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Title: Unspoken
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson
Rating: R for language
Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 15
Rodney was returning to work almost two weeks later under strict orders from Carson not to overdo it. His back was still sore and tender, making him cautious about moving too quickly. With his wrist healing and the bruises fading, he was no longer content to stay confined to his room. Carson had taken an entire week to care for him and spoil him, to the point that Rodney was feeling guilty about holing up in his room. It wasn’t enough to sit around, even with his laptop, and he’d talked Carson into letting him return to work.
They’d talked a lot and Rodney worked through a few things but still couldn’t see his way to forgive his teammates. Rodney told Carson all about what the Kinoban’s did, but couldn’t find the words to explain what Pojan had done in the final test. How he’d made him suffer so that Sheppard could have an epiphany. Sadly, Rodney had his own epiphany in those final moments but he kept that to himself. It was too hard to talk about and in the final analysis it no longer mattered. He was off the team and it was time to move on.
He knew the others felt remorse for what he’d gone through but they still didn’t understand. They thought he’d trained with them to fit in. It was more he felt the need to contribute and do his part. He’d done it so he could hold his head up, knowing he’d done everything he could to protect them if the need arose. It was never about fitting in.
Leaving his room for the first time in two weeks, Rodney glanced up and down the hall, making sure it was clear before beginning his trek to the lab. It had taken some work, but he’d convinced Carson he didn’t need an escort. He had no doubt he’d see him before the morning was out. Even with a slower pace, Rodney found himself getting tired and he stopped, leaning against the wall for a moment.
He startled at the familiar voice behind him, “You alright, McKay?”
Rodney pushed away from the wall and kept walking, “What do you want?”
“Nothing, just thought since you’re back on your feet we could talk.”
Sparing Sheppard a sideways glace, Rodney huffed, “Didn’t I make myself clear enough, Major. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I guess you didn’t use small enough words,” quipped Sheppard, throwing McKay’s words back at him and refusing to let the sour mood daunt him.
The sarcasm wasn’t lost on Rodney, but he really wasn’t in the mood for bantering. “Look I’ll make this as simple as possible, even for you. You made everything perfectly clear, Major. I’m not so dense that I can’t take the hint. You’re done with me, over, finished. All your dreams come true. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
John grabbed for him, spinning him around, removing his hand when Rodney winced at the harsh treatment. “I’m sorry, alright. If I could do it over again I would, but I can’t. Can’t you at least give me a chance to explain?” He hesitated before continuing, almost shyly, “I was wrong. I fucked up. It wasn’t you Rodney, it was me.”
Rodney grunted, “I feel better all ready. Is this where we fight it out, have a few beers and all will be well in the world again?”
Rolling his eyes, Sheppard shook his head, “Shut up and listen. This is important.”
“Oh, I’m sure it is…in your mind.” Rodney started walking again.
Undeterred, John followed. “I had a friend once, he was gay. He used our friendship and it got men killed. Men died because I trusted him to keep his private life out of the field.”
Rodney stopped in his tracks and stared at John as if he’d grown two heads. “You think I’m upset because of the gay thing? It isn’t about that. Well not really. It’s about my position on the team, Major. I thought we were friends. I thought I could trust you and I find out, in a rather shocking way I might add, that you thought I was liability. You’ll forgive me if I find that disturbing, Major.”
“I never wanted you to get hurt. You’re my friend.”
“I must have missed that part.” Rodney’s tone leveled off, speaking as if it really didn’t matter to him, “Look, Major, this is going nowhere and I really do have work to do. If it eases your conscience any, I really do look forward to no more missions. I can concentrate on my own work without being interrupted every few days, risking life and limb with little return.”
His words were flung out carelessly, but John knew better. “We want you back on the team, McKay. You don’t have to leave. We can work this out.”
Rodney shook his head, “No, we can’t.” He walked away without looking back.
