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Okay onto part four of this one. It took an unexpected turn on me, so you'll have to bare with me a little longer.
Chapter Four
John lasted another day before he found himself walking towards Rodney’s lab, muttering about the stupidity of such a move the whole way. His other option had been the infirmary but that ranked up right up there with the whole stupid thing too, so either way he was screwed.
He’d caught glances of McKay and Beckett at odd times of the day and carefully snuck away, mostly so they couldn’t corner him but also to hide the evidence of his body’s betrayal. Apparently, it wasn’t listening anymore and had decided to jump the fence. “And what the fuck was in that drink?” he said angrily under his breath as he stepped into the transporter.
He pressed the display and went to turn around when warm, wet lips latched onto that sensitive spot just under his ear. Startled, his body didn’t know whether to fight or run until a familiar husky voice breathed in his ear, “Colonel.”
His body shuddered involuntarily and he couldn’t have moved away if his life had depended on it. He stuttered, “Don’t, McKay.”
It wasn’t a very convincing plea, gasped like it was and did nothing to deter Rodney, who added his tongue to the mix. “Oh yes, because you are so hating this.” A hand slid to his hip, pushing him forward and he had to put his hands up on the wall or risk running into it face first. Panicking, he pushed back. Big mistake, because now his ass suddenly had a new hardness pressed against it, sending a very pleasant shiver up his spine. The panic went to a whole new level that his mind was processing but his body was obviously having a hard time keeping up with because it stilled, letting the hardness press even closer.
“Do you want to move up that timetable, Colonel? I can give Carson a holler and we can go straight to the begging part.”
“I’m good, thanks,” hissed Sheppard, wondering why the fuck he was still standing there letting McKay do this, because he was not gay...damn it.
He’d been having serious doubts about his sexual orientation every since that drink he took on the planet and right now, right this moment his heterosexuality had flown out the window and was mocking him. He wanted to resist, but the hand resting on his hip, was warming his skin even through his shirt. Another hand slipped under the hem of his shirt. He was almost sure it was Rodney’s but his brain had momentarily shut down when fire danced from the fingers caressing his belly, so he couldn’t be positive.
Rodney’s voice was mesmerizing as it whispered in his ear and his fingers did evil things to his skin. “Do you know how good it feels to wrap your tongue around a man’s nipple. Feeling it harden under your touch and being able to grasp it between your teeth, biting it just enough to make them moan. Then to lick and kiss the hurt away only to start all over.” If his words weren’t bad enough, Rodney’s fingers were acting out his thoughts and John’s dick was so hard he feared he’d come in his pants if Rodney didn’t stop. The erection pressing into his ass was so not helping and it took all his control not to reach into his own pants and jack himself off right there in front of McKay.
He refused to beg. Even Rodney couldn’t make him do that. He was Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard with a reputation to uphold, and there was no way a geek scientist could make him beg.
When Rodney’s fingers dipped below the waistband of his pants, John thought he heard himself whimper and it was enough to bring him to his senses. Pushing away from McKay, his eyes wild with desire, he slammed the display panel and exited the transporter as fast as he could scramble away with a hard-on to rival granite. He made it as far as the nearest storage closet before the rubbing of material against his throbbing flesh forced his hand… literally, and he sank to the floor gasping for air. Fingers fumbling with his zipper, and he only barely wrapped his hand around his aching erection before the light exploded at the base of his spine and he experienced the best damn orgasm of his life.
After several minutes of sucking much needed air into his lungs, he slumped forward, his head resting against the cool wall as he tucked himself back into his pants. He sat there for some time thinking about how fucked he truly was. He’d taken all the psych classes in college and knew all about the subconscious, how it kept you from knowing shit. But this wasn’t something that niggled at his brain until it slowly worked its way to his consciousness. This had come out of fucking nowhere because of some love potion the natives cooked up.
Sitting in the dark closet he tried to analyze everything that had happened up to this point. Surely there was some logical explanation. Okay, he liked Rodney and Carson. They were after all his friends. That didn’t mean he’d thought of them as anything other than friends. So what if he liked spending time with them. They were fun to be around. That didn’t make him gay.
