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Title: Unspoken
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson Sheppard Friendship
Rating: R for language
Summary: After finding out about Rodney and Carson’s relationship, John’s friendship with Rodney is threatened.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 23
Rodney closed his eyes, but it didn’t do anything to ease the growing headache he’d been suffering all day. Off and on he’d seen bright flashes of light, and yet when he opened his eyes, all he could see was darkness. Besides making him irritable it was pissing him off. He wasn’t having a particularly good day and the added boredom wasn’t helping.
When Sheppard, Teyla and Ford all showed up in the afternoon his normal suspicious nature were overruled in favor of break from the monotony. “I don’t suppose anyone brought food?”
“No way, McKay. Carson made a point of describing the consequences. That and I don’t think you really want to throw up. You haven’t eaten in almost three weeks. I doubt even your cast iron stomach can handle solid food.”
Sneering, Rodney slumped back onto the bed, “Thanks for the visual, Major. If you didn’t bring food why are you here?” I trust it’s not just to torment me.”
John shrugged, laughing, “Well that was the real reason actually.”
Rodney sighed dramatically, “Oh lucky me. Just when I think the day can’t get any worse.”
“I will bring you some of the Athosian sweet bread you like so much once Dr. Beckett says that is okay to do so,” Teyla said. Rodney could hear the sincerity in her voice and he smiled gratefully. Another bright flash behind his eyes made him wince. Closing his eyes, he rubbed at them, hoping for the pain to go away.
“You okay, Doc?” Ford asked, “You don’t look so hot.”
Waving away the concern, he nodded, “Fine, fine.” Changing the subject, McKay asked warily, “So is there a reason you all decided to show up at that same time or is it a mere coincidence?”
The three teammates looked nervously at one another, before Teyla rolled her eyes at her tightlipped companions and began speaking. “We would like to thank you for all that you did in freeing us on that planet. You showed everyone, not only ourselves, that you are quite capable of in the field. We only wish that you had not been put in such an extreme situation for us to see what you are really made of. For that we apologize and hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive us. We would like very much if you would consider rejoining the team.”
Major Sheppard shifted uncomfortably at the stunned expression on McKay’s face, but felt the need to say something. He nodded towards Teyla. “What she said.”
Ford jumped in, supplying with a nervous stutter, “Yeah… me too.”
“Why?” Rodney was genuinely puzzled, his pounding head only adding to his confusion.
“Because we’re a team, McKay and whether you believe it or not, it’s not the same without you. Besides, I feel a lot safer knowing you’re watching our asses rather than someone like Muro or Dvorsky.”
“Well considering they are both idiots, that’s not surprising,” Rodney smirked. He was about to add that he would have to think about their offer when the flashes of light he’d been experiencing all morning intensified and he was suddenly blindsided by the pain behind his eyes. Grabbing his head, he rocked forward, and moaned at the agonizing ache.
“Rodney, what’s wrong?” Alarmed, Sheppard reached out and tried to grab for him, only to have his hands batted away.
Thrashing in pain, their questions went unanswered as Rodney fought against the blinding headache and rising nausea. It was worse than any migraine and the flashing was more persistent, refusing him any relief. In a desperate attempt to flee, he lurched off the bed only to have his knees buckle from under him. Sheppard jumped out of his chair. He and Teyla both grabbed for McKay and barely managed to get him to the floor when he began throwing up.
Fear raced through John and he shouted at Ford, “Get Carson!”
Teyla did her best to try and soothe Rodney, who on his hands and knees still heaving. Her hand rubbed his back in small circles while Major Sheppard supported him through the dry heaves. As the stomach convulsions eased, Rodney slumped to the floor, his hands clenching and unclenching with the waves of pain that coincided with the flashing lights behind his eyes.
Lifting Rodney’s head off the floor, John let it rest on his leg while they anxiously waited for Carson to arrive. McKay’s face was very pale and pinched tight with pain. His breathing was shallow, his pulse fast and the occasional whimper was heart wrenching to hear.
Carson burst into the room and seeing Rodney lying on the floor in obvious pain shocked him. Rushing to his side, he immediately began asking questions. “Rodney, where does it hurt?”
Turning his head towards Carson’s voice, Rodney opened his eyes and quickly shut them, swallowing hard to stop the rising bile in his throat. “Light hurts,” hissed Rodney, clenching his eyes tight.
Leaning over Rodney, Carson cautiously peeled back an eyelid and shined his penlight in his eye. Breathing in harsh pants, sweat broke out on Rodney’s brow as he frantically pushed the offending light from his eye. Grabbing his head, he turned away as he cried out, “Stop!”
“How long has it been hurting?” Carson asked, worried but keeping his tone professional.
“Couple hours…getting worse,” Rodney rasped between breaths, curling up tightly against the pain.
Returning the light to his pocket, Carson closed his eyes for a second, concentrating and the lights in the room dimmed considerably. Looking at one of the nurses, he ordered, “Go find Dr. Mills.”
Returning his attention to Rodney he said softly, dropping a hand to his shoulder, “Let’s get you back in bed. It’ll be more comfortable than the floor. Lieutenant, help me here. Teyla, please help Major Sheppard.”
Once Rodney was back in bed, Carson absently stroked his arm as he glanced at the others. “Why don’t you wait outside? I won’t know anything until Dr. Mills has a chance to look at him.”
They nodded reluctantly, leaving the room as Dr. Mills entered. They all took seats outside and waited, watching as nurses came and went. It was almost an hour before Dr. Mills appeared with any news. The bad news was that Rodney had suffered a severe migraine. The good news was that the flashes he reported ‘seeing’ were actually the nerve firing and the resulting impulses appeared as flashes of light. Rodney still couldn’t see but the activity in the nerves was very encouraging and Dr. Mills seemed confident that his sight would eventually return as the swelling continued to recede.
*********
Rodney was barely awake when Major Sheppard’s voice brought drifted into the room. “Nice shades, McKay,” his tone oozed sarcasm.
Momentarily disoriented, Rodney reached for his face and felt the sunglasses Dr. Mills insisted he wear. His eyesight was returning slowly, but everything remained blurry. Given his history of migraines and the added photosensitivity, the doctor had prescribed the goggle-like sunglasses as a precaution. Rodney hated them but given a migraine over the shades, he’d opted for the unflattering sunglasses.
Obviously, Sheppard wasn’t beneath teasing him about them. “You can replace the lenses with one green and one red and you’ll be all set for the 3D film festival marathon.”
“Mock the blind man, asshole.”
The major laughed, “No problem. You’d think the Ancients could come up with something a little more aesthetically pleasing than that.”
“New word of the day, Major?” quipped McKay, his mouth turned up slightly at the corner as he added, “Maybe they weren’t concerned about the fashion police knocking down their doors like you are. I’m sure when one becomes a corporeal being, vanity tends to go by the wayside.”
John shrugged, “Good point. So what’s on the schedule for today?”
Rodney snorted unenthusiastically, “I thought I’d stare blindly at the ceiling for several hours. You?”
“Physical therapy for an hour or so, check on the troops, paperwork.”
“And here I was thinking that my morning was boring.” Lifting up on his elbows, McKay looked towards the Major, asking hesitantly, “How are your legs doing?”
Smiling, Sheppard answered, “Better. I can stand up now and walking is getting easier, but Carson and Dr. Mills are like evil watchdogs. They’ve threatened everyone on the base to rat me out if I even think about overdoing it.”
“No doubt they excelled in Despotism 101 in medical school. Probably a good thing in your case since you don’t generally do well with the ‘you need to rest’ school of thought.”
Sheppard’s mouth upturned in a smirk, “I give you a day before you’re trying to needle your way out of here.”
Flopping back on the bed, Rodney sighed heavily, “I’m thinking half a day, tops.”
Nudging Rodney’s leg, Sheppard countered, “I hear Kavanaugh has a stash of chocolate hidden away in his lab. Think you’ll be up for it.”