Entering the lab, Rodney was glad to find it empty but for Zelenka. He could deal with Radek, the man gave as good as he got and wasn’t offended by Rodney’s moodiness. McKay sat at his desk with barely a nod at the Czech scientist and got to work.
Absorbed in the latest calculations for converting naquada power to the ancient systems, Rodney didn’t realize the time that had passed. The rustle of material on his right drew his attention and he lifted his head to find Carson standing with his arms crossed and looking rather displeased, “I missed you at lunch.”
Glancing at his watch, Rodney was surprised to see it was almost two o’clock. “Sorry, I must have lost track of time. I’ll meet you for supper, how’s that?”
“And what about lunch? You need to eat.”
Duly chastised, Rodney reached into his desk and pulled out a Powerbar, holding it proudly for Carson to see, “Lunch!”
Carson went into Doctor mode, leaving no room for discussion, “I’m picking you up for supper and we can discuss your eating habits. Then we’ll talk about your work habits. I don’t want you overdoing it. Remember, I said, light duty.”
Rodney lifted his chin, defiantly, “Carson, I’m sitting at my desk all day. How is that not light duty?”
Pointing at him, Carson demanded lightly, “Stand up.”
“What?”
“Stand up.”
“Fine.” Rodney stood up and grabbed for the desk to support himself, dizzy and sore from sitting so long. Carson was there to hold him up. Rodney slumped into his chair, and snarled as he dared a look up, “You’re gloating.” Carson gave him a cheeky grin but remained silent.
Zelenka, who had been watching the interchange, spoke up without even lifting his head from his computer. “Go with him to eat, Rodney. I don’t want your job any more. If you relapse, I will let Kavanaugh reign over your kingdom and you’ll be left with the remains.”
Rodney shot him his best intimidating glare, “Don’t you have work to do?”
“Yes of course, I am doing your work and my own, so I am very busy, too busy to nursemaid stubborn scientist. Go with Carson. Relax so you can come back tomorrow and day after that and day after....”
“Shut up, Radek.”
Kavanaugh chose that moment to enter the lab, stopping suddenly, surprised to see McKay at his desk. Rodney barely looked at him, “Oh look I’m back! Sorry to disappoint you, Kavanaugh. Go away.” When he did glance up at the inept scientist he had to bite back a laugh at the black eye he was sporting and…Rodney couldn’t hold it in any longer and snorted back a laugh at the man’s hair.
Looking over his laptop, Radek asked Rodney innocently, “Is military cut, yes?”
Kavanaugh gave Zelenka a pointed glare, but spoke to McKay as if he were glass. “I didn’t know you’d returned. I brought the specs for the recycling system.” The man was practically shaking as he deposited the papers, eyeing Doctor Beckett cautiously as he backed away from the desk. “I…uh…I’ll just leave them.”
His eyes darted between Zelenka and Beckett nervously and he continued to retreat from the room, “It was…a… um.” Kavanaugh backed into the wall instead of the door, then scrambled to get away.
As soon as he was gone, Rodney was laughing out loud. “What bug crawled up his ass? And what happened to his hair?”
“Is very sad story, really.” Pushing up his glasses, Radek continued, “I took him to help with ventilation system and as we were working…”
Rodney interrupted, slightly irritated, “We just worked on it a few weeks ago. What’s wrong with it now?”
“I did not say there was anything wrong. “Is important he know system so he can fix it when you are busy. System is dangerous, no? All those turning parts. I tell him be careful but he is Kavanaugh, he listens only to Kavanaugh. Before you know it, ponytail is caught and he is crying like baby. I tried to shut the machine off but there was no time.”
Rodney shot him an incredulous look, “Why didn’t you just remove the crystal?”
Radek shrugged innocently, “I did not think of it.”
“And I suppose it never occurred to anyone else either?”
“Nope.” Radek shook his head, smiling. “Is good thing I had my knife or he would have been scalped like Indian. He was very grateful. Too bad only barber is military.” When Rodney eyed him suspiciously, Radek smiled slyly, “I was going to cut it off in his sleep. This was better, yes?”
