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Title: The Broken Road
Author: Chaps1870
Warnings: Slash
Pairings: Jarrod/Adam
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Two old friends discover they share more than just a simple friendship
Disclaimer: This story is for entertainment only and not intended to infringe on the holders of rights of The Big Valley or Bonanza.
The Broken Road
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you
Bless the Broken Road~Rascal Flatts
Chapter 1
The dark haired stranger got off the train and looked up and down the street, wondering how long it would take to run across Jarrod Barkley. He had been in San Francisco finishing up the details on a lumber contract and decided to take a side trip to Stockton. Walking towards the hotel, he began to have doubts about stopping here, but it had been too long and his curiosity got the better of him. He remembered the blue-eyed lawyer of his younger days and wondered if Jarrod had ever thought of him over the years. They had been the best of friends for a brief time in college but over the course of a few weeks they suddenly stopped spending time together and that had been the last Adam had seen of Jarrod. He knew why he’d backed away from the friendship but he’d never know Jarrod’s reasons. Both of them seemed to make the decision at the same time and the friendship dissolved.
Finding a hotel, Adam checked in his bag and went in search of a good meal and a stiff drink. Sitting in the Cattlemen’s dining room, his resolve to look up his old friend was fading and he’d all but decided to catch the next train home, when he heard a familiar voice from across the room. Looking up from his meal, his eyes scanned the restaurant for his friend.
Jarrod sat at a table with several other gentlemen and seemed to sense he was being watched. Turning his head just slightly to the left, he was about to take a puff on his cigar when he froze, his eyes widening in surprise at the man in black sitting across the room from him. A one-sided smile appeared and he quickly excused himself before striding confidently across the room. Adam watched him approach and was amazed at the transformation from gangly youth to manhood. Jarrod had always been tall and thin in his younger days, but the added height and broader shoulders surprised Adam. He wore the suit coat and gentlemanly ways with ease and seemed comfortable with who he was. As Jarrod got closer, Adam wiped his face with his napkin and stood up, his arm outstretched in greeting.
Jarrod took it firmly in his and wrapping his other arm around Adam, gave him welcoming hug, “Adam! What a surprise!” Just as quickly, Jarrod released him and stood back, his eyes going over the changes in his friend, “What brings you to Stockton?”
Smiling at Jarrod’s exuberant welcome, Adam smiled and motioned for him to have a seat, “Thought I’d stop by and see an old friend. I wasn’t too sure you’d even remember me.”
A bit of sadness shone in Jarrod’s eyes as he sat down, but it vanished just as quickly and Adam wondered if he’d misread him. Jarrod smiled, “I could never forget you Adam. I still remember all the great times we had. How long you in town for?”
“Oh, a couple days maybe. Can’t be gone too long or my father will send out a posse,” laughed Adam. He sometimes hated to admit that his father had such control, but Jarrod had a strong sense of family just as he did and Adam had never felt uncomfortable telling Jarrod the truth.
“How is the ranch doing? I’ve heard you’ve got one of the biggest spreads out that way.”
Adam flashed him a dimpled grin, “We do all right. What are you up to?” Reaching across the table he fingered Jarrod’s fancy suit, “Can’t be doing too much work if you’re dressed like that.”
Jarrod batted his hand out of the way, “I didn’t go to school to be a rancher if you remember right.”
Teasing him, Adam laughed “Ah yes. I believe you were interested in finding justice for all. A fancy lawyer if memory serves me.”
“Humph. I suppose those law classes you took were a waste of time after you found engineering to your liking.”
It never occurred to either of them that despite years of separation they still knew a great deal about the other and it was easy to find conversation over the next hour. As the dining area began to clear, Jarrod asked, “Why don’t you come out to the ranch with me? Mother would never forgive me if she thought I let an old friend stay in town.”
“I hate to impose on your family.”
“Nonsense. You can finally meet them.”
Both men stood, and Jarrod dropped his hand onto Adam’s shoulder, “It’s really great to see you again. I doubted we’d ever cross paths again.” Adam shuddered under Jarrod’s hand, and walked ahead to put a little distance between them. Jarrod followed right behind, stopping only long enough to grab his hat and gunbelt from his original table. Meeting Adam in the street, Jarrod was still amazed at the bulk his friend had put on over the years. His broad shoulders and narrow hips were a testament to the hard work he did, and the muscles were plainly visible even beneath the black shirt he wore. Jarrod led them to the livery and they borrowed a horse for Adam to get to the ranch.
It was a pleasant ride and the sun was just beginning to set as the topped the last rise to the ranch. Adam whistled at the site of the pristine white mansion and outbuildings that constituted the main ranch, “Looks like the Barkley’s have quite an empire of their own.”
Jarrod laughed, “We do all right.”
Chapter 2
Adam was introduced to the family and they all spent an enjoyable evening sharing stories of the their younger days. If Adam was surprised by his introduction to Heath, he hid it well and Jarrod breathed a sigh of relief. It sometimes made for an awkward situation when old friends were introduced to the newest member of the family, but Adam handled the news without pause. Eventually the family retired for the evening, leaving Jarrod and Adam time alone to get reacquainted. Adam was drawn the bookshelves as they settled into a comfortable silence, broken only by a question or comment here and there.