Rodney was grinning, “When?”
“Tonight.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I can’t see, Major.”
John rolled his eyes and sighed indignantly, “Fine, you can play the mastermind this time and I’ll drive.”
“This time?” Your brain was damaged wasn’t it? Who rigged the dye in his shower last time?”
Content that McKay was riled enough, Sheppard headed towards the door, “Well I gotta run, I’m sure your genius brain will come up with something by midnight.”
“Or what, I turn into a pumpkin?”
Laughing on his way out the door, Sheppard answered over his shoulder, “I was thinking one of the mice actually.”
“Oh ha ha, Major. Your sense of humor wounds me.”
*******
Rodney was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, when something landed in his lap startling him.
The major’s voice came next, “Ditch the dork glasses.”
His hand fumbled for whatever was in his lap as he retorted, “Yes, as nice as that sounds, I’d really rather not suffer a debilitating headache while wandering the halls at one o’clock in the morning. It tends to put a damper on the sneaking part.”
A smile graced his face as he recognized what was in his lap. Slipping the goggles off his face, he replaced them with a pair of real wraparound sunglasses. “Who did you steal these from?”
John shrugged, “Some unknowing Marine.”
Rodney paled and flashed him a pointed glare. “Oh that’s great, he can beat the hell out of me and I’ll never see it coming. Thanks so much, Major.”
“I’ll protect you,” John said, standing up to help McKay out of bed.
“Thank makes me feel so much better,” quipped Rodney.
Edging to the side of the bed, Rodney eased to his feet and grabbed for the rail when his world tilted suddenly. John reached out to steady him, “Maybe we should do this another time.”
Waving him off, Rodney said determinedly, “I’m fine.”
Positioning the wheelchair, John guided McKay towards it. “Okay, you ride, I’ll drive.”
Rodney balked, “You aren’t supposed to be walking.”
“We’re using the transporter. I think I can manage.” Dropping a hand on McKay’s shoulder he pushed him into the chair. “Sit.”
“Pushy bastard,” huffed Rodney, crossing his arms indignantly as he sat down.
Opening the door, John peeked out and seeing no one, quickly pushed Rodney out into the hall. They made it to the transporter unnoticed and both released a sigh of relief. Wiping his brow, McKay muttered, “This is insane.”
John laughed, “Great rush.”
“You’re warped, you know that?”
Sneaking out of the transporter near the labs, Sheppard smiled crookedly, “Oh come on, McKay, admit it. You’ve become an adrenalin junkie. It’s why you wanted to go on that last mission.”
“Ha! A lot you know. I went so I could make sure it was done right. I have idiots working for me.”
“You are so full of shit, Rodney,” teased Sheppard, with a laugh. He bent over as he pushed the chair towards Kavanaugh’s lab. “Who would ever have thought a lab rat like yourself would…”
Pointing towards the end of the hall, Rodney cut him off in a hushed voice, “If you don’t want to give us away, I suggest you shut up.”
Nearing the door, they snuck forward until they were sure there was no one in the darkened lab. Entering, John turned up the lights while Rodney pointed to one the shelves on his right. “Look under the pencil holder. There should be a key.”
Sheppard did as instructed and held up his prize, “Got it. What does it open?”
“The small crate over in the corner. There should be another key inside.”
Already finding the crate, John knelt to open it. “Why more than one key?”
“He’s seems to think that it will make it impossible to get into his stash.”
“Obviously he underestimated your chocolate radar.” Grabbing the next key, he asked, “Okay, now where?”
“There’s another box under his desk.”
Sheppard rolled his eyes, “Well I certainly wouldn’t have thought to look there.”
“He welded it to the floor,” laughed Rodney. “He works under the delusion that he can taunt us because we don’t have the key.”
“He really is an idiot.” Following Sheppard to the desk, Rodney waited for him to open the box. He wasn’t really surprised by John’s exclamation, “There’s enough here to last a couple months. Does he actually eat it?”
“He hates the stuff. He uses it to bribe his friends.”
John said smugly, “He doesn’t have any friends.”
Rodney gestured to the box, “Now you know why he has so much chocolate, he never has a chance to use it.”
Grabbing several handfuls, Sheppard dumped them in McKay’s lap. “I suppose I should leave him some.” Rummaging through the box, John’s hand found a bottle and held it up. “Oh man, the son of a bitch has booze in here. Where’d he get that?”
Sitting up straighter, Rodney smiled, “Really?”
Putting things back in the box, Sheppard grinned mischievously, “Must be our lucky day. Okay, we’ll leave the chocolate, but only because he has liquor.”
Rodney grabbed several bars and held them to his chest before Sheppard could put it all back. He looked at McKay hording them, “Greedy bastard.”
“It’s chocolate,” insisted Rodney, keeping a firm grip on his stash and daring Sheppard to take it away.
“Fine. You keep your chocolate and I keep the booze.”
“I’ll share,” whined Rodney.
Shuffling out from under the desk, John dropped the bottle in McKay’s lap. “Pouting does not work with me, McKay.” He returned all the keys and they made a hasty retreat from the room.
Rodney was opening the bottle and taking a swig before they even made the transporter.
“Hey!” Sheppard grabbed it out of McKay’s hand and took a deep drink of his own. He shuddered as it went down, “That’s stout.”
“It should be. He was making it himself until Elizabeth caught him. I thought he’d learned his lesson after that ass-chewing.”
“Well, he can hardly complain it’s missing than can he? How about we find a place to enjoy it?” Taking another swig, he handed it back to McKay, who took another drink.
Exiting the transporter, Rodney pointed left. “Balcony.”
“Brilliant. I knew there was a reason I hung out with you.” He turned the chair left and headed outside. It was a warm evening and a gentle breeze brought the smell of salty air.
With his back to the wall, Sheppard slide down sighing loudly. It was a relief to get off his feet. His legs were getting stronger, but the trip to and from the lab had been more than he was used to. Rodney set the brakes on the chair and climbing out, sat beside him. “You okay?”
Taking the bottle out of Rodney’s hand he grinned crookedly, “I will be.”
“Yes, well it might be hard to hide if you go stumbling into the infirmary.”
John rolled his eyes again. “It’s not that big of bottle, McKay.”
Rodney reached his hand out for the bottle and Sheppard gave it to him. He took a swallow and stated, “It’s 190 proof.”
Several drinks later, both men were feeling light headed on their way to feeling no pain. They laughed about their escapade before settling into an alcohol induced conversation. “So, you gonna come back to the team?”
“Don’t you ever give up?” said Rodney, taking another drink before letting the bottle drop to his lap.
Sheppard snatched it out of his hand, “No. This is important.”
Closing his eyes, Rodney leaned his head back into the wall. “It’s not about the team.”
“Then what?”
“You were embarrassed to be seen with me. Here, on Atlantis. You were afraid if you associated with me that everyone would think you were gay too.”
“I’m associating with you now,” huffed John, frustrated by McKay’s stubbornness.
“Newsflash, Major. This isn’t exactly the public.”
John sat up, glaring at McKay with a cross between hurt and pissed, “You think that I’m gonna treat you like dirt when others are around, is that it?”
“Well, the thought did cross my mind. Why the sudden change?”
Taking a drink, John sighed deeply, “I talked to my men.”
Rodney looked at him in surprise, “You did?”
Nodding, John started peeling the label off the bottle, which was easier than looking at McKay, “They didn’t seem upset you were gay and I have to admit I found out some rather interesting things.”
“Like what?”
“Did you know Bates was gay?”
“Well duh, you don’t think he does the super military man bullshit because he’s a jerk. Okay, he is a jerk but he’s also under the illusion that being a hard ass tough guy will hide the fact that he likes men.”
“How did you know?” John asked curiously.
Smiling, McKay told him, “He actually congratulated Carson and me.”