Carson was smiling, “You never said anything about cutting his hair. I thought you’d already finished with him.”
“What did you do Radek?” Rodney asked with a rising curiosity.
“I only rearranged his room,” said Radek, shrugging.
“He managed to cram every piece of furniture into the bathroom.” Carson chuckled, “Then he made sure the man was well and truly liquored up before walking him to his room. As soon as the door closed behind Kavanaugh he locked him in.”
“I did not lock him in. Is not my fault the door malfunctioned, took me hours to release him.”
Carson was laughing, “And the live feed was a nice touch by the way. Seeing the man hop around trying to remove furniture so he could get into his own bathroom was priceless.”
Rodney asked with a raised eyebrow, “Did he…?”
Radek nodded his head, adding mischievously “It was sad to see grown man with so little control.”
Rodney smiled as he half snorted, “Remind me not to piss you off. Where did he get the black eye?”
Radek leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he answered, “Major Sheppard and the others did not take too kindly to him harassing a teammate. Teyla is strong woman, with hard hand. He is lucky that Doctor Weir arrived.” A word here and a word there about what Kavanaugh had done to McKay and he was a marked man, just as Zelenka knew he would be. Personally the black eye was too light a punishment from the Czech’s point of view, but it helped to know that the obnoxious scientist wasn’t welcome in most circles these days. In fact, he’d pretty much been shunned by everyone, including the military contingent.
“He will not forget again,” said Radek, his tone serious.
Sitting quietly, Rodney’s face hardened, “I don’t need help fighting my battles.” It was one thing for the scientists to go after one of their own, but involving Sheppard and his men was another.
“Is not a battle, Rodney. He is spoiled man-child. You are loud ass most of time and rude and…”
Rodney stared at him, annoyed. “Is this going somewhere?”
“You are friend, so is not battle,” said Radek, matter of factly and returned to his work. The two men fought everyday, but they had become friends along the way and respected each other. Rodney was still taken by surprise by the sentiment.
It had taken time for many of the scientists to realize that Rodney was in charge for a reason. They were used to being number one in their fields and the smartest of the smartest. It was unsettling for some to deal with McKay when they found they weren’t top of the heap anymore. Kavanaugh and his cronies were among the worst.
If he found fault with their work, it was usually for a reason. With time they’d come to respect his wealth of information, and had witnessed his uncanny ability to come up with solutions to life threatening problems. Rodney had seen up close what many of them did not when they’d first arrived on Atlantis. This was not a lab situation where they could sit idly by and do research at their leisure. This was life or death and even the smallest miscalculation or mistake could cost lives. Each of them came to terms with that on their own time and slowly came around to McKay’s thinking, working harder to meet his expectations in the process. Those like Kavanaugh, that still thought too highly of themselves to look at the bigger picture, were few and far between. Rodney had earned the respect of the others and while not all would consider him a ‘friend’, they knew they could count on him to treat their lives as equally as his own.
Radek met Carson’s gaze, “Take him so I do not have to watch him eat. Is not pretty.”
Carson helped a stunned Rodney to his feet, “Come on then. Let’s get some food in you so you don’t leave Radek with too much work. He complains almost as much as you do.”
Rodney let himself be lead, but entering the hallway he pulled from Carson’s grasp, asking with a frown, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would they do that for me?”
“Contrary to what you might think, you’ve a lot of friends and not just your team.”
“My team fed me to the wolves,” said Rodney, bitterness lacing his voice.
“That’s not true.”
“Are you defending them now, Carson?”
Shaking his head, Carson answered, “You know I’m not, but I know that they’ve had a hard time of it too. They know they’ve what they did, but they don’t know how to fix it any more than you do.”
Rodney replied stiffly, “Who says I want it fixed?”