Jarrod stood looking out the patio doors, his frame barely visible in the dark alcove. Downing what was left of his drink he finally worked up the nerve to ask the one question they’d both been avoiding all night, “What happened Adam?”
Setting his book down, Adam joined Jarrod and leaned into the doorjamb behind him, his arms crossed, “I know why I left it behind. I was too afraid to ask what your reasons were.” Standing behind Jarrod, Adam could smell his aftershave and felt the all too familiar stirring in his groin. It took all his strength not to take that one step forward and press up against his friend’s back. Instead he held back and inhaled Jarrod’s smell again. God, he couldn’t believe how hard this was and it brought back all the reasons he’d left him behind to begin with. What he felt for Jarrod had gone from simple friendship to an overwhelming desire. He’d hoped that years had dulled the need and it was just a phase in his youth. Standing in his presence made the desires of years past come back sharply with each breath he took. He knew what he felt for Jarrod was wrong and rather than lose their friendship, he’d walked away. What he never understood or figured out was why Jarrod never questioned it. Taking a deep breath he was again assaulted by Jarrod’s aroma and he shook his head to clear his thoughts, as he whispered, “You never looked back.”
His back still to Adam, Jarrod sighed, “You’re wrong. I looked back everyday and wondered where you were, but I was dealing with a lot of things that I just couldn’t handle. It was easier to let it go. Safer...I suppose.”
“What do you mean, safer?” Adam was curious now and determined to get some answers.
Jarrod feared he’d said too much and turned to face Adam, “Forget it. I really don’t want to talk about it.” He tried to turn and leave but Adam grabbed his arm to stop him. As he held Jarrod’s arm in his grasp he felt the trembling beneath his fingers, and when he looked up, all he saw was two shimmering blue pools staring back at him. His grip loosened and he felt himself leaning forward and without any thought he kissed Jarrod’s lips. Never having kissed a man, he was surprised by the softness of Jarrod’s lips and the tantalizing feeling that accompanied it. Realizing there was no response, he pulled back and saw only shock reflecting in Jarrod’s eyes. He closed his eyes and shook his head, chastising himself for being so impulsive, without regard to anything but to actually touch Jarrod as he’d dreamed of for so many years. Any chance at rebuilding their friendship was now ruined, and he only had himself to blame. With a final look at Jarrod, he started from the room, “I’ll get my things and leave.”
Standing in the middle of the room, Jarrod stood unblinking, afraid to even breath. His heart was pounding wildly and only when the door closed did he suck in a great gasping breath. Reaching up with a shaky hand, he wiped the sweat from his brow. He was numb and it took a few minutes to calm his nerves. It cleared his head and he heard Adam’s final words shouting in his head. He was leaving. That thought was enough to spur him to action and he rushed from the room.
As he stood at the door to Adam’s room Jarrod hesitated, unsure what he was going to say. He knocked very softly and only opened the door when a forlorn answer came from behind the closed door, “Come in.” Adam sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Jarrod entered and closing the door, leaned into it heavily.
“You don’t have to go.”
Adams head jerked up, his dark eyes flashing with self-loathing, “How can I possibly stay after doing that!?”
Jarrod remained still, but asked quietly, “Is that why you drifted away all those years ago?”
Adam was confused by Jarrod’s reaction. He wasn’t angry as he expected him to be and even seemed sympathetic, judging from the look in his eyes. Unsure, Adam tried to explain, “I didn’t know of any other way to spare you. I couldn’t very well tell you now could I. Hell, Jarrod I’ve always liked women. Still do, but something about you...well...never mind.” Adam stood up and started cramming clothes into his saddlebags, anxious to leave his embarrassment behind him.
Walking to the bed, Jarrod placed one hand on Adam’s and took the saddlebags from his trembling hands, “Stop.” Adam’s eyes widened in surprise when Jarrod slipped his hand to the back of his neck and stared into his brown depths. “I don’t want you to go.” As he spoke, Jarrod got closer and closer to Adam’s mouth and with his last word his lips covered Adam’s. This time it was Adam that couldn’t respond, the shock of what was happening too much for him to process. Adam stood with his eyes closed, his heartbeat drowning out his thoughts as Jarrod stopped and pulled away. His heart was pounding as he licked his lips, tasting what was left of their kiss. Jarrod’s eyes remained locked on his and he spoke softly as his fingers played with the fine hairs on his neck, “I was as scared as you were back then and I spent years denying what I felt. When I saw you today, it was like we’d never been apart and it all came rushing back.”
His admission was a relief and yet it seemed to take all his strength. Stepping back, Jarrod sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and Adam moved to sit beside him. Neither man spoke, each one trying to come to terms with what they were feeling for the other. Adam was the first one to speak up, “Now what?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never done this sort of thing before.” Jarrod looked at Adam with longing in his eyes and asked, “Can I kiss you again?”