So what if he’d been spending more time with one or the other or both in his free time. And so he noticed that McKay had gotten trimmer over the months and he looked good. And, okay, maybe he noticed that Carson looked better with that scruffy beard of his instead of being clean shaven. Well, maybe Rodney did too, but that was beside the point. It wasn’t like you couldn’t notice stuff like that…right? And maybe he did glance at them longer than was necessary and find himself drifting to one or the other when he was around them. And he hadn’t even batted an eye when he found out Rodney and Carson were together as if it were only the natural. His brain stuttered and he dropped his head into his hands and sighed, oh fuck…he was gay.
His mind rambled for several minutes looking for a loophole when suddenly he sat up straight, smiling in the dark. Wait, he still liked women, so he couldn’t really be classified as gay. Hey, he was bi, not gay. He frowned. Oh right, because that was so much better. Well maybe a little.
Getting to his feet, he squared his shoulders and stood in front of the door, gathering himself together before he opened it. Stepping into the hall, his eyes darted up and down the corridor and he sighed in relief that he didn’t have to explain why he was coming out of the closet. Oh god, how lame was that after his latest epiphany.
And yet, it was easier now, the nagging weight somehow had been lifted and it didn’t seem quite so overwhelming. His step was lighter as he moved down the hall. A slow smirk graced his face as he thought about Rodney and Carson. He may have come to terms somewhat with things but he’d be damned if he’d beg. John Sheppard didn’t beg…he didn’t have to.
**********
Sheppard was on his way to the jumper bay to do a simple maintenance check when Carson caught up with him. Falling into step beside him, Carson smiled and kept pace, not saying anything.
John didn’t turn his head, but his eyes darted nervously towards the doctor and he felt his palms starting to sweat. “Um…you need something, Doc?”
“Physical. You’ve been avoiding me,” said Carson, too nonchalantly.
Stopping in midstride, John looked incredulous and said with annoyance, “Can you blame me? Between you and Rodney, I’m afraid to leave my room.”
Carson shrugged and teased, “I could come to your room.” He probably should have felt guilty about the Colonel’s distress but since finding out that the man was interested, Carson was having a hard time feeling anything but lust for the man. It overrode most of his other thought processes.
Shoulders slumping, Sheppard started walking again, trying to ignore the fact that the doctor was still beside him. He made it as far as the jumper before he couldn’t take the silence anymore. Entering the jumper, he turned on Carson, “Okay, out with it. Why are you here?”
“Tetchy aren’t we?” He stepped up behind the Colonel, who was now at the console fiddling with the controls. “I thought we could talk,” drawled Carson, his accent heavy and seductive.
“I used to think talking was just talking.” He sneered, “Now… not so much.” His heart was already racing, and the sweat was beading on his brow in anticipation. Carson stepped closer and John turned, catching both of them off guard. Looking down at Carson, John tilted his head, flashing a cocky smile as he asked, “What did you want to talk about?”
Cheeky bastard, thought Carson swallowing hard and feeling the blood rush to his groin. His unexpected response made him flush and he was suddenly aware that the tables were turning and he no longer had the upper hand. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen and he felt the need to flee. John was looking him up and down, only adding to his aroused state and Carson felt his control over the situation slipping even further. About to speak, the Colonel’s eyes gleamed with mischief and a hand slid to caress Carson’s balls. Carson froze, remembering all too well how that had turned out last time. The fingers didn’t tighten or restrain him like the time in the infirmary, but it was enough to quell his interest and make him terrified to even flinch.
Sheppard sensed the sudden change and jerked his hand back. “Damn. I’m sorry, Carson. I wasn’t thinking.”
Pale, Carson waved him off, “It’s alright. I should probably be goin’ anyway.” Seeing the very brief flash of disappointment and hurt cross John’s face, Carson caved, “I’m the one that should be apologizing.”
Scrunching his face, Sheppard questioned, “Huh?”