Carson knew better, judging by the look in Rodney’s eyes. He may say one thing but he was feeling lost without his teammates. As much as Carson wished things to be better for Rodney, it wasn’t his decision and no amount of talking was going to change that. He suspected now that Rodney was out of his room and working again, it would be harder for him to avoid his teammates and perhaps he would allow them the chance to talk it through.
*********
Teyla was surprised to find Doctor McKay working out in the gym one night several days later, and silently watched as he practiced, unaware of her presence. She slipped away unnoticed after several minutes but returning the next day at the same late hour of the night and found him there again. Easing into the room, she watched him until noticing her, he stopped. “You are doing well. I had hoped you would continue.”
He eyed her cautiously, before coming up with a response, feeling as though he had to justify himself. “There’s really no need, but I find it… relaxing.” In reality, he wanted to stay in shape. He felt better about himself and in this fucked up world they were living in, it couldn’t hurt. That and he hadn’t been lying when he said it was relaxing. After a day in the lab, it was a nice way to wind down and sleep came much easier. Tired from the workout and surprised to be found out, he put the sticks away.
“I am glad then,” said Teyla, moving further in to the room. She watched as he took a towel from his bag and wipe his face, doing his best to ignore her presence. Sensing his unease, Teyla spoke again, “I see that you are still favoring your wrist. If you would like, I could teach you some moves that will strengthen it but not put too much strain on it.”
Rodney sat down, rubbing the soreness in his wrist away. He hesitated at Teyla’s offer, knowing she was only trying to help, but he wasn’t feeling too sociable at the moment. It came as a shock to realize he’d missed her, missed their workouts, but he still couldn’t make himself accept her help. He rose off the bench, shaking his head as he grabbed for his bag, stuttering an excuse, “I need to get back to the lab.”
“Perhaps another time.” Teyla didn’t push him, but he saw the disappointment in her face. He left the room, not wanting to admit how much it hurt to see that look in her eyes.
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson
Rating: R for language
Summary: John finds out that Rodney is gay and it tests the bonds of friendship.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 15
Rodney was returning to work almost two weeks later under strict orders from Carson not to overdo it. His back was still sore and tender, making him cautious about moving too quickly. With his wrist healing and the bruises fading, he was no longer content to stay confined to his room. Carson had taken an entire week to care for him and spoil him, to the point that Rodney was feeling guilty about holing up in his room. It wasn’t enough to sit around, even with his laptop, and he’d talked Carson into letting him return to work.
They’d talked a lot and Rodney worked through a few things but still couldn’t see his way to forgive his teammates. Rodney told Carson all about what the Kinoban’s did, but couldn’t find the words to explain what Pojan had done in the final test. How he’d made him suffer so that Sheppard could have an epiphany. Sadly, Rodney had his own epiphany in those final moments but he kept that to himself. It was too hard to talk about and in the final analysis it no longer mattered. He was off the team and it was time to move on.
He knew the others felt remorse for what he’d gone through but they still didn’t understand. They thought he’d trained with them to fit in. It was more he felt the need to contribute and do his part. He’d done it so he could hold his head up, knowing he’d done everything he could to protect them if the need arose. It was never about fitting in.
Leaving his room for the first time in two weeks, Rodney glanced up and down the hall, making sure it was clear before beginning his trek to the lab. It had taken some work, but he’d convinced Carson he didn’t need an escort. He had no doubt he’d see him before the morning was out. Even with a slower pace, Rodney found himself getting tired and he stopped, leaning against the wall for a moment.
He startled at the familiar voice behind him, “You alright, McKay?”
Rodney pushed away from the wall and kept walking, “What do you want?”
“Nothing, just thought since you’re back on your feet we could talk.”
Sparing Sheppard a sideways glace, Rodney huffed, “Didn’t I make myself clear enough, Major. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I guess you didn’t use small enough words,” quipped Sheppard, throwing McKay’s words back at him and refusing to let the sour mood daunt him.