Adam put an arm behind Jarrod to brace himself and his other hand reached out to cup Jarrod’s face. It was rough to the touch, but not unnatural as Adam thought it might be. Jarrod leaned into his hand, his eyes closed for a moment as he resisted the shiver that threatened with the electrifying feel of Adam’s touch. Their eyes gazed at each other, but drifted close when Adam leaned forward and their lips met in a mutual kiss. It was a tentative kiss, neither man sure of themselves but it left them both breathless nonetheless. Jarrod let himself fall back on the bed as he tried to catch his breath and Adam took some initiative by leaning across Jarrod, pressing his lips firmly against his as Jarrod ran his fingers through his dark curls. As the long repressed passion built, Jarrod’s tongue darted forward and pressed into Adam’s lips requesting entrance. Granting him access, their tongues danced across each other, urgent in their quest for more. Scooting back on the bed their mouths never apart, Adam stretched out above Jarrod and continued to kiss him feverishly, years of denial could no longer stop the fire that burned from within. Jarrod’s hands caressed the rippling muscles of Adam’s broad back as he plunged his tongue in and out of the mouth that was assaulting his senses. His manhood grew and he felt the growing hardness of Adam’s arousal above him as his hands pulled at Adam’s shirt, wanting to get to the skin beneath. Lifting up, Adam let Jarrod pull his shirt out and when the lawyer’s fingers touched his skin, his whole body shivered and he arched his back, pushing his groin into Jarrod’s in the process.
Jarrod’s hips arched up sharply at the sudden increase in contact and his hands clenched on Adam’s back, biting back a groan at the intensity of pleasure that shot through him. Grabbing Adam’s backside in his hands, Jarrod forced his hips upward needing more friction against his aching erection. Adam complied with his own thrusts and soon they established a rhythm that had them gasping for relief. Their mouths crushed together in a searing kiss as they strove for more and more of the delectable pleasure that had them biting back moans of delight.
As they rubbed and pushed their throbbing hard-ons against each other, neither man could recall it ever feeling this good. No woman had ever made them feel as they did now, this unmistakable feeling of rightness that consumed them. Adam thrust hard into Jarrod’s groin, feeling his member straining against the material of his pants and needing the ache to stop. Beneath Adam, Jarrod suddenly grabbed at his hips and pushed Adam’s groin sharply into his own, then arching his back, he began shuddering with his building climax. Jarrod’s release was so erotic that Adam buried his head in the crook of his neck and came hard in the wake of Jarrod’s own orgasm. They rocked against each other convulsively until not a drop remained then slumped into the bed exhausted but satisfied.
Adam was the first to recover and he rolled off onto his side next to Jarrod, using his hand to wipe away the perspiration that rolled down his face. His breathing was ragged and hoarse as he told Jarrod, “I’ve never had that feel so good.”
Chuckling at Adam’s admission, Jarrod confessed, “Not since I was in college and dreamed about a tall dark haired boy.”
Putting his hands behind his head, Adam sighed, “I have no idea what to do. I’ve never done this before.”
“Well it’s new to me too. I’ve spent the last ten years trying to forget. Thought I was over it. I figured it was a phase maybe, because I’ve never had a desire like that since then.” Jarrod paused, but then added, wanting Adam to understand. “I don’t know what it is about you, Adam. I’ve never been attracted to men but something about you makes me unable to resist what I’m feeling.” He hesitated before continuing in a lower voice, “I wanted your touch back then. I wanted to be with you all the time and it scared me to feel like that, especially with a man. What we just did...I’ve never felt like that with a woman...never.”
“I guess with me, I’ve always known I was different. I also knew it could never be, would never be acceptable so I did what I could to hide it. When you showed up in my life I couldn’t hide it like I was used to. Rather than spoil what we had, I had to leave or do something I’d regret later.” Rolling on his side to look at Jarrod he asked, “So what happens now? I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon.”
Jarrod knew that this was something they wouldn’t be able to hold onto and they would have to return to normal lives. An impossible task maybe...now that they had tasted the forbidden fruit. “Can you stay an extra day or two? We need more time.”
“I don’t know. A day or two isn’t going to make it any easier. Our lives are already separated by too many miles. It’s going to be hard enough as it is.”
Rolling onto his side, Jarrod lifted up on his elbow and dropped his hand onto Adam’s hip. “Are you alright with this?”
Facing Jarrod, Adam reached out his hand and ran his fingers through the dark hair at Jarrod’s nape. “I don’t know. I know it’s wrong to want you like I do, but I can’t stop wanting to touch you and kiss you. I know it’s supposed to be unnatural, but there is nothing unnatural when my lips are on yours.”