Sheppard looked at him in disbelief. “That’s it?”
Rodney shrugged, “He smiled when he said it.”
“Humph. I’ve never actually seen him smile,” said John, jokingly.
Exaggerating a shudder, Rodney countered, “It was scary.”
They both laughed, more at ease having climbed another hump. The alcohol was doing the job and the much needed conversation continued with John. “I was kind of pissed when I found out you went behind my back for help. You could have asked me.”
“Oh please, you would have teased me unmercifully.”
“Would not.” John hesitated and his shoulders slumped. “Okay, maybe I would have, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have helped.”
“It was hard enough to do without your criticism, Major.”
They sat in awkward silence for a few moments, before Sheppard asked quietly, “So why did you do it?”
“Good question.” Rodney reached for the bottle and took a drink before answering, his hands moving in exaggerated motions due to the alcohol. It was also mellowing him and making it easier to speak. His voice had a tinge of resignation as he answered sincerely, “You are all soldiers trained for this shit. Hell, I’ve spent my life in the lab. All of sudden I’m out there with life-sucking aliens and I’m way out of my league. The more time I spent in the field the more I realized that I was a danger to not only myself but to the rest of you.” He paused, adding remorsefully, “You broke your hand because of me.”
“Bullshit. That wasn’t your fault. You were in pain. It could have happened to any one of us. I understand what you’re saying, but this isn’t what you hired on for. The reason the military is here is to protect the rest of you. I asked you to be on the team because I thought you could handle it and you have. Better than any of the other scientists. They can dog you all they want, McKay, but I don’t see any of them volunteering to go out day after day. I know it scares you, but you haven’t given up. I forget sometimes that you aren’t military trained. You’re a scientist and an important part of the team. Christ, how many times have you saved our asses with that brain of yours.”
“Sometimes it’s not enough,” sighed Rodney, dropping his head. He swallowed hard, his next words hard to say, “For the first time in my life I was a part of something really important. Something that makes a difference. I don’t have many friends and I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with.”
“That’s an understatement,” muttered Sheppard.
“Shut up. I’m pouring my heart out. Do you mind?” He sat for a minute, laughed and asked, “Where was I?”
“Lightweight.” John took the bottle away from him. “You were saying something about friends.”
“Right.” His mood changed back to solemn just as quickly as it had gone. “I don’t want to see you or Teyla or Ford get hurt because of me or something I did.”
“Would it help to know that we all worry about the same thing? That’s what being a part of team does to you. If you didn’t give a rat’s ass about each other than it wouldn’t be much of team.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
The silence descended, both men contemplating the conversation, the alcohol making them melancholy and reflective. John nudged Rodney after a few minutes, “I’m sorry about the appendix thing by the way. I was being an asshole.”
Rodney grunted, “No kidding.”
The conversation drifted back and forth between the two of them, exchanging barbs. Handing Rodney the last of the bottle, Sheppard asked, “So come back to the team. I’d feel a lot safer with you watching our backs.”
“I’ll think about it…” Rodney let his head roll back and hit the wall, “Yes.”
“God, you’re easy,” said John, beaming from ear to ear.
“You know, Carson says the same thing.”
“Oh, don’t go there, McKay. I’d rather save puking until the morning if you don’t mind.”
They both started laughing only to be interrupted by a familiar voice in the doorway, “Gentlemen.”
Rodney was smiling broadly when he looked up, too drunk to realize he might be in trouble, “Carson!” He patted the floor beside him, “Have a seat.” He fumbled in his pocket and tried to entice him by waving a candy bar. “We have chocolate!”
Walking closer, Carson squatted in front of Rodney and waved his hand at the alcohol smell coming off of him. He shook his head. “That’s not all you have.”
John came to Rodney’s defense, holding up the empty bottle as he slurred, “Nope, that’s it Carson. See, all gone.”
Carson was trying not to smile, “I don’t know what I’m goin’ to do with the two of you. You’re not even out of the infirmary yet.” He shook his head in resignation, “Come on then, lets get you back where you belong. Can either of you walk?”
Rodney shook his head, snickering, “I rode. He droved.”
It took some effort to get a very limber Rodney into his chair. The major was laughing so hard he had tears rolling down his cheeks as he watched Carson struggling with a very amorous scientist. By the time Rodney was settled, Carson was flushed and looking rather uncomfortable. He glared at Sheppard, “I trust you can act older than twelve by the time I get back.”
Still laughing, John waved him off. “I can get there.” He tried to get to his feet, but kept slipping down the wall.
Carson planted a firm hand to the major’s chest and shook his head, “You just stay still, lad. The last thing you need is to fall and hurt your back again. Then I’d be stuck with you forever and if it’s all the same to you I’d rather not have to dwell on that. I’ll be right back and I expect you to be sitting there.”
John gave him a sloppy salute, “Yes, sir.”
Shaking his head, knowing the man was likely to be asleep when he returned judging by his heavily lidded eyes, Carson gripped the chair Rodney was tilting sideways in and headed for the infirmary. He kept telling himself he should be mad but seeing Rodney and Major Sheppard acting as friends again went a long way in forgiving them for their shenanigans. He supposed he should be used to it and if the conversation he accidentally overheard was any indication, it wouldn’t be the last time. “I hope it was worth it, luv. You’re goin’ to feel it tomorrow.”
An unexpected reply came from a sleepy Rodney, “It was.”
A smile graced Carson’s face and he leaned over to give Rodney’s head a brief kiss. “I know."
Chapter 24
The sun was dipping below the horizon and the wide expanse of ocean reflected back the orange red hues that made for a brilliant sunset. Rodney leaned heavily against the rail, still a little shaky on his feet after so long in bed. It had felt like forever before Carson freed him from the infirmary, but it had only been two weeks. Two weeks of getting his strength back. The headaches and dizziness were less frequent, and Carson reassured him that too would pass with time. His eyesight was better, enough so that he didn’t have to wear the glasses to hide the harsh glare of sunlight.
Lost in thought he was surprised by the warm hand on his back. He turned his head and smiled before gazing back at the sunset. “I never got what people saw in sunrises and sunsets.”
“Until now?” Carson smiled, slipping his hand in Rodney’s, as they watched the sun sink lower.
“Well, I’m usually busy this time of day, and mornings are not my best time of the day. Coffee always seemed more important.”
They both laughed and Rodney slipped his hand free of Carson’s. Stepping sideways to stand behind him, Rodney pulled him into his chest as he wrapped his arms around him. Leaning over Carson’s shoulder, his voice was tight as he half whispered, “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I would have missed that.”
Carson grasped the arm that covered his chest, leaning back into Rodney’s embrace. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better. I don’t think you should be overdoing it though.”
“It’s just a sunset, Carson. I’ll be fine. You said yourself I needed to walk to get my strength back.”
Smiling, Carson patted Rodney’s arm, “This doesn’t look like walking, luv.”
Rodney leaned closer, kissing the doctor’s neck, “I was distracted by the view.”
“Aye, it’s a beautiful sunset.”
Nuzzling Carson’s ear, Rodney grinned, “I wasn’t necessarily thinking of the sunset.”
Shivering, Carson pushed him away a bit, “You are incorrigible and I have to get back to work.”
Rodney pulled him back. “I know, but you still love me.” He tightened his hold and said softly, “Just stay a little longer. Watch the sunset with me.”
Carson nodded, “Alright, just a bit longer then.”
The two stood together, enjoying the closeness as much as the sunset, until it was full dark. Carson reluctantly broke their embrace with a sigh, “I really should get back to work. Are you coming?”
Shaking his head, Rodney said, “No, I think I’ll stay out here for a bit.” He was already leaning over the railing again, staring up at the sky.
Carson dropped a soft kiss on his brow, “Don’t stay too late. You need to rest.”
“Yes, doctor,” quipped Rodney, the affection he said it with took away the bite of sarcasm.
