and sat dejected on the bed as Jarrod fought back his fatigue and went in search of Nick.
Jarrod walked through the house, not seeing Nick and then he heard the awful sound of retching outside. He took a moment to smooth back his hair, and wipe his sticky chest off before descending the steps. Nick was sitting on his haunches, his hands on his thighs, dry heaving in the bushes. The older brother in Jarrod was immediately concerned and he dropped a comforting hand on Nick’s shoulder.
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” yelled Nick and he swung around and backhanded Jarrod to the face with enough force to throw him back several feet, dazed and bleeding from his mouth. Jarrod had no time to recover before Nick head butted him in the stomach knocking all the air from his lungs. Doubled over and gasping for air, Jarrod couldn’t block the punishing blows that Nick was inflicting on him. His ribs, his stomach and his face were pummeled and he took each one as punishment for his evil deeds, never raising a hand to stop Nick’s rage.
He lay in a heap struggling to breath when Heath bolted from the house and pulled Nick off of him, “NICK! STOP! HE AIN’T FIGHTIN’ YA!!!!”
Nick wasn’t hearing, aware of nothing but the pain in his heart. When Heath grabbed him away from Jarrod, Nick was so pumped with adrenalin, that when he hit his younger brother with a two handed fist, Heath’s head snapped back and he was catapulted into the water trough three feet away. His head hit with a sickening thud and he collapsed in a boneless heap, unmoving. Jarrod watched, horrified when Heath didn’t move. He half stumbled, half crawled, ignoring his own injuries in an effort to get Heath. Nick stood in shock at what had happened, but when he saw Jarrod reaching out for Heath, he reacted.
Grasping Jarrod’s shirt, he literally threw him away from Heath as he snarled, “You stay away from him you son-of-bitch. Keep your filthy hands off him.” Nick tenderly checked Heath’s head for injuries, and when his trembling hand came away covered in Heath’s blood he gasped at the sight.
Jarrod saw it too and he cried out, “Heath!” He scrambled in the dirt to get to him, but Nick wouldn’t let him close, pushing him back roughly at every attempt. Tears rolled down his bruised and battered face and he pleaded with Nick in short, ragged breaths, “Please Nick... let me help him.”
Nick held Heath close and screamed at Jarrod, “This is your fault. You’re sick Jarrod! A goddamn perversion. That’s what it is. He’s your brother for Christ sake. You couldn’t leave him alone could ya.”
Jarrod sat staring at Nick in shock and Nick shook his head in disgust. “I knew you tried it when you were younger. I thought you’d given up on it, but you had to go and drag him into your sick little world. God! Your own brother.”
Inching closer as Nick yelled, Jarrod finally reached forward to touch Heath as uttered, “He wasn’t my brother when we met.”
Nick glared at him with a fury that even Jarrod feared, and he shifted away from Nick’s reach. Not quick enough, Nick grabbed the medallion that always hung around Jarrod’s neck and pulled on it fiercely, choking Jarrod and tearing the skin beneath it. Jarrod’s hands fought blindly against the thin metal squeezing his life away as Nick pulled him closer and snarled, “Stay away from him Jarrod. You show your face on the ranch again and I’ll tell Mother, I swear to god.”
Jarrod was turning purple and his eyes started to roll back when Nick finally released his hold on him. Falling forward, he tried to get air to his oxygen starved lungs. His damaged ribs fought against his need for deep breaths and he felt his world begin to blur as he fell face first into the dirt, unconscious.
Nick bandaged Heath’s head wound and still he showed no signs of waking up. It took some time but he finally managed to get Heath up on Coco and he mounted behind him. With only a brief backward glance at Jarrod’s crumpled form in the dirt, he rode towards home.
*********
Jarrod woke several hours later in a haze of pain. The sun was beating down on his exposed skin, making him sweaty and hot. As he slowly opened his eyes, the bright light burned his aching head and he swallowed back the bile that threatened to rise from his unsettled stomach. It was painful to swallow and he couldn’t understand why until his hand touched his swollen neck and he remembered how he’d gotten where he was. His concern for Heath overruled his own injuries and hurried to get to his feet. His world turned upside down in a blinding flash of pain and dizziness and he dropped to his knees as he lost the contents of his stomach. When there was nothing left to give, his body was attacked with dry heaves. His damaged ribs screamed with every convulsive shudder and he wrapped his arms around them to stop the agonizing movements.