Adam pushed Jarrod back onto the bed and covered his mouth with his own. His tongue invaded Jarrod’s mouth and made long sweeping motions as Jarrod plunged his own tongue into Adam’s. Jarrod’s fingers worked at the buttons of Adam’s shirt, needing more of what had been so long denied. There wasn’t enough time to get all he wanted from the one he’d denied for so long and his fingers fought for more of the delicious contact with skin that burned his senses. As he pushed aside the shirt and found the thick mat of hair, he ran his fingers through the course curls, making Adam hiss at the contact. Adam balanced himself above Jarrod and quickly undid his shirt, his hands needing to touch the smooth skin. Jarrod was lost in the sensations and selfishly let Adam caress his chest and abdomen. When Adam found the tight pebble on his chest and encircled it with a light touch of his finger, Jarrod clenched the bedcovers in a tight fist. His breathing increased and his burgeoning length pushed against the coarse material of his pants. Adam’s own hardness pulsed against Jarrod’s thigh and he shivered every time Jarrod reacted to his teasing caresses. Letting his fingers drift lower, Adam was entranced by the way the muscles of Jarrod’s abdomen rippled in his wake. When he reached the waistband of Jarrod’s pants he could see the outline of his erection and he startled at the size. His eyes darkening with desire as he reached in with his fingers, trying to touch the prize that lie beneath. Jarrod lay gasping for air and when Adam hesitated, Jarrod opened his eyes and found him staring, begging permission with dark desire filled eyes. “Please Adam. Touch me!”
Adam’s hand shook as he worked the buttons of Jarrod’s pants, and hearing Jarrod’s breathing change he pressed himself harder against his thigh, his own member throbbing painfully. When Jarrod’s bulging thickness sprang out of his pants, Adam’s eyes widened at the size but resisted the temptation to touch it. Jarrod was desperate for his touch, and he thrashed on the bed trying to push himself towards Adam’s hand. Instead, Adam slipped his hand into Jarrod’s pants and ran it down his thigh avoiding the pulsing heat that tempted him. On the upward sweep, his fingers found Jarrod’s sac and he played with the tight orbs until he had Jarrod moaning softly with pleasure. Pulling his hand out a little more, he had to close his eyes and fight for control when he grasped the base of Jarrod’s shaft, marveling at the softness of such steely hardness. Never had he imagined the thrill or need touching another man would bring him. That it was Jarrod was almost too much and he fought for control not to explode prematurely. Jarrod was beside himself and covering his mouth with his forearm, bit down, afraid he would cry out at the unbelievable pleasure that coursed through him.
Closing his eyes at the sight Jarrod presented, Adam fought for control as his hips thrust sharply into Jarrod’s thigh with ever increasing speed. Both men were on the edge, and when Adam curiously let his thumb collect the wetness at the tip of Jarrod’s crown, he watched in amazement as Jarrod’s shaft swelled even larger. Jarrod was wild with need and be begged through gritted teeth, “Oh god Adam. Please!”
Grasping Jarrod’s pulsing length, Adam stroked him tenderly, savoring the feel of the powerful staff. It was too much for Jarrod and he bucked into Adam’s hand desperate for release. Adam strokes became harder and faster when suddenly Jarrod’s hands clamped down on the bed, his hips shot upward, and he bit his lip to keep from screaming Adam’s name. Watching in fascination, Adam almost lost control when Jarrod’s stomach muscles began quivering and his balls pulled up sharply against the base of his shaft. The thickness in his hand pulsed with the added flow of blood and Jarrod spurted stream after stream of milky white substance over his hand. Jarrod’s body stayed tight and tense until the Adam pulled every drop from his needy flesh and only when he was done did Jarrod sag to the bed, totally spent.
Shuddering in the aftermath of such a powerful orgasm, Jarrod tried to remove Adam’s belt to get to his bulging erection. Adam’s need was so strong, that he was struggled not to thrust. Weakly, Jarrod pushed Adam onto his back and quickly undid his belt and a couple of buttons. Slipping his hand into Adam’s pants, Jarrod shivered uncontrollably at the size and length of his friend’s manhood. Not as thick as his own, but certainly a little longer, Jarrod only barely grasped it when Adam’s hand covered his own and with two sharp thrusts, he pumped his hot seed all over his belly. Jarrod reclaimed Adam’s mouth, his tongue plunging inward to stop the moans that threatened from Adam’s throat. His hand worked Adam’s length until there was nothing more to give and he was gasping for air. Lying at Adam’s side, Jarrod felt him twitching from the tiny aftershocks and he smiled in satisfaction. His hand slid from Adam’s groin up to his chest and he played with the hairs there. The idea that he could excite Adam was heady and he never wanted it to end. All his dreams and desires were now completely focused on the man beside him. It was terrifying and exciting to admit that all his thoughts were of a man and not of some woman, as others expected of him.
Adam’s hand rested on Jarrod’s forearm, caressing it as he fingered his chest. He sighed heavily, “You should go. We both need some sleep and the last thing you need is for your family to find you in here with me.”
“I know. Just a few more minutes.” Jarrod moved closer and Adam hugged him tight, neither of them wanting to give up the moment. After several minutes, Jarrod sighed and patted Adam’s chest signaling his time to leave. “We can go for a ride tomorrow. I’ll show you the ranch. It’ll give us at least the day together.” His voice held a certain sadness, but he refused to let it tarnish this chance they’d been given. Jarrod sat up and dropped his feet off the edge of the bed.
Adam moved behind him and wrapping his arms around him, took a deep breath, inhaling Jarrod’s scent. “We’ll just have to figure something out.”