Sitting down on the bench behind him, Carson sighed, “I don’t think Rodney or myself thought too far ahead, Colonel. He was upset that everyone thought you were too good for him and he wanted to prove he’s not as bad as they say he is.” Looking up, Carson wasn’t surprised by John’s stunned expression. He smiled warmly, his eyes lighting up, “He really is a different person when it’s just him and he lets down all his defenses.”
John sat opposite Carson, his surprise fading to a knowing smile, “I know that. I work with him, remember.” Leaning forward onto his knees, he clasped his hands together. “Look, I really didn’t know what I was doing when they gave me that drink. Hell, until then I never even thought about you and Rodney that way. Even then I couldn’t get my head around it.”
“So what are you sayin’, Colonel?” Carson asked, his brogue heavier as he frowned with confusion.
“I really didn’t consider myself that way until the drug and now I’m pretty sure that it was something I wanted all along and just didn’t know it. Well until you and Rodney started messing with my head.”
Carson rubbed his neck as he answered, “I know and I’m sorry about that. If we’d left you alone, none of this would be happening.”
“No, I’m sure it would have happened eventually. I really do like spending time with both of you. I wish I’d known you were together though. Which is still kinda weird to me. Why are you even doing this? If the two of you are happy, why screw it up with me?”
“I suppose we didn’t think involving you would screw it up as you say. You’re a very attractive man, Colonel. But you’re right. I don’t think any of us really considered down the road, if ya know what I mean.” They sat in quiet contemplation for a few moments, before Carson dared to speak again. Standing up, he turned to leave, “I am sorry, and I hope we can straighten this out because I would hate to lose you as a friend.”
Sheppard looked up and smiled his trademark grin, “Nah, we’re still good. I just need some time to figure it all out.” John was feeling terribly confused. Only recently coming to terms with the attraction thing, he wanted to feel more, but he wasn’t sure how to approach it. That and he would sooner or later have to address the whole military aspect of it.
Seeing the confusion radiating from his friend, Carson stepped closer and dropped a comforting hand on John’s shoulder, “I’ll talk with Rodney, tell him to back off.”
“Thanks, Doc. I appreciate it.”
A gentle squeeze and Carson removed his hand. “Right then, I’m sure you have work to do. I’ll expect you later for that physical,” he teased, his own warm smile back in place.
Rodney came by later, standing in the hatch of the jumper, reluctant to enter. His fingers danced nervously as he spoke, “I talked with Carson.” Pacing in tight space, Rodney sighed, “Well, this is… awkward.”
He continued to pace, his hands fluttering as he rambled, “Anyway, I’m not totally inept as people seem to think and I obviously took offense at their comments and I took it out on you. Not fair but no one said life was fair. Deal with it. That doesn’t mean I don’t still want you and I’m pretty sure Carson feels the same. We’ll call it a draw and I won’t bother you too much and you won’t do stupid drug crazed shit. ” He took a breath and looked down almost shyly, “And I wanted to say I’m… uh…I’m…”
Sheppard turned in the pilot seat, questioning with a smirk, “Sorry?”
“Yeah that,” said Rodney, the tension leaving his body as he strode forward towards the cockpit, stopping just behind his normal seat.
Looking at him in both amusement and confusion, Sheppard shook his head, “You’re the only person I know that apologizes without actually apologizing.” He turned his chair more to face McKay. “And about the other. I’m still military.”
“So you’re gay and military, so what? It’s not like anyone cares.”
“Bi,’ contested Sheppard.
“Humph,” huffed Rodney.
Crossing his arms, John glared at the smug scientist. “This is new to me. You’re going to have to be patient.”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “Fine, I can be patient.” Sheppard snickered and McKay rocked back on his heals anxiously, asking sheepishly, “So we’re okay, right?”
Sheppard snorted then smiled, “Yeah, Rodney we’re okay.”
Clapping his hands together, Rodney brightened, “Great.” Turning the chair next to Sheppard, Rodney sat down. “So what are you working on?”