Exhausted and hurting, he slumped against the water trough and his eyes dropped to the dark patch in the dirt. Blood...Heath’s blood. Nick had taken Heath from him and left him without a second thought, knowing Jarrod would never follow. He couldn’t now. Nick had used the one thing that horrified Jarrod more than anything else. His mother finding out he was an abomination...a perversion of nature. He hated himself, hated what he had become, but he was no more able to stop it then he could stop the sun from rising. He’d tried over the years to do the proper thing, live the proper life, but he couldn’t stop the urges. Women were nice and he found a certain attraction in them, but it was men that excited him, made him hard. Heath is what he lived for and without him, he had nothing. His life became meaningless when Nick took him away. Perhaps Nick was right, maybe without him, Heath could have a real chance at a real life instead of being sucked into his sick, demented world.
Suddenly numb to everything including his own pain, he stumbled into the house and made his way to the bedroom. Crawling into bed, he curled up and retreated from all the pain and suffering he’d created.
************************
Part 8
It was two days before Heath finally came around and Nick never left his side. The doctor stitched up his head and concluded that Heath had a concussion that he may or may not wake from. Nick was beside himself with worry and he’d wired Mother in Denver to tell her she was needed at home. He hated to think what she’d say when she found out that he had been the cause of Heath’s injury. And Jarrod, he really could care less. He’d left him at the lodge, convinced that Heath was finally safe from his clutches. It never occurred to him that Heath was anything but an innocent victim. Heath, his partner and confidant, would never have drifted had it not been for Jarrod. Without Jarrod in the picture, Heath would be free again, no longer influenced by his older brother’s wicked ways. As far as his mother was concerned, they had gotten into a scuffle and Heath had gotten hurt. Jarrod was angry with them both and Nick didn’t know where he was. He knew Jarrod well enough to know he’d never set foot on the ranch again for fear of Mother discovering his dirty little secret.
Heath’s first day awake was blurry and fuzzy and he wasn’t aware of much more than Nick’s demands that he eat and get his strength up. Oblivious to much else, he drifted in and out of sleep. On the third day he awoke with a clear, but aching head and his heart raced with fear as he remembered what had happened. With no thought to anything but finding Jarrod, he eased himself to the edge of the bed. His body swayed for a brief moment, but began to clear itself of the dizziness so he stood up gingerly, wary of what would happen. He felt weak, but he could deal with it. Going to his dresser he pulled out clothes and carried them back to his bed where he could sit and get dressed. It was a slow process but his determination won out and he was ready to go.
He stood to go and was confronted by a very irate big brother, “Were the hell do you think you’re going?”
Heath stood eye to eye with Nick, “I have to find Jarrod.”
“He ain’t here and he ain’t comin’ back. You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”
Nick was totally unprepared for Heath’s reaction and he found himself being slammed up against the wall with Heath’s forearm in his throat. Heath’s eyes were dark and foreboding as he asked angrily, “What do you mean he ain’t comin’ back?”
Struggling to get free, Nick was helpless in Heath’s iron grip and he hissed, “I took care of him. He won’t be botherin’ you no more.”
“What did you do, Nick?” growled Heath, his worry for Jarrod growing.
Nick had never seen such fury in Heath, not even during those first few weeks on the ranch and he stuttered, “I just roughed him up. I told him if he ever set foot on this ranch again, I’d...”
Heath pressed into Nick’s throat harder when he hesitated, “You’d what, Nick?”
“I’d tell Mother.”
“Tell me what, Nick?” Heath’s eyes widened and his face reddened at such a thought and when he heard his mother’s voice behind him, he instantly released Nick and refused to look at her.
Gasping for air, Nick recovered quickly and said tersely, “Nothing, Mother.”
Victoria had caught a good portion of the conversation in the hallway and demanded, “Nick, where is Jarrod?”
Sighing in frustration, but not one to incur his mother’s wrath when she looked at him that way, he answered, “He’s still up at the lodge for all I know. The rig ain’t come back yet.”
Heath’s head shot up and he quickly grabbed his hat to leave when he was stopped by Victoria’s gentle hand on his chest. She looked him right in the eye and said firmly, but softly, “Saddle up two horses and we’ll go get him.”
Nick jumped in defensively, “I ain’t goin’ to get him.”
Victoria glared at Nick and chided his behavior, “No, you’re not. You’ve caused enough damage already.”