Author: Chaps1870
Warnings: Slash
Pairings: Jarrod/Adam
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Two old friends discover they share more than just a simple friendship
Disclaimer: This story is for entertainment only and not intended to infringe on the holders of rights of The Big Valley or Bonanza.
The Broken Road
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you
Bless the Broken Road~Rascal Flatts
Chapter 1
The dark haired stranger got off the train and looked up and down the street, wondering how long it would take to run across Jarrod Barkley. He had been in San Francisco finishing up the details on a lumber contract and decided to take a side trip to Stockton. Walking towards the hotel, he began to have doubts about stopping here, but it had been too long and his curiosity got the better of him. He remembered the blue-eyed lawyer of his younger days and wondered if Jarrod had ever thought of him over the years. They had been the best of friends for a brief time in college but over the course of a few weeks they suddenly stopped spending time together and that had been the last Adam had seen of Jarrod. He knew why he’d backed away from the friendship but he’d never know Jarrod’s reasons. Both of them seemed to make the decision at the same time and the friendship dissolved.
Finding a hotel, Adam checked in his bag and went in search of a good meal and a stiff drink. Sitting in the Cattlemen’s dining room, his resolve to look up his old friend was fading and he’d all but decided to catch the next train home, when he heard a familiar voice from across the room. Looking up from his meal, his eyes scanned the restaurant for his friend.
Jarrod sat at a table with several other gentlemen and seemed to sense he was being watched. Turning his head just slightly to the left, he was about to take a puff on his cigar when he froze, his eyes widening in surprise at the man in black sitting across the room from him. A one-sided smile appeared and he quickly excused himself before striding confidently across the room. Adam watched him approach and was amazed at the transformation from gangly youth to manhood. Jarrod had always been tall and thin in his younger days, but the added height and broader shoulders surprised Adam. He wore the suit coat and gentlemanly ways with ease and seemed comfortable with who he was. As Jarrod got closer, Adam wiped his face with his napkin and stood up, his arm outstretched in greeting.
Jarrod took it firmly in his and wrapping his other arm around Adam, gave him welcoming hug, “Adam! What a surprise!” Just as quickly, Jarrod released him and stood back, his eyes going over the changes in his friend, “What brings you to Stockton?”
Smiling at Jarrod’s exuberant welcome, Adam smiled and motioned for him to have a seat, “Thought I’d stop by and see an old friend. I wasn’t too sure you’d even remember me.”
A bit of sadness shone in Jarrod’s eyes as he sat down, but it vanished just as quickly and Adam wondered if he’d misread him. Jarrod smiled, “I could never forget you Adam. I still remember all the great times we had. How long you in town for?”
“Oh, a couple days maybe. Can’t be gone too long or my father will send out a posse,” laughed Adam. He sometimes hated to admit that his father had such control, but Jarrod had a strong sense of family just as he did and Adam had never felt uncomfortable telling Jarrod the truth.
“How is the ranch doing? I’ve heard you’ve got one of the biggest spreads out that way.”
Adam flashed him a dimpled grin, “We do all right. What are you up to?” Reaching across the table he fingered Jarrod’s fancy suit, “Can’t be doing too much work if you’re dressed like that.”
Jarrod batted his hand out of the way, “I didn’t go to school to be a rancher if you remember right.”
Teasing him, Adam laughed “Ah yes. I believe you were interested in finding justice for all. A fancy lawyer if memory serves me.”
“Humph. I suppose those law classes you took were a waste of time after you found engineering to your liking.”
It never occurred to either of them that despite years of separation they still knew a great deal about the other and it was easy to find conversation over the next hour. As the dining area began to clear, Jarrod asked, “Why don’t you come out to the ranch with me? Mother would never forgive me if she thought I let an old friend stay in town.”
“I hate to impose on your family.”
“Nonsense. You can finally meet them.”
Both men stood, and Jarrod dropped his hand onto Adam’s shoulder, “It’s really great to see you again. I doubted we’d ever cross paths again.” Adam shuddered under Jarrod’s hand, and walked ahead to put a little distance between them. Jarrod followed right behind, stopping only long enough to grab his hat and gunbelt from his original table. Meeting Adam in the street, Jarrod was still amazed at the bulk his friend had put on over the years. His broad shoulders and narrow hips were a testament to the hard work he did, and the muscles were plainly visible even beneath the black shirt he wore. Jarrod led them to the livery and they borrowed a horse for Adam to get to the ranch.
It was a pleasant ride and the sun was just beginning to set as the topped the last rise to the ranch. Adam whistled at the site of the pristine white mansion and outbuildings that constituted the main ranch, “Looks like the Barkley’s have quite an empire of their own.”
Jarrod laughed, “We do all right.”
Chapter 2
Adam was introduced to the family and they all spent an enjoyable evening sharing stories of the their younger days. If Adam was surprised by his introduction to Heath, he hid it well and Jarrod breathed a sigh of relief. It sometimes made for an awkward situation when old friends were introduced to the newest member of the family, but Adam handled the news without pause. Eventually the family retired for the evening, leaving Jarrod and Adam time alone to get reacquainted. Adam was drawn the bookshelves as they settled into a comfortable silence, broken only by a question or comment here and there.