Chapter Four
John lasted another day before he found himself walking towards Rodney’s lab, muttering about the stupidity of such a move the whole way. His other option had been the infirmary but that ranked up right up there with the whole stupid thing too, so either way he was screwed.
He’d caught glances of McKay and Beckett at odd times of the day and carefully snuck away, mostly so they couldn’t corner him but also to hide the evidence of his body’s betrayal. Apparently, it wasn’t listening anymore and had decided to jump the fence. “And what the fuck was in that drink?” he said angrily under his breath as he stepped into the transporter.
He pressed the display and went to turn around when warm, wet lips latched onto that sensitive spot just under his ear. Startled, his body didn’t know whether to fight or run until a familiar husky voice breathed in his ear, “Colonel.”
His body shuddered involuntarily and he couldn’t have moved away if his life had depended on it. He stuttered, “Don’t, McKay.”
It wasn’t a very convincing plea, gasped like it was and did nothing to deter Rodney, who added his tongue to the mix. “Oh yes, because you are so hating this.” A hand slid to his hip, pushing him forward and he had to put his hands up on the wall or risk running into it face first. Panicking, he pushed back. Big mistake, because now his ass suddenly had a new hardness pressed against it, sending a very pleasant shiver up his spine. The panic went to a whole new level that his mind was processing but his body was obviously having a hard time keeping up with because it stilled, letting the hardness press even closer.
“Do you want to move up that timetable, Colonel? I can give Carson a holler and we can go straight to the begging part.”
“I’m good, thanks,” hissed Sheppard, wondering why the fuck he was still standing there letting McKay do this, because he was not gay...damn it.
He’d been having serious doubts about his sexual orientation every since that drink he took on the planet and right now, right this moment his heterosexuality had flown out the window and was mocking him. He wanted to resist, but the hand resting on his hip, was warming his skin even through his shirt. Another hand slipped under the hem of his shirt. He was almost sure it was Rodney’s but his brain had momentarily shut down when fire danced from the fingers caressing his belly, so he couldn’t be positive.
Rodney’s voice was mesmerizing as it whispered in his ear and his fingers did evil things to his skin. “Do you know how good it feels to wrap your tongue around a man’s nipple. Feeling it harden under your touch and being able to grasp it between your teeth, biting it just enough to make them moan. Then to lick and kiss the hurt away only to start all over.” If his words weren’t bad enough, Rodney’s fingers were acting out his thoughts and John’s dick was so hard he feared he’d come in his pants if Rodney didn’t stop. The erection pressing into his ass was so not helping and it took all his control not to reach into his own pants and jack himself off right there in front of McKay.
He refused to beg. Even Rodney couldn’t make him do that. He was Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard with a reputation to uphold, and there was no way a geek scientist could make him beg.
When Rodney’s fingers dipped below the waistband of his pants, John thought he heard himself whimper and it was enough to bring him to his senses. Pushing away from McKay, his eyes wild with desire, he slammed the display panel and exited the transporter as fast as he could scramble away with a hard-on to rival granite. He made it as far as the nearest storage closet before the rubbing of material against his throbbing flesh forced his hand… literally, and he sank to the floor gasping for air. Fingers fumbling with his zipper, and he only barely wrapped his hand around his aching erection before the light exploded at the base of his spine and he experienced the best damn orgasm of his life.
After several minutes of sucking much needed air into his lungs, he slumped forward, his head resting against the cool wall as he tucked himself back into his pants. He sat there for some time thinking about how fucked he truly was. He’d taken all the psych classes in college and knew all about the subconscious, how it kept you from knowing shit. But this wasn’t something that niggled at his brain until it slowly worked its way to his consciousness. This had come out of fucking nowhere because of some love potion the natives cooked up.
Sitting in the dark closet he tried to analyze everything that had happened up to this point. Surely there was some logical explanation. Okay, he liked Rodney and Carson. They were after all his friends. That didn’t mean he’d thought of them as anything other than friends. So what if he liked spending time with them. They were fun to be around. That didn’t make him gay.
