![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: Broken Trust
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chaps1870
Pairing: McShep
Rating: R
Spoiler: Trinity
Summary: Rodney tries to regain the trust he's lost only it doesn't work out like he plans
Disclaimer: Not mine, too bad.
A/N Technically it's morning here, so you get this one early today. Any problems with it should be addressed to my beta, she promised to protect me.
Chapter Eight
John walked blindly down the halls, his mind on Rodney. All he could think of was his earlier conversation with Carson and Rodney’s verbal attack in the infirmary.
He’d forced McKay to confront their captors for food, using words he knew would get results. Rodney had tried to tell him that it would end badly, but John let his anger and frustration blind him to anything Rodney was saying. It hurt more than he thought possible knowing that Rodney had taken a beating, one that he knew he’d get before even asking for the food. And it was all made worse when the damn man did it again…for him. Rodney had gone back for more food despite having been beaten once for doing just that.
It was bad enough he’d ignored his friend in the days following the Arcturus incident but everything since the mission was slowly eating away at him. He couldn’t blame Rodney for anything he said in the infirmary. He knew it was directed at him more so than the others and he deserved it. Deserved Rodney’s contempt. Rather than show him some support during his recovery he’d vanished, letting his own guilt consume him. Not very good friend material and Rodney had finally snapped and called him on it.
John shifted his arm in the sling, wincing at the pain in his shoulder. It was still sore when he moved it just wrong. It was minor compared to Rodney’s injuries. Another grim reminder of his lame efforts to protect his friend.
He’d never expected the Kormaks to shoot him, but then he hadn’t expected them to beat Rodney for asking for food either. He’d underestimated his captors a second time and hadn’t been unable to stop Rodney from going back, even after he promised he wouldn’t have to. It was a promise he shouldn’t have made but at the time he’d have done anything to soothe Rodney’s fears. Holding the trembling man as he tried to sleep brought up feelings John had tried to bury after their friendship went to hell, feelings that both men had barely begun to acknowledge, let alone discuss or act on.
Arguing for Rodney’s freedom when the enemy had guns probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. Getting shot only made the situation worse and left Rodney with little choice but to go back to work. There was no way McKay would stand by and watch the others get hurt if he could prevent it. As much as the man bitched and moaned about personal injury, he didn’t hesitate when it came to his teammates. John should have known that, should have trusted Rodney enough to know that he was doing all he could even before John had made him feel like a heel about it.
The soldier was supposed to be the one protecting the scientist, not the other way around. John’s trust in Rodney had been damaged by the Arcturus incident, but he’d let his own mistrust guide his actions. By not trusting Rodney, he lost his friend’s trust in the process. How could Rodney trust him when he couldn’t even protect him on a mission. Rodney had done everything in his power for his teammates and John had missed it, denied that the scientist was capable of doing the right thing.
John should have stayed in the infirmary with Rodney. Should have found out what was bothering him so much that he didn’t want any of them even close to him. Deep down he was afraid of what he’d discover.
Still, he had to know and maybe going in the back door would shed some light on the whole thing with Rodney and make some sense of it. He hoped that looking in McKay’s medical file would at least give him some leverage in helping Rodney through whatever was bothering him. He’d spent too much time wallowing in his own guilt, it was time to suck it up and do right by his friend.
Entering the labs, he found Dr. Zelenka, glasses in hand and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Sensing a presence, the man slipped his glasses on and looked up. “Colonel. I did not hear you come in. Is there something I can do for you?”
“You look like shit, Doc,” said Sheppard as he wandered into the lab. He sat on the edge of a nearby desk.
Radek shot him a look and deadpanned, “Yes, almost as good as you.”
“Yeah well, I haven’t been at my best lately,” said John, not bothering to hide the meaning in his words.
“It would seem none of us have, Colonel,” sighed Radek. He added quietly, “I only hope that we have a second chance.” The tone of voice and grim look drew a concerned look from Sheppard.
“That’s why I’m here. I need your help,” said Sheppard.
Radek frowned, “My help?”
“Yeah, I need you to hack into McKay’s file. Find out what they’re hiding. Something is going on with him and I need to know what it is.”
Shaking his head, Radek replied, “I do not think that is wise, Colonel.”
“Why not? You saw how he was.”
“Yes, Colonel, I saw,” sighed Radek, pushing up his glasses as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“Well?” Sheppard was beginning to get impatient and worried about Radek’s reluctance to say anything and it showed.
“I do not think you want to know and I could be mistaken,” said Radek, unable to look Sheppard in the eye. He turned his chair and tried to focus on his laptop.