“Don’t be a smartass or I’ll be taking what few privileges you have,” countered Carson, walking towards the balcony door with a grin.
“Not the important one, Carson. Even you’re not that evil,” laughed Rodney, turning to watch Carson leave. It had been an interminable stay in the infirmary and they’d only recently enjoyed some privacy. He wasn’t about to give up that privilege. Not wishing to risk it, he spent only a few more minutes viewing the stars before he returned to his quarters to do some work on his laptop while he waited for Carson.
Several nights later, Rodney was in the same spot watching the sunset when he heard the balcony doors open behind him. Thinking it was Carson he didn’t bother turning around. He was surprised when Major Sheppard settled on the rail beside him. Without a glance, John handed him the familiar wooden box. “Teyla found it in the ready room, thought you might want it back.”
Taking it, Rodney fingered the ornate carvings on the lid. “Not really. That’s why I left it there. I found it in my pack before we left on the last mission.”
John finally turned his head and nodded toward the box, “You earned it.”
Shaking his head, Rodney’s hands stilled, “Humph.” He grabbed the box firmly and was half way tempted to throw in out to sea when Sheppard’s hand stopped him. Rodney glared at him, “What?”
“Have you looked at it? Do you remember what Pojan said about it?”
Rodney sighed irritably, “No and I really don’t want to. I thought we settled all this.” Giving Sheppard a sideways glance, Rodney rolled his eyes when he saw the ‘please’ in John’s eyes. “Oh spare me, that’s pathetic.” The look didn’t fade and Rodney broke, “Fine. You want me to look at it, I’ll look at it.” He snatched the lid off and stared down and the medallion, speechless.
Taking the initiative, John reached over and pulled the medallion out of its box. Wrapping the chain around his fingers, it dangled in his hand as he leaned over the rail. The sun’s rays danced off the metal as it spun slowly before coming to rest. Rodney seemed mesmerized by it and Sheppard spoke, “The warriors thought you were worthy of this or they wouldn’t have given it to you. Let’s see if I can remember.” He lifted the medallion and let it rest in his hand as he pointed to the symbols on it. “They said they stand for courage, strength and integrity.” He frowned but there was a glint in his eye as he added, “Or was that strength, integrity and courage or was it…”
“Major!”
“Right, right. Where was I? Oh yeah…anyway. I know you don’t think too highly of what happened on Kinoban and hell I really couldn’t blame you if you did want to chuck it in the ocean so you didn’t have to remember the place, but the warriors had it right, McKay.”
Rodney was staring at him now, clearly confused. “I know I’m a genius but even I need more to go on if there is any chance of me getting something out of this poetic moment you seem intent on sharing.”
The man just had to make everything difficult, but John found himself smiling nonetheless. “If you would shut up for a second I might get there. Do you mind?”
At the wave of Rodney’s hand John continued, his voice lower, “When we were on that planet and I couldn’t walk and you couldn’t see, it never once occurred to me that you wouldn’t get me out of there. I know you were scared not being able to see, but you went everywhere I led you despite it. You carried my ass outta there, knowing it was that or nothing. I know how hard it was to pack me around but you did it any way, and when you couldn’t carry me you dragged me. It never occurred to you to quit or leave me behind. We wouldn’t have made it out of there if you hadn’t done what you did. They never would have found us in that place, and even if they did, it would’ve been too late. Even after I passed out, you went at it alone because you had no choice. You could’ve sat down and refused to go on, but you didn’t. Instead you sucked it up and freed everybody else. Hell, Rodney, you almost killed yourself making sure we all got out of there.”
He stopped for a moment, letting the words sink in before he nudged McKay lightly. Holding the medallion out for Rodney, he emphasized his words, “Courage, strength and integrity, Rodney. Don’t throw it away because of Kinoban. The warriors didn’t give this to you because of anything you did there, but because of the man you are. You deserve this.”
Rodney took it and looked at it closely. He coughed first, clearing his throat before saying quietly, “It’s a beautiful piece of workmanship. Be a shame to throw it.”
John smiled, “Yeah it would. Maybe you ought to hold on to it.”
Tucking it back into the box, Rodney replaced the lid without saying anything. They stood watching the sunset, shoulder to shoulder and after several minutes Rodney uttered, “Thanks.”
********
Striding down the hall, John was feeling pretty good. His legs were finally back to normal and he and McKay were back on active duty, well sort of. They were still days away from any mission so he went in search of Rodney to see if he wanted to go exploring with him.
Reaching Rodney’s door, he hit the chime after a mental note not to just walk in. Learned that lesson the hard way and he wasn’t likely to forget the image that was forever burned on his brain. He shuddered and hit the chime again, waiting for Rodney to open the door. It opened and he walked in, surprised to find it was Carson that had let him in. He raised a brow and gave him a crooked smile, “Hey Carson, can Rodney come out and play?”
Carson was about to reply when Rodney shouted from the bathroom, “No he can’t. Go away, Major.”
“Ah come on, McKay. I’m bored and you need some exercise.” He looked at Carson for backup. “Doctor’s orders.”
Rodney stepped out of the bathroom at that moment and leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed. Carson’s mouth dropped open and he muttered with a quick drawn breath, “Bloody hell.”
John was surprised first, then laughed and shook his head, “Well now I know what was in the other package.”
“Yes well, it wasn’t meant for you, Major and I doubt very much if Carson is going to side with you on this one.” Rodney was watching Carson’s expression and grinning.
Glancing at the dazed look on Beckett’s face, John chuckled, “He does have that ‘ooo pretty’ look on his face.” Carson kept staring, unaware of anything but Rodney.
Rodney puffed up a bit and countered, “Actually that’s his ‘I’m going to fuck you into the mattress’ look.”
“Eww. That is too much information, McKay.”
“You started it.” Smirking, Rodney glared at him, trying very hard not to appear self conscious, “Don’t you have bullets to count or something equally important to do?”
“I suppose I could find something to occupy my time, since you obviously have plans.” John turned to leave, then stopped and turned towards Carson who was still staring open mouthed and wide eyed at Rodney or more likely the outfit that clung to him like a second skin.
The tight fitting Kinoban outfit left nothing to the imagination and Carson was flush, unable to divert his eyes. This one wasn’t like the ones Rodney had worn on the planet. Instead, it was sleeveless and showcased the muscles in the scientist’s arms. It laced down the front and Rodney had purposely left a good part of it loosely tied so Carson had a very good view of his well toned chest. Rodney was looking rather smug about it and Carson was oblivious to everything but his lover.
Reaching out a single finger, John put it under Beckett’s chin and closed his mouth, teasing at the same time, “You’re drooling, Carson.”
Carson unconsciously reached up to wipe his face, when he realized too late he was being toyed with. He glared at Sheppard, “Oh that’s very funny, Major.”
Glancing over his shoulder as he headed out the door, John couldn’t resist teasing Rodney as well, “Told you he’d like it.”
Only the doors closing shut at the right instant kept him from getting hit in the back of the head with whatever McKay had thrown at him. He was still smiling as he walked away, idly wondering how long it would be before Rodney found him so they could go exploring.
He no longer worried about what anyone thought about the time he and Rodney spent together. They were friends, nothing more, nothing less. There didn’t need to be any heart-wrenching emotional declarations of friendship to know what they had. It was accepted now. They’d passed all the hurdles and tested the limits, realizing in the end that the unspoken trust and friendship would always be there.
THE END
Author: Chaps1870
Pairing: Rodney/Carson Sheppard Friendship
Rating: R for language
Summary: After finding out about Rodney and Carson’s relationship, John’s friendship with Rodney is threatened.
Disclaimer: They belong to someone else, I’ll return them when I’m done….maybe. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Chapter 23
Rodney closed his eyes, but it didn’t do anything to ease the growing headache he’d been suffering all day. Off and on he’d seen bright flashes of light, and yet when he opened his eyes, all he could see was darkness. Besides making him irritable it was pissing him off. He wasn’t having a particularly good day and the added boredom wasn’t helping.