So what if he’d been spending more time with one or the other or both in his free time. And so he noticed that McKay had gotten trimmer over the months and he looked good. And, okay, maybe he noticed that Carson looked better with that scruffy beard of his instead of being clean shaven. Well, maybe Rodney did too, but that was beside the point. It wasn’t like you couldn’t notice stuff like that…right? And maybe he did glance at them longer than was necessary and find himself drifting to one or the other when he was around them. And he hadn’t even batted an eye when he found out Rodney and Carson were together as if it were only the natural. His brain stuttered and he dropped his head into his hands and sighed, oh fuck…he was gay.
His mind rambled for several minutes looking for a loophole when suddenly he sat up straight, smiling in the dark. Wait, he still liked women, so he couldn’t really be classified as gay. Hey, he was bi, not gay. He frowned. Oh right, because that was so much better. Well maybe a little.
Getting to his feet, he squared his shoulders and stood in front of the door, gathering himself together before he opened it. Stepping into the hall, his eyes darted up and down the corridor and he sighed in relief that he didn’t have to explain why he was coming out of the closet. Oh god, how lame was that after his latest epiphany.
And yet, it was easier now, the nagging weight somehow had been lifted and it didn’t seem quite so overwhelming. His step was lighter as he moved down the hall. A slow smirk graced his face as he thought about Rodney and Carson. He may have come to terms somewhat with things but he’d be damned if he’d beg. John Sheppard didn’t beg…he didn’t have to.
**********
Sheppard was on his way to the jumper bay to do a simple maintenance check when Carson caught up with him. Falling into step beside him, Carson smiled and kept pace, not saying anything.
John didn’t turn his head, but his eyes darted nervously towards the doctor and he felt his palms starting to sweat. “Um…you need something, Doc?”
“Physical. You’ve been avoiding me,” said Carson, too nonchalantly.
Stopping in midstride, John looked incredulous and said with annoyance, “Can you blame me? Between you and Rodney, I’m afraid to leave my room.”
Carson shrugged and teased, “I could come to your room.” He probably should have felt guilty about the Colonel’s distress but since finding out that the man was interested, Carson was having a hard time feeling anything but lust for the man. It overrode most of his other thought processes.
Shoulders slumping, Sheppard started walking again, trying to ignore the fact that the doctor was still beside him. He made it as far as the jumper before he couldn’t take the silence anymore. Entering the jumper, he turned on Carson, “Okay, out with it. Why are you here?”
“Tetchy aren’t we?” He stepped up behind the Colonel, who was now at the console fiddling with the controls. “I thought we could talk,” drawled Carson, his accent heavy and seductive.
“I used to think talking was just talking.” He sneered, “Now… not so much.” His heart was already racing, and the sweat was beading on his brow in anticipation. Carson stepped closer and John turned, catching both of them off guard. Looking down at Carson, John tilted his head, flashing a cocky smile as he asked, “What did you want to talk about?”
Cheeky bastard, thought Carson swallowing hard and feeling the blood rush to his groin. His unexpected response made him flush and he was suddenly aware that the tables were turning and he no longer had the upper hand. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen and he felt the need to flee. John was looking him up and down, only adding to his aroused state and Carson felt his control over the situation slipping even further. About to speak, the Colonel’s eyes gleamed with mischief and a hand slid to caress Carson’s balls. Carson froze, remembering all too well how that had turned out last time. The fingers didn’t tighten or restrain him like the time in the infirmary, but it was enough to quell his interest and make him terrified to even flinch.
Sheppard sensed the sudden change and jerked his hand back. “Damn. I’m sorry, Carson. I wasn’t thinking.”
Pale, Carson waved him off, “It’s alright. I should probably be goin’ anyway.” Seeing the very brief flash of disappointment and hurt cross John’s face, Carson caved, “I’m the one that should be apologizing.”
Scrunching his face, Sheppard questioned, “Huh?”