The sarcasm wasn’t lost on Rodney, but he really wasn’t in the mood for bantering. “Look I’ll make this as simple as possible, even for you. You made everything perfectly clear, Major. I’m not so dense that I can’t take the hint. You’re done with me, over, finished. All your dreams come true. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
John grabbed for him, spinning him around, removing his hand when Rodney winced at the harsh treatment. “I’m sorry, alright. If I could do it over again I would, but I can’t. Can’t you at least give me a chance to explain?” He hesitated before continuing, almost shyly, “I was wrong. I fucked up. It wasn’t you Rodney, it was me.”
Rodney grunted, “I feel better all ready. Is this where we fight it out, have a few beers and all will be well in the world again?”
Rolling his eyes, Sheppard shook his head, “Shut up and listen. This is important.”
“Oh, I’m sure it is…in your mind.” Rodney started walking again.
Undeterred, John followed. “I had a friend once, he was gay. He used our friendship and it got men killed. Men died because I trusted him to keep his private life out of the field.”
Rodney stopped in his tracks and stared at John as if he’d grown two heads. “You think I’m upset because of the gay thing? It isn’t about that. Well not really. It’s about my position on the team, Major. I thought we were friends. I thought I could trust you and I find out, in a rather shocking way I might add, that you thought I was liability. You’ll forgive me if I find that disturbing, Major.”
“I never wanted you to get hurt. You’re my friend.”
“I must have missed that part.” Rodney’s tone leveled off, speaking as if it really didn’t matter to him, “Look, Major, this is going nowhere and I really do have work to do. If it eases your conscience any, I really do look forward to no more missions. I can concentrate on my own work without being interrupted every few days, risking life and limb with little return.”
His words were flung out carelessly, but John knew better. “We want you back on the team, McKay. You don’t have to leave. We can work this out.”
Rodney shook his head, “No, we can’t.” He walked away without looking back.
Entering the lab, Rodney was glad to find it empty but for Zelenka. He could deal with Radek, the man gave as good as he got and wasn’t offended by Rodney’s moodiness. McKay sat at his desk with barely a nod at the Czech scientist and got to work.
Absorbed in the latest calculations for converting naquada power to the ancient systems, Rodney didn’t realize the time that had passed. The rustle of material on his right drew his attention and he lifted his head to find Carson standing with his arms crossed and looking rather displeased, “I missed you at lunch.”
Glancing at his watch, Rodney was surprised to see it was almost two o’clock. “Sorry, I must have lost track of time. I’ll meet you for supper, how’s that?”
“And what about lunch? You need to eat.”
Duly chastised, Rodney reached into his desk and pulled out a Powerbar, holding it proudly for Carson to see, “Lunch!”
Carson went into Doctor mode, leaving no room for discussion, “I’m picking you up for supper and we can discuss your eating habits. Then we’ll talk about your work habits. I don’t want you overdoing it. Remember, I said, light duty.”
Rodney lifted his chin, defiantly, “Carson, I’m sitting at my desk all day. How is that not light duty?”
Pointing at him, Carson demanded lightly, “Stand up.”
“What?”
“Stand up.”
“Fine.” Rodney stood up and grabbed for the desk to support himself, dizzy and sore from sitting so long. Carson was there to hold him up. Rodney slumped into his chair, and snarled as he dared a look up, “You’re gloating.” Carson gave him a cheeky grin but remained silent.
Zelenka, who had been watching the interchange, spoke up without even lifting his head from his computer. “Go with him to eat, Rodney. I don’t want your job any more. If you relapse, I will let Kavanaugh reign over your kingdom and you’ll be left with the remains.”
Rodney shot him his best intimidating glare, “Don’t you have work to do?”
“Yes of course, I am doing your work and my own, so I am very busy, too busy to nursemaid stubborn scientist. Go with Carson. Relax so you can come back tomorrow and day after that and day after....”
“Shut up, Radek.”