When Sheppard, Teyla and Ford all showed up in the afternoon his normal suspicious nature were overruled in favor of break from the monotony. “I don’t suppose anyone brought food?”
“No way, McKay. Carson made a point of describing the consequences. That and I don’t think you really want to throw up. You haven’t eaten in almost three weeks. I doubt even your cast iron stomach can handle solid food.”
Sneering, Rodney slumped back onto the bed, “Thanks for the visual, Major. If you didn’t bring food why are you here?” I trust it’s not just to torment me.”
John shrugged, laughing, “Well that was the real reason actually.”
Rodney sighed dramatically, “Oh lucky me. Just when I think the day can’t get any worse.”
“I will bring you some of the Athosian sweet bread you like so much once Dr. Beckett says that is okay to do so,” Teyla said. Rodney could hear the sincerity in her voice and he smiled gratefully. Another bright flash behind his eyes made him wince. Closing his eyes, he rubbed at them, hoping for the pain to go away.
“You okay, Doc?” Ford asked, “You don’t look so hot.”
Waving away the concern, he nodded, “Fine, fine.” Changing the subject, McKay asked warily, “So is there a reason you all decided to show up at that same time or is it a mere coincidence?”
The three teammates looked nervously at one another, before Teyla rolled her eyes at her tightlipped companions and began speaking. “We would like to thank you for all that you did in freeing us on that planet. You showed everyone, not only ourselves, that you are quite capable of in the field. We only wish that you had not been put in such an extreme situation for us to see what you are really made of. For that we apologize and hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive us. We would like very much if you would consider rejoining the team.”
Major Sheppard shifted uncomfortably at the stunned expression on McKay’s face, but felt the need to say something. He nodded towards Teyla. “What she said.”
Ford jumped in, supplying with a nervous stutter, “Yeah… me too.”
“Why?” Rodney was genuinely puzzled, his pounding head only adding to his confusion.
“Because we’re a team, McKay and whether you believe it or not, it’s not the same without you. Besides, I feel a lot safer knowing you’re watching our asses rather than someone like Muro or Dvorsky.”
“Well considering they are both idiots, that’s not surprising,” Rodney smirked. He was about to add that he would have to think about their offer when the flashes of light he’d been experiencing all morning intensified and he was suddenly blindsided by the pain behind his eyes. Grabbing his head, he rocked forward, and moaned at the agonizing ache.
“Rodney, what’s wrong?” Alarmed, Sheppard reached out and tried to grab for him, only to have his hands batted away.
Thrashing in pain, their questions went unanswered as Rodney fought against the blinding headache and rising nausea. It was worse than any migraine and the flashing was more persistent, refusing him any relief. In a desperate attempt to flee, he lurched off the bed only to have his knees buckle from under him. Sheppard jumped out of his chair. He and Teyla both grabbed for McKay and barely managed to get him to the floor when he began throwing up.
Fear raced through John and he shouted at Ford, “Get Carson!”
Teyla did her best to try and soothe Rodney, who on his hands and knees still heaving. Her hand rubbed his back in small circles while Major Sheppard supported him through the dry heaves. As the stomach convulsions eased, Rodney slumped to the floor, his hands clenching and unclenching with the waves of pain that coincided with the flashing lights behind his eyes.
Lifting Rodney’s head off the floor, John let it rest on his leg while they anxiously waited for Carson to arrive. McKay’s face was very pale and pinched tight with pain. His breathing was shallow, his pulse fast and the occasional whimper was heart wrenching to hear.
Carson burst into the room and seeing Rodney lying on the floor in obvious pain shocked him. Rushing to his side, he immediately began asking questions. “Rodney, where does it hurt?”
Turning his head towards Carson’s voice, Rodney opened his eyes and quickly shut them, swallowing hard to stop the rising bile in his throat. “Light hurts,” hissed Rodney, clenching his eyes tight.
Leaning over Rodney, Carson cautiously peeled back an eyelid and shined his penlight in his eye. Breathing in harsh pants, sweat broke out on Rodney’s brow as he frantically pushed the offending light from his eye. Grabbing his head, he turned away as he cried out, “Stop!”
“How long has it been hurting?” Carson asked, worried but keeping his tone professional.
“Couple hours…getting worse,” Rodney rasped between breaths, curling up tightly against the pain.
Returning the light to his pocket, Carson closed his eyes for a second, concentrating and the lights in the room dimmed considerably. Looking at one of the nurses, he ordered, “Go find Dr. Mills.”
Returning his attention to Rodney he said softly, dropping a hand to his shoulder, “Let’s get you back in bed. It’ll be more comfortable than the floor. Lieutenant, help me here. Teyla, please help Major Sheppard.”
Once Rodney was back in bed, Carson absently stroked his arm as he glanced at the others. “Why don’t you wait outside? I won’t know anything until Dr. Mills has a chance to look at him.”
They nodded reluctantly, leaving the room as Dr. Mills entered. They all took seats outside and waited, watching as nurses came and went. It was almost an hour before Dr. Mills appeared with any news. The bad news was that Rodney had suffered a severe migraine. The good news was that the flashes he reported ‘seeing’ were actually the nerve firing and the resulting impulses appeared as flashes of light. Rodney still couldn’t see but the activity in the nerves was very encouraging and Dr. Mills seemed confident that his sight would eventually return as the swelling continued to recede.
*********
Rodney was barely awake when Major Sheppard’s voice brought drifted into the room. “Nice shades, McKay,” his tone oozed sarcasm.
Momentarily disoriented, Rodney reached for his face and felt the sunglasses Dr. Mills insisted he wear. His eyesight was returning slowly, but everything remained blurry. Given his history of migraines and the added photosensitivity, the doctor had prescribed the goggle-like sunglasses as a precaution. Rodney hated them but given a migraine over the shades, he’d opted for the unflattering sunglasses.
Obviously, Sheppard wasn’t beneath teasing him about them. “You can replace the lenses with one green and one red and you’ll be all set for the 3D film festival marathon.”
“Mock the blind man, asshole.”
The major laughed, “No problem. You’d think the Ancients could come up with something a little more aesthetically pleasing than that.”
“New word of the day, Major?” quipped McKay, his mouth turned up slightly at the corner as he added, “Maybe they weren’t concerned about the fashion police knocking down their doors like you are. I’m sure when one becomes a corporeal being, vanity tends to go by the wayside.”
John shrugged, “Good point. So what’s on the schedule for today?”
Rodney snorted unenthusiastically, “I thought I’d stare blindly at the ceiling for several hours. You?”
“Physical therapy for an hour or so, check on the troops, paperwork.”
“And here I was thinking that my morning was boring.” Lifting up on his elbows, McKay looked towards the Major, asking hesitantly, “How are your legs doing?”
Smiling, Sheppard answered, “Better. I can stand up now and walking is getting easier, but Carson and Dr. Mills are like evil watchdogs. They’ve threatened everyone on the base to rat me out if I even think about overdoing it.”
“No doubt they excelled in Despotism 101 in medical school. Probably a good thing in your case since you don’t generally do well with the ‘you need to rest’ school of thought.”
Sheppard’s mouth upturned in a smirk, “I give you a day before you’re trying to needle your way out of here.”
Flopping back on the bed, Rodney sighed heavily, “I’m thinking half a day, tops.”
Nudging Rodney’s leg, Sheppard countered, “I hear Kavanaugh has a stash of chocolate hidden away in his lab. Think you’ll be up for it.”
Rodney was grinning, “When?”
“Tonight.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I can’t see, Major.”
John rolled his eyes and sighed indignantly, “Fine, you can play the mastermind this time and I’ll drive.”