Jarrod stood looking out the patio doors, his frame barely visible in the dark alcove. Downing what was left of his drink he finally worked up the nerve to ask the one question they’d both been avoiding all night, “What happened Adam?”
Setting his book down, Adam joined Jarrod and leaned into the doorjamb behind him, his arms crossed, “I know why I left it behind. I was too afraid to ask what your reasons were.” Standing behind Jarrod, Adam could smell his aftershave and felt the all too familiar stirring in his groin. It took all his strength not to take that one step forward and press up against his friend’s back. Instead he held back and inhaled Jarrod’s smell again. God, he couldn’t believe how hard this was and it brought back all the reasons he’d left him behind to begin with. What he felt for Jarrod had gone from simple friendship to an overwhelming desire. He’d hoped that years had dulled the need and it was just a phase in his youth. Standing in his presence made the desires of years past come back sharply with each breath he took. He knew what he felt for Jarrod was wrong and rather than lose their friendship, he’d walked away. What he never understood or figured out was why Jarrod never questioned it. Taking a deep breath he was again assaulted by Jarrod’s aroma and he shook his head to clear his thoughts, as he whispered, “You never looked back.”
His back still to Adam, Jarrod sighed, “You’re wrong. I looked back everyday and wondered where you were, but I was dealing with a lot of things that I just couldn’t handle. It was easier to let it go. Safer...I suppose.”
“What do you mean, safer?” Adam was curious now and determined to get some answers.
Jarrod feared he’d said too much and turned to face Adam, “Forget it. I really don’t want to talk about it.” He tried to turn and leave but Adam grabbed his arm to stop him. As he held Jarrod’s arm in his grasp he felt the trembling beneath his fingers, and when he looked up, all he saw was two shimmering blue pools staring back at him. His grip loosened and he felt himself leaning forward and without any thought he kissed Jarrod’s lips. Never having kissed a man, he was surprised by the softness of Jarrod’s lips and the tantalizing feeling that accompanied it. Realizing there was no response, he pulled back and saw only shock reflecting in Jarrod’s eyes. He closed his eyes and shook his head, chastising himself for being so impulsive, without regard to anything but to actually touch Jarrod as he’d dreamed of for so many years. Any chance at rebuilding their friendship was now ruined, and he only had himself to blame. With a final look at Jarrod, he started from the room, “I’ll get my things and leave.”
Standing in the middle of the room, Jarrod stood unblinking, afraid to even breath. His heart was pounding wildly and only when the door closed did he suck in a great gasping breath. Reaching up with a shaky hand, he wiped the sweat from his brow. He was numb and it took a few minutes to calm his nerves. It cleared his head and he heard Adam’s final words shouting in his head. He was leaving. That thought was enough to spur him to action and he rushed from the room.
As he stood at the door to Adam’s room Jarrod hesitated, unsure what he was going to say. He knocked very softly and only opened the door when a forlorn answer came from behind the closed door, “Come in.” Adam sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Jarrod entered and closing the door, leaned into it heavily.
“You don’t have to go.”
Adams head jerked up, his dark eyes flashing with self-loathing, “How can I possibly stay after doing that!?”
Jarrod remained still, but asked quietly, “Is that why you drifted away all those years ago?”
Adam was confused by Jarrod’s reaction. He wasn’t angry as he expected him to be and even seemed sympathetic, judging from the look in his eyes. Unsure, Adam tried to explain, “I didn’t know of any other way to spare you. I couldn’t very well tell you now could I. Hell, Jarrod I’ve always liked women. Still do, but something about you...well...never mind.” Adam stood up and started cramming clothes into his saddlebags, anxious to leave his embarrassment behind him.
Walking to the bed, Jarrod placed one hand on Adam’s and took the saddlebags from his trembling hands, “Stop.” Adam’s eyes widened in surprise when Jarrod slipped his hand to the back of his neck and stared into his brown depths. “I don’t want you to go.” As he spoke, Jarrod got closer and closer to Adam’s mouth and with his last word his lips covered Adam’s. This time it was Adam that couldn’t respond, the shock of what was happening too much for him to process. Adam stood with his eyes closed, his heartbeat drowning out his thoughts as Jarrod stopped and pulled away. His heart was pounding as he licked his lips, tasting what was left of their kiss. Jarrod’s eyes remained locked on his and he spoke softly as his fingers played with the fine hairs on his neck, “I was as scared as you were back then and I spent years denying what I felt. When I saw you today, it was like we’d never been apart and it all came rushing back.”
His admission was a relief and yet it seemed to take all his strength. Stepping back, Jarrod sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and Adam moved to sit beside him. Neither man spoke, each one trying to come to terms with what they were feeling for the other. Adam was the first one to speak up, “Now what?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never done this sort of thing before.” Jarrod looked at Adam with longing in his eyes and asked, “Can I kiss you again?”