Kavanaugh chose that moment to enter the lab, stopping suddenly, surprised to see McKay at his desk. Rodney barely looked at him, “Oh look I’m back! Sorry to disappoint you, Kavanaugh. Go away.” When he did glance up at the inept scientist he had to bite back a laugh at the black eye he was sporting and…Rodney couldn’t hold it in any longer and snorted back a laugh at the man’s hair.
Looking over his laptop, Radek asked Rodney innocently, “Is military cut, yes?”
Kavanaugh gave Zelenka a pointed glare, but spoke to McKay as if he were glass. “I didn’t know you’d returned. I brought the specs for the recycling system.” The man was practically shaking as he deposited the papers, eyeing Doctor Beckett cautiously as he backed away from the desk. “I…uh…I’ll just leave them.”
His eyes darted between Zelenka and Beckett nervously and he continued to retreat from the room, “It was…a… um.” Kavanaugh backed into the wall instead of the door, then scrambled to get away.
As soon as he was gone, Rodney was laughing out loud. “What bug crawled up his ass? And what happened to his hair?”
“Is very sad story, really.” Pushing up his glasses, Radek continued, “I took him to help with ventilation system and as we were working…”
Rodney interrupted, slightly irritated, “We just worked on it a few weeks ago. What’s wrong with it now?”
“I did not say there was anything wrong. “Is important he know system so he can fix it when you are busy. System is dangerous, no? All those turning parts. I tell him be careful but he is Kavanaugh, he listens only to Kavanaugh. Before you know it, ponytail is caught and he is crying like baby. I tried to shut the machine off but there was no time.”
Rodney shot him an incredulous look, “Why didn’t you just remove the crystal?”
Radek shrugged innocently, “I did not think of it.”
“And I suppose it never occurred to anyone else either?”
“Nope.” Radek shook his head, smiling. “Is good thing I had my knife or he would have been scalped like Indian. He was very grateful. Too bad only barber is military.” When Rodney eyed him suspiciously, Radek smiled slyly, “I was going to cut it off in his sleep. This was better, yes?”
Carson was smiling, “You never said anything about cutting his hair. I thought you’d already finished with him.”
“What did you do Radek?” Rodney asked with a rising curiosity.
“I only rearranged his room,” said Radek, shrugging.
“He managed to cram every piece of furniture into the bathroom.” Carson chuckled, “Then he made sure the man was well and truly liquored up before walking him to his room. As soon as the door closed behind Kavanaugh he locked him in.”
“I did not lock him in. Is not my fault the door malfunctioned, took me hours to release him.”
Carson was laughing, “And the live feed was a nice touch by the way. Seeing the man hop around trying to remove furniture so he could get into his own bathroom was priceless.”
Rodney asked with a raised eyebrow, “Did he…?”
Radek nodded his head, adding mischievously “It was sad to see grown man with so little control.”
Rodney smiled as he half snorted, “Remind me not to piss you off. Where did he get the black eye?”
Radek leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he answered, “Major Sheppard and the others did not take too kindly to him harassing a teammate. Teyla is strong woman, with hard hand. He is lucky that Doctor Weir arrived.” A word here and a word there about what Kavanaugh had done to McKay and he was a marked man, just as Zelenka knew he would be. Personally the black eye was too light a punishment from the Czech’s point of view, but it helped to know that the obnoxious scientist wasn’t welcome in most circles these days. In fact, he’d pretty much been shunned by everyone, including the military contingent.
“He will not forget again,” said Radek, his tone serious.
Sitting quietly, Rodney’s face hardened, “I don’t need help fighting my battles.” It was one thing for the scientists to go after one of their own, but involving Sheppard and his men was another.
“Is not a battle, Rodney. He is spoiled man-child. You are loud ass most of time and rude and…”
Rodney stared at him, annoyed. “Is this going somewhere?”
“You are friend, so is not battle,” said Radek, matter of factly and returned to his work. The two men fought everyday, but they had become friends along the way and respected each other. Rodney was still taken by surprise by the sentiment.