“This time?” Your brain was damaged wasn’t it? Who rigged the dye in his shower last time?”
Content that McKay was riled enough, Sheppard headed towards the door, “Well I gotta run, I’m sure your genius brain will come up with something by midnight.”
“Or what, I turn into a pumpkin?”
Laughing on his way out the door, Sheppard answered over his shoulder, “I was thinking one of the mice actually.”
“Oh ha ha, Major. Your sense of humor wounds me.”
*******
Rodney was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, when something landed in his lap startling him.
The major’s voice came next, “Ditch the dork glasses.”
His hand fumbled for whatever was in his lap as he retorted, “Yes, as nice as that sounds, I’d really rather not suffer a debilitating headache while wandering the halls at one o’clock in the morning. It tends to put a damper on the sneaking part.”
A smile graced his face as he recognized what was in his lap. Slipping the goggles off his face, he replaced them with a pair of real wraparound sunglasses. “Who did you steal these from?”
John shrugged, “Some unknowing Marine.”
Rodney paled and flashed him a pointed glare. “Oh that’s great, he can beat the hell out of me and I’ll never see it coming. Thanks so much, Major.”
“I’ll protect you,” John said, standing up to help McKay out of bed.
“Thank makes me feel so much better,” quipped Rodney.
Edging to the side of the bed, Rodney eased to his feet and grabbed for the rail when his world tilted suddenly. John reached out to steady him, “Maybe we should do this another time.”
Waving him off, Rodney said determinedly, “I’m fine.”
Positioning the wheelchair, John guided McKay towards it. “Okay, you ride, I’ll drive.”
Rodney balked, “You aren’t supposed to be walking.”
“We’re using the transporter. I think I can manage.” Dropping a hand on McKay’s shoulder he pushed him into the chair. “Sit.”
“Pushy bastard,” huffed Rodney, crossing his arms indignantly as he sat down.
Opening the door, John peeked out and seeing no one, quickly pushed Rodney out into the hall. They made it to the transporter unnoticed and both released a sigh of relief. Wiping his brow, McKay muttered, “This is insane.”
John laughed, “Great rush.”
“You’re warped, you know that?”
Sneaking out of the transporter near the labs, Sheppard smiled crookedly, “Oh come on, McKay, admit it. You’ve become an adrenalin junkie. It’s why you wanted to go on that last mission.”
“Ha! A lot you know. I went so I could make sure it was done right. I have idiots working for me.”
“You are so full of shit, Rodney,” teased Sheppard, with a laugh. He bent over as he pushed the chair towards Kavanaugh’s lab. “Who would ever have thought a lab rat like yourself would…”
Pointing towards the end of the hall, Rodney cut him off in a hushed voice, “If you don’t want to give us away, I suggest you shut up.”
Nearing the door, they snuck forward until they were sure there was no one in the darkened lab. Entering, John turned up the lights while Rodney pointed to one the shelves on his right. “Look under the pencil holder. There should be a key.”
Sheppard did as instructed and held up his prize, “Got it. What does it open?”
“The small crate over in the corner. There should be another key inside.”
Already finding the crate, John knelt to open it. “Why more than one key?”
“He’s seems to think that it will make it impossible to get into his stash.”
“Obviously he underestimated your chocolate radar.” Grabbing the next key, he asked, “Okay, now where?”
“There’s another box under his desk.”
Sheppard rolled his eyes, “Well I certainly wouldn’t have thought to look there.”
“He welded it to the floor,” laughed Rodney. “He works under the delusion that he can taunt us because we don’t have the key.”
“He really is an idiot.” Following Sheppard to the desk, Rodney waited for him to open the box. He wasn’t really surprised by John’s exclamation, “There’s enough here to last a couple months. Does he actually eat it?”
“He hates the stuff. He uses it to bribe his friends.”
John said smugly, “He doesn’t have any friends.”
Rodney gestured to the box, “Now you know why he has so much chocolate, he never has a chance to use it.”
Grabbing several handfuls, Sheppard dumped them in McKay’s lap. “I suppose I should leave him some.” Rummaging through the box, John’s hand found a bottle and held it up. “Oh man, the son of a bitch has booze in here. Where’d he get that?”
Sitting up straighter, Rodney smiled, “Really?”
Putting things back in the box, Sheppard grinned mischievously, “Must be our lucky day. Okay, we’ll leave the chocolate, but only because he has liquor.”
Rodney grabbed several bars and held them to his chest before Sheppard could put it all back. He looked at McKay hording them, “Greedy bastard.”
“It’s chocolate,” insisted Rodney, keeping a firm grip on his stash and daring Sheppard to take it away.
“Fine. You keep your chocolate and I keep the booze.”
“I’ll share,” whined Rodney.
Shuffling out from under the desk, John dropped the bottle in McKay’s lap. “Pouting does not work with me, McKay.” He returned all the keys and they made a hasty retreat from the room.
Rodney was opening the bottle and taking a swig before they even made the transporter.
“Hey!” Sheppard grabbed it out of McKay’s hand and took a deep drink of his own. He shuddered as it went down, “That’s stout.”
“It should be. He was making it himself until Elizabeth caught him. I thought he’d learned his lesson after that ass-chewing.”
“Well, he can hardly complain it’s missing than can he? How about we find a place to enjoy it?” Taking another swig, he handed it back to McKay, who took another drink.
Exiting the transporter, Rodney pointed left. “Balcony.”
“Brilliant. I knew there was a reason I hung out with you.” He turned the chair left and headed outside. It was a warm evening and a gentle breeze brought the smell of salty air.
With his back to the wall, Sheppard slide down sighing loudly. It was a relief to get off his feet. His legs were getting stronger, but the trip to and from the lab had been more than he was used to. Rodney set the brakes on the chair and climbing out, sat beside him. “You okay?”
Taking the bottle out of Rodney’s hand he grinned crookedly, “I will be.”
“Yes, well it might be hard to hide if you go stumbling into the infirmary.”
John rolled his eyes again. “It’s not that big of bottle, McKay.”
Rodney reached his hand out for the bottle and Sheppard gave it to him. He took a swallow and stated, “It’s 190 proof.”
Several drinks later, both men were feeling light headed on their way to feeling no pain. They laughed about their escapade before settling into an alcohol induced conversation. “So, you gonna come back to the team?”
“Don’t you ever give up?” said Rodney, taking another drink before letting the bottle drop to his lap.
Sheppard snatched it out of his hand, “No. This is important.”
Closing his eyes, Rodney leaned his head back into the wall. “It’s not about the team.”
“Then what?”
“You were embarrassed to be seen with me. Here, on Atlantis. You were afraid if you associated with me that everyone would think you were gay too.”
“I’m associating with you now,” huffed John, frustrated by McKay’s stubbornness.
“Newsflash, Major. This isn’t exactly the public.”
John sat up, glaring at McKay with a cross between hurt and pissed, “You think that I’m gonna treat you like dirt when others are around, is that it?”
“Well, the thought did cross my mind. Why the sudden change?”
Taking a drink, John sighed deeply, “I talked to my men.”
Rodney looked at him in surprise, “You did?”
Nodding, John started peeling the label off the bottle, which was easier than looking at McKay, “They didn’t seem upset you were gay and I have to admit I found out some rather interesting things.”
“Like what?”
“Did you know Bates was gay?”
“Well duh, you don’t think he does the super military man bullshit because he’s a jerk. Okay, he is a jerk but he’s also under the illusion that being a hard ass tough guy will hide the fact that he likes men.”
“How did you know?” John asked curiously.
Smiling, McKay told him, “He actually congratulated Carson and me.”
Sheppard looked at him in disbelief. “That’s it?”
Rodney shrugged, “He smiled when he said it.”
“Humph. I’ve never actually seen him smile,” said John, jokingly.
Exaggerating a shudder, Rodney countered, “It was scary.”