Sheppard gritted his teeth, his patience wearing thin. Something was going on and he was being kept out of the loop. He stepped up over desk and leaned over the top of the computer Radek was blankly staring at. “I’ll take my chances. You either tell me or you can help me hack into the file. Either way I’m gonna find out.” His tone left no room for argument.
Pushing his chair back, Radek stared at Sheppard, before releasing a heavy sigh, “When I was younger my uncle was imprisoned for going against government. He came to live with my family after his release and would not allow anyone close to him. If anyone tried to touch him he reacted much like Rodney does.” Radek hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck where the sweat was gathering.
“Why?” It was the only response John could utter as he kept the tremble out of his voice. He could feel the cold, clamminess of fear build on his skin and the tightening of muscles as they tensed, ready for the worst.
Radek lifted his head slowly, looking Sheppard in the eye as he answered, his own anguish evident, “He was raped.”
John paled and as his stomach started to roil he pointed sharply at Zelenka’s computer. “Open his file.”
Shaking his head, Radek didn’t move, “Please, Colonel, I could be wrong. I do not think we should do this.”
“Open it!” John demanded sternly, his body taut and ready, but barely held in check as he stared at the scientist.
Blowing out a breath, Radek scooted his chair closer to the desk and adjusted the laptop. “I only do this because I know you are concerned for Rodney. If he finds out we have done this he will not be very happy. In fact I predict much screaming and shouting.”
“So we don’t tell him,” said Sheppard, not really convinced that if what Zelenka was saying was true he would be able to act as if he didn’t know. He still hoped the man was wrong and there was something else responsible for Rodney’s behavior. If it was true, then…oh god, he didn’t even want to think about it. His guilt was pressing in on him as it was. This…this would…he wasn’t going to think about it.
It was then that Radek paled and reaching out for the laptop, slowly turned it so John could read it. He didn’t need to. The look on Radek’s face confirmed it. His stomach chose that moment to rebel and rushing to the lab sink, threw up until the dry heaves had him gasping for a breath. A cool rag brushed his neck as he leaned onto the counter, his trembling knees threatening to send him crashing to the floor. He saved himself the spectacular fall and slid down to the floor, cradling his head in his hand.
Radek dropped down beside him and said softly, “I am sorry, Colonel.”
John lifted his head and let it fall back on the cabinet behind him, his eyes closed. His voice wavered as he spoke and was filled with recrimination, “I should have stopped him. Shouldn’t have let them take him.”
“You could not know they would do this. I’m sure Rodney knows this.”
Opening his eyes, John looked down again, unable to meet Radek’s gaze. “I didn’t trust him to do the right thing. I kept pushing him to get us food.” He shook his head, disgusted with himself, “I let him go back after they beat him the first time. I was afraid if I didn’t they would shoot Teyla or Ronon. I put them ahead of him, because I was so sure they wouldn’t kill him.”
Drawing up his knees, Radek spoke quietly, “And they didn’t, Colonel. Yes, he was raped but that is better than being dead.”
“Tell that to Rodney,” huffed Sheppard.
“I plan to,” answered Radek then added cautiously, “if it comes up.”
His response got John’s attention, who realized that the scientist was taking the practical approach, not unsurprising really. Radek was one of the few that could talk to McKay on a personal level and not get his head ripped off. Usually he gave as good as he got. “So I take it you aren’t mad at him any more.”
“Are you?”
John shook his head, “More angry with myself.”
“You should not blame yourself, Colonel. You have no control over the actions of people with no conscience.”
“It’s not that,” sighed John, shifting his shoulder as he tried to find a more comfortable position on the floor. “He apologized after the accident, a real honest to god apology and I couldn’t forgive him. I was so pissed off that I threw it back in his face and told him he’d have to work at gaining my trust back. Everything he did on that planet was him trying to do that and I treated him like shit. They were beating him from the start and I sent him back into the lions den, and he went with his head down and his tail between his legs.” In frustration, Sheppard pounded his head into the wall a few times, “What kind of friend does that? I wanted to see him suffer and I held my trust over his head like a fucking carrot. Just out of reach.”
“I don’t think any of us are too proud of how we treated him, Colonel. I was angry too, but for different reasons.”
“You mean other than him telling you that you didn’t understand it on the same level he did?”
“Which is true of course, but that is not why I was angry with him. He is smarter than anyone I have ever met and has great faith in his abilities. It can be very intimidating.”
“I can’t imagine you being intimidated by McKay,” said Sheppard, knowing Radek was one of the few, beside himself, who did not back down from Rodney’s daunting personality.