“You don’t know what he’s done Mother,” fumed Nick, his hands planted firmly on his hips.
Her voice softened and she looked at Heath as she spoke, “You’d be surprised what I know.” She patted Heath’s chest and repeated her earlier request, “Go saddle the horses, son.”
Heath could see the knowing look in her eyes, yet there was no recrimination and he was both shocked and relieved. Without a second thought, he kissed her forehead, “Yes, Mother.” He left the room, leaving a very uncomfortable Nick to deal with his mother.
Victoria turned and faced Nick, who suddenly felt like a schoolboy again, “You and I will have a talk when I get back.” She strode towards the door, then turned back to tell him in a none too pleased voice, “I suggest you have the doctor here when we return.”
“Yes, Mother.”
*******
Victoria and Heath rode in silence for some time before Heath asked her shyly, “How long have you known?”
“I’ve suspected it for some time. I only knew for sure today.”
“And yet you ain’t mad. Why?”
“Mad? No, I’m not mad. Saddened a little, but not mad.”
Heath frowned at her reaction and she sighed deeply before she spoke, “Let me tell you a story and maybe it will help you to understand. I have an older brother I haven’t seen since he turned eighteen.”
“I’m sorry,” said Heath, the sorrow evident in his voice.
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. My brother was a wonderful and caring individual and he doted on me. I adored him. He...” Victoria hesitated, unsure of how to continue, “he and my father were very close, but when my father discovered that Michael...didn’t like girls, he went into a fit of rage and disowned him. Kicked him out of the house and demanded he leave town. I was young then, a few years younger than my brother, but I knew enough to know that what Michael had done was unacceptable. I knew before my father about Michael, we’d even talked about it a few times. He didn’t want to be the way he was and he made me see that it wasn’t anything he had any control over. In time, I realized that it didn’t make him an evil person, he was still the same loving brother I’d always known. I couldn’t hate him for his...lifestyle and I was devastated by what my father had done. I never even got the chance to say goodbye. My father drove him to town that same day and put him on the train with a warning never to return. I haven’t seen him since.” Her voice drifted off and she sat silently thinking about the past.
They traveled as fast as they dared, both of them lost in their own thoughts. When they stopped to water and rest the horses, Heath asked curiously, “Why didn’t you ever say somethin’ to Jarrod or me?”
“What could I have said? I assumed you both understood that what you were doing would be considered wrong in the eyes of most people and yet you were driven to do it any way. While I don’t understand it or even condone it, I do accept that sometimes we have no control over things that happen in our lives.”
“Hmmm.” Heath hesitated, not sure if he should be telling her what was on his mind, but it was nice to be able to finally talk to someone that could understand a little of what he and Jarrod had to live with. He spoke sorrowfully about the past, “I met Jarrod before I even knew he was my brother. By the time I found out, it was too late to turn back.” His voiced saddened as he recalled Nick’s reaction, “We never meant for anyone to find out. I reckon neither one of us ever thought about it. We went to great lengths to keep it hidden.”
“I would never have suspected had I not had Michael as a brother. It was very subtle and even then I could never prove it. For the most part, I tried to convince myself that the two of you simply cared for each other as brothers. I suppose if I really wanted to know the truth I would have looked harder. I guess deep down I didn’t want to know. It was easier to ignore it rather than having to deal with it.”
“And now?”
“At this point, only myself and Nick know about it. We’ll simply have to find a way to deal with it unless you think that you and Jarrod can put an end to it.”
Heath shook his head sadly, wishing sometimes it were that easy, “No, ma’am.”
Victoria took his hand in her and said with annoyance at his slip, “None of that. I’m still your Mother and nothing will ever change that. I love you as if your were my own and I won’t have you blaming yourself because you think you are less worthy. You both should have known better, but the past is past. Right now the most important thing is to get to Jarrod. If I know Jarrod, he is taking all the blame for putting you in this situation to begin with.” She waved off Heath’s attempt to argue, “I know that’s not the case, but I know Jarrod well enough to know exactly how he thinks. He has been older brother, surrogate father and protector to his family. He takes his responsibility very seriously and he is placing all the blame squarely on his shoulders and I’m sure he would do everything he could to protect you from the consequences of his actions.”
Heath nodded, knowing that Jarrod was doing just that. “I reckon we better get a move on, it’s still a ways to the lodge.”