They both laughed, more at ease having climbed another hump. The alcohol was doing the job and the much needed conversation continued with John. “I was kind of pissed when I found out you went behind my back for help. You could have asked me.”
“Oh please, you would have teased me unmercifully.”
“Would not.” John hesitated and his shoulders slumped. “Okay, maybe I would have, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have helped.”
“It was hard enough to do without your criticism, Major.”
They sat in awkward silence for a few moments, before Sheppard asked quietly, “So why did you do it?”
“Good question.” Rodney reached for the bottle and took a drink before answering, his hands moving in exaggerated motions due to the alcohol. It was also mellowing him and making it easier to speak. His voice had a tinge of resignation as he answered sincerely, “You are all soldiers trained for this shit. Hell, I’ve spent my life in the lab. All of sudden I’m out there with life-sucking aliens and I’m way out of my league. The more time I spent in the field the more I realized that I was a danger to not only myself but to the rest of you.” He paused, adding remorsefully, “You broke your hand because of me.”
“Bullshit. That wasn’t your fault. You were in pain. It could have happened to any one of us. I understand what you’re saying, but this isn’t what you hired on for. The reason the military is here is to protect the rest of you. I asked you to be on the team because I thought you could handle it and you have. Better than any of the other scientists. They can dog you all they want, McKay, but I don’t see any of them volunteering to go out day after day. I know it scares you, but you haven’t given up. I forget sometimes that you aren’t military trained. You’re a scientist and an important part of the team. Christ, how many times have you saved our asses with that brain of yours.”
“Sometimes it’s not enough,” sighed Rodney, dropping his head. He swallowed hard, his next words hard to say, “For the first time in my life I was a part of something really important. Something that makes a difference. I don’t have many friends and I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with.”
“That’s an understatement,” muttered Sheppard.
“Shut up. I’m pouring my heart out. Do you mind?” He sat for a minute, laughed and asked, “Where was I?”
“Lightweight.” John took the bottle away from him. “You were saying something about friends.”
“Right.” His mood changed back to solemn just as quickly as it had gone. “I don’t want to see you or Teyla or Ford get hurt because of me or something I did.”
“Would it help to know that we all worry about the same thing? That’s what being a part of team does to you. If you didn’t give a rat’s ass about each other than it wouldn’t be much of team.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
The silence descended, both men contemplating the conversation, the alcohol making them melancholy and reflective. John nudged Rodney after a few minutes, “I’m sorry about the appendix thing by the way. I was being an asshole.”
Rodney grunted, “No kidding.”
The conversation drifted back and forth between the two of them, exchanging barbs. Handing Rodney the last of the bottle, Sheppard asked, “So come back to the team. I’d feel a lot safer with you watching our backs.”
“I’ll think about it…” Rodney let his head roll back and hit the wall, “Yes.”
“God, you’re easy,” said John, beaming from ear to ear.
“You know, Carson says the same thing.”
“Oh, don’t go there, McKay. I’d rather save puking until the morning if you don’t mind.”
They both started laughing only to be interrupted by a familiar voice in the doorway, “Gentlemen.”
Rodney was smiling broadly when he looked up, too drunk to realize he might be in trouble, “Carson!” He patted the floor beside him, “Have a seat.” He fumbled in his pocket and tried to entice him by waving a candy bar. “We have chocolate!”
Walking closer, Carson squatted in front of Rodney and waved his hand at the alcohol smell coming off of him. He shook his head. “That’s not all you have.”
John came to Rodney’s defense, holding up the empty bottle as he slurred, “Nope, that’s it Carson. See, all gone.”
Carson was trying not to smile, “I don’t know what I’m goin’ to do with the two of you. You’re not even out of the infirmary yet.” He shook his head in resignation, “Come on then, lets get you back where you belong. Can either of you walk?”
Rodney shook his head, snickering, “I rode. He droved.”
It took some effort to get a very limber Rodney into his chair. The major was laughing so hard he had tears rolling down his cheeks as he watched Carson struggling with a very amorous scientist. By the time Rodney was settled, Carson was flushed and looking rather uncomfortable. He glared at Sheppard, “I trust you can act older than twelve by the time I get back.”
Still laughing, John waved him off. “I can get there.” He tried to get to his feet, but kept slipping down the wall.
Carson planted a firm hand to the major’s chest and shook his head, “You just stay still, lad. The last thing you need is to fall and hurt your back again. Then I’d be stuck with you forever and if it’s all the same to you I’d rather not have to dwell on that. I’ll be right back and I expect you to be sitting there.”
John gave him a sloppy salute, “Yes, sir.”
Shaking his head, knowing the man was likely to be asleep when he returned judging by his heavily lidded eyes, Carson gripped the chair Rodney was tilting sideways in and headed for the infirmary. He kept telling himself he should be mad but seeing Rodney and Major Sheppard acting as friends again went a long way in forgiving them for their shenanigans. He supposed he should be used to it and if the conversation he accidentally overheard was any indication, it wouldn’t be the last time. “I hope it was worth it, luv. You’re goin’ to feel it tomorrow.”
An unexpected reply came from a sleepy Rodney, “It was.”
A smile graced Carson’s face and he leaned over to give Rodney’s head a brief kiss. “I know."
Chapter 24
The sun was dipping below the horizon and the wide expanse of ocean reflected back the orange red hues that made for a brilliant sunset. Rodney leaned heavily against the rail, still a little shaky on his feet after so long in bed. It had felt like forever before Carson freed him from the infirmary, but it had only been two weeks. Two weeks of getting his strength back. The headaches and dizziness were less frequent, and Carson reassured him that too would pass with time. His eyesight was better, enough so that he didn’t have to wear the glasses to hide the harsh glare of sunlight.
Lost in thought he was surprised by the warm hand on his back. He turned his head and smiled before gazing back at the sunset. “I never got what people saw in sunrises and sunsets.”
“Until now?” Carson smiled, slipping his hand in Rodney’s, as they watched the sun sink lower.
“Well, I’m usually busy this time of day, and mornings are not my best time of the day. Coffee always seemed more important.”
They both laughed and Rodney slipped his hand free of Carson’s. Stepping sideways to stand behind him, Rodney pulled him into his chest as he wrapped his arms around him. Leaning over Carson’s shoulder, his voice was tight as he half whispered, “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I would have missed that.”
Carson grasped the arm that covered his chest, leaning back into Rodney’s embrace. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better. I don’t think you should be overdoing it though.”
“It’s just a sunset, Carson. I’ll be fine. You said yourself I needed to walk to get my strength back.”
Smiling, Carson patted Rodney’s arm, “This doesn’t look like walking, luv.”
Rodney leaned closer, kissing the doctor’s neck, “I was distracted by the view.”
“Aye, it’s a beautiful sunset.”
Nuzzling Carson’s ear, Rodney grinned, “I wasn’t necessarily thinking of the sunset.”
Shivering, Carson pushed him away a bit, “You are incorrigible and I have to get back to work.”
Rodney pulled him back. “I know, but you still love me.” He tightened his hold and said softly, “Just stay a little longer. Watch the sunset with me.”
Carson nodded, “Alright, just a bit longer then.”
The two stood together, enjoying the closeness as much as the sunset, until it was full dark. Carson reluctantly broke their embrace with a sigh, “I really should get back to work. Are you coming?”
Shaking his head, Rodney said, “No, I think I’ll stay out here for a bit.” He was already leaning over the railing again, staring up at the sky.
Carson dropped a soft kiss on his brow, “Don’t stay too late. You need to rest.”
“Yes, doctor,” quipped Rodney, the affection he said it with took away the bite of sarcasm.
“Don’t be a smartass or I’ll be taking what few privileges you have,” countered Carson, walking towards the balcony door with a grin.