“Personally, no. Intellectually, yes…sometimes. I should have argued for more testing or at least tried to reason with him more. I thought perhaps I had missed something. It is rare, but it has happened and I second guessed myself that day. I was angry because he made me doubt myself and I took it out on him, just as we all did.” Radek stopped and looked at Sheppard. “Rodney is my friend, probably the best friend I have here. He was right to get angry with us. If he had not gotten hurt, I would not have realized how much I would have missed him and would have continued to ignore him.” Hesitating, Radek sighed as his eyes grew distant, contemplating the possibilities. “It does not make me a very good friend, so you are not alone in guilt department, Colonel.”
“How do we fix it?” asked Sheppard, wondering if it was even fixable.
Radek shrugged. Standing up, he reached out a hand to help the Colonel to his feet “Perhaps you should tell him what you have told me and I will do the same. He is smart man, maybe he will understand.”
John took the offered hand and stood. He didn’t want to think about the rape, but at least Radek had helped him realize some truths and he felt like he had a starting place to get back what he’d lost. Turning to leave, Sheppard dropped his hand on Radek’s back, “Thanks, Doc.”
“Is no problem. I hope you can help him. You and he are…” Radek paused, clearly considering his next words carefully. “You are good for each other. Do not let this stand in your way.”
Taken aback, John stuttered, “Umm…we’re just friends.”
“More than friends I think, but I understand the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. I won’t ask and you do not have to tell me.” He hesitated briefly, then said sincerely, “I think it is a good thing even if you do not tell me.”
John shrugged sheepishly, “I gotta go. Thanks for the help.”
Radek smiled, “You are welcome.”
Making his way back to the infirmary, John tried to sit with Rodney, but Carson was playing doctor, insisting he return to his quarters to rest. He probably could have fought it, but the pain lines in his brow were the killer and Carson wasn’t taking no for an answer.
His conscience was only eased by the fact that Carson insisted that Rodney was down for the count and wouldn’t be awake for quite some time. The sedative, in combination with the exertion, had taken their toll on the scientist. Beckett made a point of saying he didn’t want to see John before morning.
Returning to his room, John drifted into an uneasy sleep, his dreams littered with images of Rodney.
“Tell them you won’t work unless they hand over some food.”
“Oh right, Colonel. Before or after they beat me to death?”
“Would you listen to yourself? They aren’t going to hurt you. They need you.”
“I’ll be lucky if they don’t kill me.”
“God McKay, all you ever think of is yourself. In case you haven’t noticed we are starving here.”
“Trust me…"
“We found him in the middle of a hallway trying to get to the rest of you. He had food and medicine and could have escaped with the guards gone. Instead he tried to get to where you were being held, literally crawling until he couldn’t anymore.”
“I did all I could to get your trust back and it meant nothing. You made me go back. You said to trust you. Well I did and it was for nothing. NOTHING! I tried to help. I tried to get food, medicine. I let that bastard Toban r…”
John jerked awake, soaked to the skin and gasping for air. A sob escaped as it all fell into place. Rodney had let Toban rape him for the damn medicine.
Part Nine
Author:
chaps1870Pairing: McShep
Rating: R
Spoiler: Trinity
Summary: Rodney tries to regain the trust he's lost only it doesn't work out like he plans
Disclaimer: Not mine, too bad.
A/N Technically it's morning here, so you get this one early today. Any problems with it should be addressed to my beta, she promised to protect me.
Chapter Eight
John walked blindly down the halls, his mind on Rodney. All he could think of was his earlier conversation with Carson and Rodney’s verbal attack in the infirmary.
He’d forced McKay to confront their captors for food, using words he knew would get results. Rodney had tried to tell him that it would end badly, but John let his anger and frustration blind him to anything Rodney was saying. It hurt more than he thought possible knowing that Rodney had taken a beating, one that he knew he’d get before even asking for the food. And it was all made worse when the damn man did it again…for him. Rodney had gone back for more food despite having been beaten once for doing just that.
It was bad enough he’d ignored his friend in the days following the Arcturus incident but everything since the mission was slowly eating away at him. He couldn’t blame Rodney for anything he said in the infirmary. He knew it was directed at him more so than the others and he deserved it. Deserved Rodney’s contempt. Rather than show him some support during his recovery he’d vanished, letting his own guilt consume him. Not very good friend material and Rodney had finally snapped and called him on it.
John shifted his arm in the sling, wincing at the pain in his shoulder. It was still sore when he moved it just wrong. It was minor compared to Rodney’s injuries. Another grim reminder of his lame efforts to protect his friend.