Reaching her hand out, Victoria gave Heath a very serious look, “How bad did Nick hurt him?”
Tears gathered in Heath’s eyes and his voice wavered as he spoke, “He didn’t pull no punches. He was still hitting him when I was knocked out. I don’t know what happened after that.”
She tried to reassure Heath as well as herself, “Jarrod’s taken a beating from Nick before and come through it fine. I’m sure he’ll be alright.”
Heath didn’t have the courage to tell her that Jarrod made no attempt to defend himself and Heath could still see Jarrod struggling to get up when he tried to stop Nick, only to be cast aside by his brother’s anger. He knew that even if Nick had stopped there, Jarrod was now hurting and alone. They rode the rest of the trip in silence, except for occasional token conversation. The closer they got to the lodge the harder Heath pushed the horses, anxious and worried for Jarrod. Victoria too, was worried for Jarrod and she was happy when they finally had the lodge in sight.
Part 9
Heath dismounted before the horse even stopped and was headed inside when he remembered his manners. Turning back, he helped his mother dismount. She patted his hand, “Go. I’ll catch up.”
He wasn’t prepared for the sight of Jarrod curled up on the bed in a fetal position. Before he even got close, he could see Jarrod shivering. He rushed to kneel on the bed and was shocked by the heat that emanated from his brother. Heath rolled him to his back and softly called to him, “Jarrod, can you hear me? Come on, wake up for me. Please Jarrod, open your eyes for me.”
Jarrod’s breathing was shallow and he made no response as Heath anxiously looked him over. His face had multiple bruises and one eye was swelled shut. Heath gasped at Jarrod’s neck. Almost all the way around it was swollen and angry red with the skin cut and oozing pus. His jaw clenched tight when he realized that Nick had used the chain to try and choke Jarrod. Carefully opening Jarrod’s shirt he found the bruises that told of Nick’s abuse to his ribs and stomach. Still in the same clothes of three days ago, Heath knew that Jarrod hadn’t moved since that day. He lay in his own mess and had made no attempt to even clean his wounds or bind his ribs.
When his mother arrived, she watched as Heath carefully checked Jarrod over. When he noticed her, he stood up and told her with barely suppressed anger, “I’m gonna get a fire started so we can get him cleaned up. I’ll be right back.”
Victoria watched him leave, and assessed Jarrod’s injuries as well. She removed the medallion, and her eyes filled with tears as she read the inscription. Laying it on the bed, she gently removed his clothes and covered him with a blanket while she waited for Heath to return. The room smelled foul and she opened the window hoping to air out some of the sickness that lingered even after she’d thrown Jarrod’s clothes outside. Heath returned almost a half hour later with warm water. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, and Victoria could tell he’d been crying. As they began cleaning Jarrod up she asked gently, “Are you alright?”
Heath only nodded, afraid if he spoke he would reveal more than he cared to. Once they were done, Heath held Jarrod up so that Victoria could bind his ribs and apply ointment to his neck. He continued to hold him even after they were done and Victoria could see his hands trembling on Jarrod’s back. She found the medallion she’d removed earlier and placed in Heath’s hand. He looked up at her in surprise and found only a warm smile, “You give that back to him when he’s feeling better.” She wiped away a tear and patted him gently on the shoulder. “I’m going to fix us something to eat before we leave.”
She started towards the door and turned back to watch Heath pull Jarrod closer and bury his head in his shoulder. She left to give him privacy, but was struck by the emotion Heath showed towards Jarrod. The medallion and Heath’s reaction to Jarrod’s condition was something she hadn’t expected. She knew what was involved in their relationship, she was no fool, but it had never occurred to her that two men could love as deeply as a man and a woman. If Heath’s reaction was any indication, then he and Jarrod had more than a simple relationship of convenience.
******************
Heath lined the wagon with a mattress and very carefully lifted Jarrod to carry him out. Jarrod didn’t respond to being jostled, and Heath laid him the wagon and covered him with a light sheet. His body was still hot with fever and they didn’t want him getting any hotter than he already was. Jarrod’s skin was dry despite his fever and Heath worried about the three days he’d gone without food or water. He tied the horses to the back and helped his mother up into the wagon. “I left a canteen back here. You might see if you can get him to drink.”
Victoria patted the hand that helped her up, “You sure you wouldn’t rather I drive?”