It had taken time for many of the scientists to realize that Rodney was in charge for a reason. They were used to being number one in their fields and the smartest of the smartest. It was unsettling for some to deal with McKay when they found they weren’t top of the heap anymore. Kavanaugh and his cronies were among the worst.
If he found fault with their work, it was usually for a reason. With time they’d come to respect his wealth of information, and had witnessed his uncanny ability to come up with solutions to life threatening problems. Rodney had seen up close what many of them did not when they’d first arrived on Atlantis. This was not a lab situation where they could sit idly by and do research at their leisure. This was life or death and even the smallest miscalculation or mistake could cost lives. Each of them came to terms with that on their own time and slowly came around to McKay’s thinking, working harder to meet his expectations in the process. Those like Kavanaugh, that still thought too highly of themselves to look at the bigger picture, were few and far between. Rodney had earned the respect of the others and while not all would consider him a ‘friend’, they knew they could count on him to treat their lives as equally as his own.
Radek met Carson’s gaze, “Take him so I do not have to watch him eat. Is not pretty.”
Carson helped a stunned Rodney to his feet, “Come on then. Let’s get some food in you so you don’t leave Radek with too much work. He complains almost as much as you do.”
Rodney let himself be lead, but entering the hallway he pulled from Carson’s grasp, asking with a frown, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would they do that for me?”
“Contrary to what you might think, you’ve a lot of friends and not just your team.”
“My team fed me to the wolves,” said Rodney, bitterness lacing his voice.
“That’s not true.”
“Are you defending them now, Carson?”
Shaking his head, Carson answered, “You know I’m not, but I know that they’ve had a hard time of it too. They know they’ve what they did, but they don’t know how to fix it any more than you do.”
Rodney replied stiffly, “Who says I want it fixed?”
Carson knew better, judging by the look in Rodney’s eyes. He may say one thing but he was feeling lost without his teammates. As much as Carson wished things to be better for Rodney, it wasn’t his decision and no amount of talking was going to change that. He suspected now that Rodney was out of his room and working again, it would be harder for him to avoid his teammates and perhaps he would allow them the chance to talk it through.
*********
Teyla was surprised to find Doctor McKay working out in the gym one night several days later, and silently watched as he practiced, unaware of her presence. She slipped away unnoticed after several minutes but returning the next day at the same late hour of the night and found him there again. Easing into the room, she watched him until noticing her, he stopped. “You are doing well. I had hoped you would continue.”
He eyed her cautiously, before coming up with a response, feeling as though he had to justify himself. “There’s really no need, but I find it… relaxing.” In reality, he wanted to stay in shape. He felt better about himself and in this fucked up world they were living in, it couldn’t hurt. That and he hadn’t been lying when he said it was relaxing. After a day in the lab, it was a nice way to wind down and sleep came much easier. Tired from the workout and surprised to be found out, he put the sticks away.
“I am glad then,” said Teyla, moving further in to the room. She watched as he took a towel from his bag and wipe his face, doing his best to ignore her presence. Sensing his unease, Teyla spoke again, “I see that you are still favoring your wrist. If you would like, I could teach you some moves that will strengthen it but not put too much strain on it.”
Rodney sat down, rubbing the soreness in his wrist away. He hesitated at Teyla’s offer, knowing she was only trying to help, but he wasn’t feeling too sociable at the moment. It came as a shock to realize he’d missed her, missed their workouts, but he still couldn’t make himself accept her help. He rose off the bench, shaking his head as he grabbed for his bag, stuttering an excuse, “I need to get back to the lab.”
“Perhaps another time.” Teyla didn’t push him, but he saw the disappointment in her face. He left the room, not wanting to admit how much it hurt to see that look in her eyes.
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It's that I know you, and what you're capable of *coughanythingcough* and I should know better than to give ideas like that to you.
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*can't belive she just said you can whump John* I think I need sleep. Either that, or some really good McShep p0rn.
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