Adam put an arm behind Jarrod to brace himself and his other hand reached out to cup Jarrod’s face. It was rough to the touch, but not unnatural as Adam thought it might be. Jarrod leaned into his hand, his eyes closed for a moment as he resisted the shiver that threatened with the electrifying feel of Adam’s touch. Their eyes gazed at each other, but drifted close when Adam leaned forward and their lips met in a mutual kiss. It was a tentative kiss, neither man sure of themselves but it left them both breathless nonetheless. Jarrod let himself fall back on the bed as he tried to catch his breath and Adam took some initiative by leaning across Jarrod, pressing his lips firmly against his as Jarrod ran his fingers through his dark curls. As the long repressed passion built, Jarrod’s tongue darted forward and pressed into Adam’s lips requesting entrance. Granting him access, their tongues danced across each other, urgent in their quest for more. Scooting back on the bed their mouths never apart, Adam stretched out above Jarrod and continued to kiss him feverishly, years of denial could no longer stop the fire that burned from within. Jarrod’s hands caressed the rippling muscles of Adam’s broad back as he plunged his tongue in and out of the mouth that was assaulting his senses. His manhood grew and he felt the growing hardness of Adam’s arousal above him as his hands pulled at Adam’s shirt, wanting to get to the skin beneath. Lifting up, Adam let Jarrod pull his shirt out and when the lawyer’s fingers touched his skin, his whole body shivered and he arched his back, pushing his groin into Jarrod’s in the process.
Jarrod’s hips arched up sharply at the sudden increase in contact and his hands clenched on Adam’s back, biting back a groan at the intensity of pleasure that shot through him. Grabbing Adam’s backside in his hands, Jarrod forced his hips upward needing more friction against his aching erection. Adam complied with his own thrusts and soon they established a rhythm that had them gasping for relief. Their mouths crushed together in a searing kiss as they strove for more and more of the delectable pleasure that had them biting back moans of delight.
As they rubbed and pushed their throbbing hard-ons against each other, neither man could recall it ever feeling this good. No woman had ever made them feel as they did now, this unmistakable feeling of rightness that consumed them. Adam thrust hard into Jarrod’s groin, feeling his member straining against the material of his pants and needing the ache to stop. Beneath Adam, Jarrod suddenly grabbed at his hips and pushed Adam’s groin sharply into his own, then arching his back, he began shuddering with his building climax. Jarrod’s release was so erotic that Adam buried his head in the crook of his neck and came hard in the wake of Jarrod’s own orgasm. They rocked against each other convulsively until not a drop remained then slumped into the bed exhausted but satisfied.
Adam was the first to recover and he rolled off onto his side next to Jarrod, using his hand to wipe away the perspiration that rolled down his face. His breathing was ragged and hoarse as he told Jarrod, “I’ve never had that feel so good.”
Chuckling at Adam’s admission, Jarrod confessed, “Not since I was in college and dreamed about a tall dark haired boy.”
Putting his hands behind his head, Adam sighed, “I have no idea what to do. I’ve never done this before.”
“Well it’s new to me too. I’ve spent the last ten years trying to forget. Thought I was over it. I figured it was a phase maybe, because I’ve never had a desire like that since then.” Jarrod paused, but then added, wanting Adam to understand. “I don’t know what it is about you, Adam. I’ve never been attracted to men but something about you makes me unable to resist what I’m feeling.” He hesitated before continuing in a lower voice, “I wanted your touch back then. I wanted to be with you all the time and it scared me to feel like that, especially with a man. What we just did...I’ve never felt like that with a woman...never.”
“I guess with me, I’ve always known I was different. I also knew it could never be, would never be acceptable so I did what I could to hide it. When you showed up in my life I couldn’t hide it like I was used to. Rather than spoil what we had, I had to leave or do something I’d regret later.” Rolling on his side to look at Jarrod he asked, “So what happens now? I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon.”
Jarrod knew that this was something they wouldn’t be able to hold onto and they would have to return to normal lives. An impossible task maybe...now that they had tasted the forbidden fruit. “Can you stay an extra day or two? We need more time.”
“I don’t know. A day or two isn’t going to make it any easier. Our lives are already separated by too many miles. It’s going to be hard enough as it is.”
Rolling onto his side, Jarrod lifted up on his elbow and dropped his hand onto Adam’s hip. “Are you alright with this?”
Facing Jarrod, Adam reached out his hand and ran his fingers through the dark hair at Jarrod’s nape. “I don’t know. I know it’s wrong to want you like I do, but I can’t stop wanting to touch you and kiss you. I know it’s supposed to be unnatural, but there is nothing unnatural when my lips are on yours.”