Heath shook his head, “You sit with him. I’ll get us home.” He blinked back his tears and quickly climbed on board. Victoria watched as he got the horses moving and lift a hand to wipe away tears. It was a long six hours to get home and Victoria was grateful that Jarrod took the water he was offered. It wasn’t much but it was a start. Heath barely spoke and when they stopped to water and rest the horses, he spent the whole time just leaning over the wagon staring at Jarrod as he slept in his mother’s lap. Years of not being able to show any feelings in the presence of family were so deeply ingrained that even now he couldn’t make himself touch Jarrod in comfort. His heart was shattered by Jarrod’s haggard condition. He taken extra time to shave Jarrod, knowing he hated to be scraggily in his appearance, but he could do nothing about the gaunt and drawn look that graced his features. Jarrod had woke only once during the journey and Heath shuddered at the haunted look in Jarrod’s eyes. When they finally pulled into the yard both Heath and Victoria were emotionally exhausted.
Heath helped his mother down and carefully lifted Jarrod into his arms. In only sleeping pants, his body showed the damage so clearly against his pale skin, and Heath bit back his emotions. Victoria rushed ahead to announce their arrival while Heath carried his brother, savoring the chance to feel him close once more. Nick came rushing out to help and was stopped dead by Heath’s cold hard look. Heath stopped only long enough to hiss through clenched teeth, “Don’t you touch him!”
Nick stood speechless at Jarrod’s condition, not realizing until that moment how badly he’d hurt Jarrod. Even when Heath and his mother insisted on going after him, he thought Jarrod would come back angry for the fight, but still standing. He shook with fear for his older brother, and his knees buckled under the strain. Sitting on the steps he couldn’t make sense of anything. He hated Jarrod for corrupting Heath and yet here he was worried he would be all right. There were too many conflicting emotions coursing through him, especially Heath’s reaction. He honestly thought he was doing his little brother a favor by getting Jarrod out of his life, but Heath acted like he’d committed a mortal sin. Smoothing out his hair, he rose and went inside. The doctor had been waiting for their arrival for almost an hour, so Nick went upstairs to look in on his examination. He wisely stayed back and out of sight of Heath.
As the doctor carefully removed the bandages on Jarrod’s neck, Heath’s anger grew. Victoria could see his white knuckled grip on the bed frame and even though his face remained expressionless, she knew if Nick showed his face right now she’d be hard pressed to stop Heath. She totally understood his anger, for she would be having a long talk with her middle son once Jarrod was settled. It was obvious by the marks on his neck that Nick at done his best to choke Jarrod. The cuts were deep and only excessive force on the chain would have done the damage on Jarrod’s neck. It shocked her to think that Nick had come so close to killing his older brother.
As Nick stood watching he had to think hard to remember hurting Jarrod so badly. He reacted without thought and his unleashed temper made him oblivious to what he was doing during the fight. Looking back now, he shook his head in sorrow. He had almost killed his older brother and Jarrod had not raised a single hand to stop him. Jarrod had taken every blow and insult without a fight and Nick could see the light go out in his brother’s eyes just before he pushed him away that final time. He had left Jarrod in the dirt, not even caring if he were dead or alive. His anger had gotten the best of him and his only concern at the time was for Heath. He had to get away from it all but he knew his mother would be having words with him, and to leave now would only make the inevitable worse. Turning away, he went downstairs and poured himself a stiff drink. He downed it quickly and poured another. He was on his third when his mother swept into the room. She stopped to pour a sherry for herself then turned to Nick, “It’s time we had a talk, Nicholas.”
“Yes, Mother.”
*********************************
Heath sat at Jarrod’s bedside watching him sleep. For three days he hadn’t moved other than to see to his basic needs. He’d hardly eaten, and sleep was all but nonexistent. His face was sporting a dark shadow of beard, not taking time to even bath. His world revolved around caring for Jarrod and no amount of pleading on his mother’s part could get him to move. Jarrod’s fever had finally abated, and he’d woken several times, but he only stared unseeing. Heath had seen the look often enough to know that Jarrod had retreated into his own little world. So Heath stayed with him, talking softly. He carefully avoided the topic of the two of them unless he was absolutely certain they were alone, even then the conversation was stilted. Heath couldn’t find the words necessary to bring Jarrod back to him and it was taking its toll on the young man. On the fourth day, his body could no longer take the abuse and on a trip down the hall, he collapsed in a heap. Victoria called for Nick and the two of them managed to get him to his room for some much needed sleep.