Sitting down on the bench behind him, Carson sighed, “I don’t think Rodney or myself thought too far ahead, Colonel. He was upset that everyone thought you were too good for him and he wanted to prove he’s not as bad as they say he is.” Looking up, Carson wasn’t surprised by John’s stunned expression. He smiled warmly, his eyes lighting up, “He really is a different person when it’s just him and he lets down all his defenses.”
John sat opposite Carson, his surprise fading to a knowing smile, “I know that. I work with him, remember.” Leaning forward onto his knees, he clasped his hands together. “Look, I really didn’t know what I was doing when they gave me that drink. Hell, until then I never even thought about you and Rodney that way. Even then I couldn’t get my head around it.”
“So what are you sayin’, Colonel?” Carson asked, his brogue heavier as he frowned with confusion.
“I really didn’t consider myself that way until the drug and now I’m pretty sure that it was something I wanted all along and just didn’t know it. Well until you and Rodney started messing with my head.”
Carson rubbed his neck as he answered, “I know and I’m sorry about that. If we’d left you alone, none of this would be happening.”
“No, I’m sure it would have happened eventually. I really do like spending time with both of you. I wish I’d known you were together though. Which is still kinda weird to me. Why are you even doing this? If the two of you are happy, why screw it up with me?”
“I suppose we didn’t think involving you would screw it up as you say. You’re a very attractive man, Colonel. But you’re right. I don’t think any of us really considered down the road, if ya know what I mean.” They sat in quiet contemplation for a few moments, before Carson dared to speak again. Standing up, he turned to leave, “I am sorry, and I hope we can straighten this out because I would hate to lose you as a friend.”
Sheppard looked up and smiled his trademark grin, “Nah, we’re still good. I just need some time to figure it all out.” John was feeling terribly confused. Only recently coming to terms with the attraction thing, he wanted to feel more, but he wasn’t sure how to approach it. That and he would sooner or later have to address the whole military aspect of it.
Seeing the confusion radiating from his friend, Carson stepped closer and dropped a comforting hand on John’s shoulder, “I’ll talk with Rodney, tell him to back off.”
“Thanks, Doc. I appreciate it.”
A gentle squeeze and Carson removed his hand. “Right then, I’m sure you have work to do. I’ll expect you later for that physical,” he teased, his own warm smile back in place.
Rodney came by later, standing in the hatch of the jumper, reluctant to enter. His fingers danced nervously as he spoke, “I talked with Carson.” Pacing in tight space, Rodney sighed, “Well, this is… awkward.”
He continued to pace, his hands fluttering as he rambled, “Anyway, I’m not totally inept as people seem to think and I obviously took offense at their comments and I took it out on you. Not fair but no one said life was fair. Deal with it. That doesn’t mean I don’t still want you and I’m pretty sure Carson feels the same. We’ll call it a draw and I won’t bother you too much and you won’t do stupid drug crazed shit. ” He took a breath and looked down almost shyly, “And I wanted to say I’m… uh…I’m…”
Sheppard turned in the pilot seat, questioning with a smirk, “Sorry?”
“Yeah that,” said Rodney, the tension leaving his body as he strode forward towards the cockpit, stopping just behind his normal seat.
Looking at him in both amusement and confusion, Sheppard shook his head, “You’re the only person I know that apologizes without actually apologizing.” He turned his chair more to face McKay. “And about the other. I’m still military.”
“So you’re gay and military, so what? It’s not like anyone cares.”
“Bi,’ contested Sheppard.
“Humph,” huffed Rodney.
Crossing his arms, John glared at the smug scientist. “This is new to me. You’re going to have to be patient.”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “Fine, I can be patient.” Sheppard snickered and McKay rocked back on his heals anxiously, asking sheepishly, “So we’re okay, right?”
Sheppard snorted then smiled, “Yeah, Rodney we’re okay.”
Clapping his hands together, Rodney brightened, “Great.” Turning the chair next to Sheppard, Rodney sat down. “So what are you working on?”
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::sits impatiently:: (No point even pretending to be paitent *snerk*)