Adam pushed Jarrod back onto the bed and covered his mouth with his own. His tongue invaded Jarrod’s mouth and made long sweeping motions as Jarrod plunged his own tongue into Adam’s. Jarrod’s fingers worked at the buttons of Adam’s shirt, needing more of what had been so long denied. There wasn’t enough time to get all he wanted from the one he’d denied for so long and his fingers fought for more of the delicious contact with skin that burned his senses. As he pushed aside the shirt and found the thick mat of hair, he ran his fingers through the course curls, making Adam hiss at the contact. Adam balanced himself above Jarrod and quickly undid his shirt, his hands needing to touch the smooth skin. Jarrod was lost in the sensations and selfishly let Adam caress his chest and abdomen. When Adam found the tight pebble on his chest and encircled it with a light touch of his finger, Jarrod clenched the bedcovers in a tight fist. His breathing increased and his burgeoning length pushed against the coarse material of his pants. Adam’s own hardness pulsed against Jarrod’s thigh and he shivered every time Jarrod reacted to his teasing caresses. Letting his fingers drift lower, Adam was entranced by the way the muscles of Jarrod’s abdomen rippled in his wake. When he reached the waistband of Jarrod’s pants he could see the outline of his erection and he startled at the size. His eyes darkening with desire as he reached in with his fingers, trying to touch the prize that lie beneath. Jarrod lay gasping for air and when Adam hesitated, Jarrod opened his eyes and found him staring, begging permission with dark desire filled eyes. “Please Adam. Touch me!”
Adam’s hand shook as he worked the buttons of Jarrod’s pants, and hearing Jarrod’s breathing change he pressed himself harder against his thigh, his own member throbbing painfully. When Jarrod’s bulging thickness sprang out of his pants, Adam’s eyes widened at the size but resisted the temptation to touch it. Jarrod was desperate for his touch, and he thrashed on the bed trying to push himself towards Adam’s hand. Instead, Adam slipped his hand into Jarrod’s pants and ran it down his thigh avoiding the pulsing heat that tempted him. On the upward sweep, his fingers found Jarrod’s sac and he played with the tight orbs until he had Jarrod moaning softly with pleasure. Pulling his hand out a little more, he had to close his eyes and fight for control when he grasped the base of Jarrod’s shaft, marveling at the softness of such steely hardness. Never had he imagined the thrill or need touching another man would bring him. That it was Jarrod was almost too much and he fought for control not to explode prematurely. Jarrod was beside himself and covering his mouth with his forearm, bit down, afraid he would cry out at the unbelievable pleasure that coursed through him.
Closing his eyes at the sight Jarrod presented, Adam fought for control as his hips thrust sharply into Jarrod’s thigh with ever increasing speed. Both men were on the edge, and when Adam curiously let his thumb collect the wetness at the tip of Jarrod’s crown, he watched in amazement as Jarrod’s shaft swelled even larger. Jarrod was wild with need and be begged through gritted teeth, “Oh god Adam. Please!”
Grasping Jarrod’s pulsing length, Adam stroked him tenderly, savoring the feel of the powerful staff. It was too much for Jarrod and he bucked into Adam’s hand desperate for release. Adam strokes became harder and faster when suddenly Jarrod’s hands clamped down on the bed, his hips shot upward, and he bit his lip to keep from screaming Adam’s name. Watching in fascination, Adam almost lost control when Jarrod’s stomach muscles began quivering and his balls pulled up sharply against the base of his shaft. The thickness in his hand pulsed with the added flow of blood and Jarrod spurted stream after stream of milky white substance over his hand. Jarrod’s body stayed tight and tense until the Adam pulled every drop from his needy flesh and only when he was done did Jarrod sag to the bed, totally spent.
Shuddering in the aftermath of such a powerful orgasm, Jarrod tried to remove Adam’s belt to get to his bulging erection. Adam’s need was so strong, that he was struggled not to thrust. Weakly, Jarrod pushed Adam onto his back and quickly undid his belt and a couple of buttons. Slipping his hand into Adam’s pants, Jarrod shivered uncontrollably at the size and length of his friend’s manhood. Not as thick as his own, but certainly a little longer, Jarrod only barely grasped it when Adam’s hand covered his own and with two sharp thrusts, he pumped his hot seed all over his belly. Jarrod reclaimed Adam’s mouth, his tongue plunging inward to stop the moans that threatened from Adam’s throat. His hand worked Adam’s length until there was nothing more to give and he was gasping for air. Lying at Adam’s side, Jarrod felt him twitching from the tiny aftershocks and he smiled in satisfaction. His hand slid from Adam’s groin up to his chest and he played with the hairs there. The idea that he could excite Adam was heady and he never wanted it to end. All his dreams and desires were now completely focused on the man beside him. It was terrifying and exciting to admit that all his thoughts were of a man and not of some woman, as others expected of him.
Adam’s hand rested on Jarrod’s forearm, caressing it as he fingered his chest. He sighed heavily, “You should go. We both need some sleep and the last thing you need is for your family to find you in here with me.”
“I know. Just a few more minutes.” Jarrod moved closer and Adam hugged him tight, neither of them wanting to give up the moment. After several minutes, Jarrod sighed and patted Adam’s chest signaling his time to leave. “We can go for a ride tomorrow. I’ll show you the ranch. It’ll give us at least the day together.” His voice held a certain sadness, but he refused to let it tarnish this chance they’d been given. Jarrod sat up and dropped his feet off the edge of the bed.
Adam moved behind him and wrapping his arms around him, took a deep breath, inhaling Jarrod’s scent. “We’ll just have to figure something out.”