Nick sat with him for the whole eighteen hours he slept. Heath woke feeling better than he had in days. Rolling over he found Nick watching him and his anger resurfaced, “Get out, Nick!”
“I just want to talk.”
Heath rolled away from Nick with disgust, “There ain’t nothin’ to talk about.”
Nick rubbed his face and leaned forward onto his knees, “Look, I’m sorry, alright! I’m sorry I overreacted.”
“I’m not the one you need ta be apologizin’ to,” said Heath softly, refusing to look at Nick.
“Look, I’m sorry I beat him up, but he didn’t have no right doin’ what he did to ya.”
Heath shot up and sat glaring at Nick, “What the hell are you talking ‘bout?”
Nick grew defensive, “Oh come on Heath, you were just a kid when he started in on ya. He shoulda known better.”
Heath actually laughed at Nick’s attitude, “Geez Nick, I’m twenty nine years old, don’t you think I’m old enough to know what I want.” His voice hardened and he frowned, “How can you blame him and not me?”
Standing, Nick started pacing the room angrily, his voice getting louder as he spoke, “Because he’s your older brother that’s why. He’s always professing how responsible he is and how he takes care of this family. Well, he pulled you into his sick little world and I don’t see that as very responsible. Hell if ya wanted in someone’s ass or mouth a two-bit whore’ll do that for ya.”
Heath launched at Nick and landed a blow that set him on his ass several feet away. Dazed by Heath’s reaction, he stared at him in disbelief. Shaking his head in disgust, Heath stopped on his way out the door. “You just don’t get it do you Nick?”
“Get what?” snapped Nick. “What else is there? He gives it and you take it. If he weren’t offerin’ you never would of got trapped by him.”
Heath was fed up with Nick’s whole attitude and walked over, squatting in front of him Heath hesitated only a moment before he told Nick plainly, “For your information, Jarrod ain’t the one spreading his legs, big brother.” He stood up and left the room, leaving Nick staring at his back in shock.
Returning to Jarrod’s room, Heath sat in vigil again. His hands fiddled with the medallion he was keeping for when Jarrod could wear it again. The chain was wrapped haphazardly around his fingers and the medallion dangled beneath his hands as elbows rested on his knees. His voice was very quiet as he spoke his mind to Jarrod. “Ya know when I met ya that first time, it scared me. That’s why I hightailed it outta there. I ain’t never felt that way about nobody. I’d lost too much by then to let anybody in, but you stuck with me for over a year. When you come bustin’ into the study that first night, I couldn’t believe it was you.”
Heath fingered the chain and he continued with his confession, “I knew it wasn’t right wantin’ ya like I did, but I couldn’t fight it any more than you could I guess.” Heath paused almost afraid to say more, “I got me a theory ‘bout it, but you’d be laughin’ if I told when you was awake, so I reckon this is as good a time as any... The way I see it, we was together in some past life and them two souls found their way into us when they died and we was born. Now them souls needed each other so bad that we was just drawn together. I reckon it didn’t matter none to them that we was brothers in this lifetime and when we die them souls will find someone else, and we’ll be together again. In that lifetime and then the next...” He held up the medallion and said tenderly with tears in his eyes. “...for all eternity.”
Unbeknownst to Heath, two silent watchers stood listening in the hallway. They watched as Jarrod’s eyes opened and his hand lifted to grasp the medallion in Heath’s hand. His eyes found Heath’s and he whispered hoarsely, “For all eternity, Heath.” Heath’s hands shook as he untangled the chain and opening Jarrod’s hand he gently placed it in his palm and closed his fingers around it. He clasped it tenderly and leaning forward he kissed Jarrod’s hand. Jarrod sighed and closed his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks.
In the hall, Nick’s stood behind his mother. His hands found her shoulder’s in comfort. Her hand covered her mouth and tears fell unchecked as she watched the scene unfold. If she had any doubts about what Heath and Jarrod shared before, they vanished in that moment. She turned to see Nick wipe away tears of his own. He seemed embarrassed by his reaction, but when he gave her small smile and a kiss before leaving, she knew that he had finally accepted what he could not change. Nick knew as well as she did that the medallion Jarrod treasured over anything else had been inscribed with the words... ‘For All Eternity’, and now they knew why.