“Not the important one, Carson. Even you’re not that evil,” laughed Rodney, turning to watch Carson leave. It had been an interminable stay in the infirmary and they’d only recently enjoyed some privacy. He wasn’t about to give up that privilege. Not wishing to risk it, he spent only a few more minutes viewing the stars before he returned to his quarters to do some work on his laptop while he waited for Carson.
Several nights later, Rodney was in the same spot watching the sunset when he heard the balcony doors open behind him. Thinking it was Carson he didn’t bother turning around. He was surprised when Major Sheppard settled on the rail beside him. Without a glance, John handed him the familiar wooden box. “Teyla found it in the ready room, thought you might want it back.”
Taking it, Rodney fingered the ornate carvings on the lid. “Not really. That’s why I left it there. I found it in my pack before we left on the last mission.”
John finally turned his head and nodded toward the box, “You earned it.”
Shaking his head, Rodney’s hands stilled, “Humph.” He grabbed the box firmly and was half way tempted to throw in out to sea when Sheppard’s hand stopped him. Rodney glared at him, “What?”
“Have you looked at it? Do you remember what Pojan said about it?”
Rodney sighed irritably, “No and I really don’t want to. I thought we settled all this.” Giving Sheppard a sideways glance, Rodney rolled his eyes when he saw the ‘please’ in John’s eyes. “Oh spare me, that’s pathetic.” The look didn’t fade and Rodney broke, “Fine. You want me to look at it, I’ll look at it.” He snatched the lid off and stared down and the medallion, speechless.
Taking the initiative, John reached over and pulled the medallion out of its box. Wrapping the chain around his fingers, it dangled in his hand as he leaned over the rail. The sun’s rays danced off the metal as it spun slowly before coming to rest. Rodney seemed mesmerized by it and Sheppard spoke, “The warriors thought you were worthy of this or they wouldn’t have given it to you. Let’s see if I can remember.” He lifted the medallion and let it rest in his hand as he pointed to the symbols on it. “They said they stand for courage, strength and integrity.” He frowned but there was a glint in his eye as he added, “Or was that strength, integrity and courage or was it…”
“Major!”
“Right, right. Where was I? Oh yeah…anyway. I know you don’t think too highly of what happened on Kinoban and hell I really couldn’t blame you if you did want to chuck it in the ocean so you didn’t have to remember the place, but the warriors had it right, McKay.”
Rodney was staring at him now, clearly confused. “I know I’m a genius but even I need more to go on if there is any chance of me getting something out of this poetic moment you seem intent on sharing.”
The man just had to make everything difficult, but John found himself smiling nonetheless. “If you would shut up for a second I might get there. Do you mind?”
At the wave of Rodney’s hand John continued, his voice lower, “When we were on that planet and I couldn’t walk and you couldn’t see, it never once occurred to me that you wouldn’t get me out of there. I know you were scared not being able to see, but you went everywhere I led you despite it. You carried my ass outta there, knowing it was that or nothing. I know how hard it was to pack me around but you did it any way, and when you couldn’t carry me you dragged me. It never occurred to you to quit or leave me behind. We wouldn’t have made it out of there if you hadn’t done what you did. They never would have found us in that place, and even if they did, it would’ve been too late. Even after I passed out, you went at it alone because you had no choice. You could’ve sat down and refused to go on, but you didn’t. Instead you sucked it up and freed everybody else. Hell, Rodney, you almost killed yourself making sure we all got out of there.”
He stopped for a moment, letting the words sink in before he nudged McKay lightly. Holding the medallion out for Rodney, he emphasized his words, “Courage, strength and integrity, Rodney. Don’t throw it away because of Kinoban. The warriors didn’t give this to you because of anything you did there, but because of the man you are. You deserve this.”
Rodney took it and looked at it closely. He coughed first, clearing his throat before saying quietly, “It’s a beautiful piece of workmanship. Be a shame to throw it.”
John smiled, “Yeah it would. Maybe you ought to hold on to it.”
Tucking it back into the box, Rodney replaced the lid without saying anything. They stood watching the sunset, shoulder to shoulder and after several minutes Rodney uttered, “Thanks.”
********
Striding down the hall, John was feeling pretty good. His legs were finally back to normal and he and McKay were back on active duty, well sort of. They were still days away from any mission so he went in search of Rodney to see if he wanted to go exploring with him.
Reaching Rodney’s door, he hit the chime after a mental note not to just walk in. Learned that lesson the hard way and he wasn’t likely to forget the image that was forever burned on his brain. He shuddered and hit the chime again, waiting for Rodney to open the door. It opened and he walked in, surprised to find it was Carson that had let him in. He raised a brow and gave him a crooked smile, “Hey Carson, can Rodney come out and play?”
Carson was about to reply when Rodney shouted from the bathroom, “No he can’t. Go away, Major.”
“Ah come on, McKay. I’m bored and you need some exercise.” He looked at Carson for backup. “Doctor’s orders.”
Rodney stepped out of the bathroom at that moment and leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed. Carson’s mouth dropped open and he muttered with a quick drawn breath, “Bloody hell.”
John was surprised first, then laughed and shook his head, “Well now I know what was in the other package.”
“Yes well, it wasn’t meant for you, Major and I doubt very much if Carson is going to side with you on this one.” Rodney was watching Carson’s expression and grinning.
Glancing at the dazed look on Beckett’s face, John chuckled, “He does have that ‘ooo pretty’ look on his face.” Carson kept staring, unaware of anything but Rodney.
Rodney puffed up a bit and countered, “Actually that’s his ‘I’m going to fuck you into the mattress’ look.”
“Eww. That is too much information, McKay.”
“You started it.” Smirking, Rodney glared at him, trying very hard not to appear self conscious, “Don’t you have bullets to count or something equally important to do?”
“I suppose I could find something to occupy my time, since you obviously have plans.” John turned to leave, then stopped and turned towards Carson who was still staring open mouthed and wide eyed at Rodney or more likely the outfit that clung to him like a second skin.
The tight fitting Kinoban outfit left nothing to the imagination and Carson was flush, unable to divert his eyes. This one wasn’t like the ones Rodney had worn on the planet. Instead, it was sleeveless and showcased the muscles in the scientist’s arms. It laced down the front and Rodney had purposely left a good part of it loosely tied so Carson had a very good view of his well toned chest. Rodney was looking rather smug about it and Carson was oblivious to everything but his lover.
Reaching out a single finger, John put it under Beckett’s chin and closed his mouth, teasing at the same time, “You’re drooling, Carson.”
Carson unconsciously reached up to wipe his face, when he realized too late he was being toyed with. He glared at Sheppard, “Oh that’s very funny, Major.”
Glancing over his shoulder as he headed out the door, John couldn’t resist teasing Rodney as well, “Told you he’d like it.”
Only the doors closing shut at the right instant kept him from getting hit in the back of the head with whatever McKay had thrown at him. He was still smiling as he walked away, idly wondering how long it would be before Rodney found him so they could go exploring.
He no longer worried about what anyone thought about the time he and Rodney spent together. They were friends, nothing more, nothing less. There didn’t need to be any heart-wrenching emotional declarations of friendship to know what they had. It was accepted now. They’d passed all the hurdles and tested the limits, realizing in the end that the unspoken trust and friendship would always be there.
THE END
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I LOVE it, I really do. You took me on a joyride and I'm almost sad it's over now. Please promise to write more, a whole bunch of stories and more!
*Love you*
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Really, I love this series, and can't wait to see what you come up with next.
*pulls out bag, sets up camp, and settles in for the long haul* Ok, I'm ready. Post away. *wink*
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And wow, did you beat Rodney up in this fic. And then you beat up Rodney and John! ::is impressed:: :)
I really liked how this went though. At first I had a hard time thinking that John was homophobic, which just seemed OOC, but your explanation made perfect sense; John's own psychological damage forming the basis for his reaction to learning of Rodney's sexual orientation.
Anyway, this was really great - even if there wasn't any McShep sex. LOL
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