He’d never expected the Kormaks to shoot him, but then he hadn’t expected them to beat Rodney for asking for food either. He’d underestimated his captors a second time and hadn’t been unable to stop Rodney from going back, even after he promised he wouldn’t have to. It was a promise he shouldn’t have made but at the time he’d have done anything to soothe Rodney’s fears. Holding the trembling man as he tried to sleep brought up feelings John had tried to bury after their friendship went to hell, feelings that both men had barely begun to acknowledge, let alone discuss or act on.
Arguing for Rodney’s freedom when the enemy had guns probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. Getting shot only made the situation worse and left Rodney with little choice but to go back to work. There was no way McKay would stand by and watch the others get hurt if he could prevent it. As much as the man bitched and moaned about personal injury, he didn’t hesitate when it came to his teammates. John should have known that, should have trusted Rodney enough to know that he was doing all he could even before John had made him feel like a heel about it.
The soldier was supposed to be the one protecting the scientist, not the other way around. John’s trust in Rodney had been damaged by the Arcturus incident, but he’d let his own mistrust guide his actions. By not trusting Rodney, he lost his friend’s trust in the process. How could Rodney trust him when he couldn’t even protect him on a mission. Rodney had done everything in his power for his teammates and John had missed it, denied that the scientist was capable of doing the right thing.
John should have stayed in the infirmary with Rodney. Should have found out what was bothering him so much that he didn’t want any of them even close to him. Deep down he was afraid of what he’d discover.
Still, he had to know and maybe going in the back door would shed some light on the whole thing with Rodney and make some sense of it. He hoped that looking in McKay’s medical file would at least give him some leverage in helping Rodney through whatever was bothering him. He’d spent too much time wallowing in his own guilt, it was time to suck it up and do right by his friend.
Entering the labs, he found Dr. Zelenka, glasses in hand and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Sensing a presence, the man slipped his glasses on and looked up. “Colonel. I did not hear you come in. Is there something I can do for you?”
“You look like shit, Doc,” said Sheppard as he wandered into the lab. He sat on the edge of a nearby desk.
Radek shot him a look and deadpanned, “Yes, almost as good as you.”
“Yeah well, I haven’t been at my best lately,” said John, not bothering to hide the meaning in his words.
“It would seem none of us have, Colonel,” sighed Radek. He added quietly, “I only hope that we have a second chance.” The tone of voice and grim look drew a concerned look from Sheppard.
“That’s why I’m here. I need your help,” said Sheppard.
Radek frowned, “My help?”
“Yeah, I need you to hack into McKay’s file. Find out what they’re hiding. Something is going on with him and I need to know what it is.”
Shaking his head, Radek replied, “I do not think that is wise, Colonel.”
“Why not? You saw how he was.”
“Yes, Colonel, I saw,” sighed Radek, pushing up his glasses as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“Well?” Sheppard was beginning to get impatient and worried about Radek’s reluctance to say anything and it showed.
“I do not think you want to know and I could be mistaken,” said Radek, unable to look Sheppard in the eye. He turned his chair and tried to focus on his laptop.
Sheppard gritted his teeth, his patience wearing thin. Something was going on and he was being kept out of the loop. He stepped up over desk and leaned over the top of the computer Radek was blankly staring at. “I’ll take my chances. You either tell me or you can help me hack into the file. Either way I’m gonna find out.” His tone left no room for argument.
Pushing his chair back, Radek stared at Sheppard, before releasing a heavy sigh, “When I was younger my uncle was imprisoned for going against government. He came to live with my family after his release and would not allow anyone close to him. If anyone tried to touch him he reacted much like Rodney does.” Radek hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck where the sweat was gathering.
“Why?” It was the only response John could utter as he kept the tremble out of his voice. He could feel the cold, clamminess of fear build on his skin and the tightening of muscles as they tensed, ready for the worst.
Radek lifted his head slowly, looking Sheppard in the eye as he answered, his own anguish evident, “He was raped.”
John paled and as his stomach started to roil he pointed sharply at Zelenka’s computer. “Open his file.”
Shaking his head, Radek didn’t move, “Please, Colonel, I could be wrong. I do not think we should do this.”
“Open it!” John demanded sternly, his body taut and ready, but barely held in check as he stared at the scientist.
Blowing out a breath, Radek scooted his chair closer to the desk and adjusted the laptop. “I only do this because I know you are concerned for Rodney. If he finds out we have done this he will not be very happy. In fact I predict much screaming and shouting.”
“So we don’t tell him,” said Sheppard, not really convinced that if what Zelenka was saying was true he would be able to act as if he didn’t know. He still hoped the man was wrong and there was something else responsible for Rodney’s behavior. If it was true, then…oh god, he didn’t even want to think about it. His guilt was pressing in on him as it was. This…this would…he wasn’t going to think about it.
It was then that Radek paled and reaching out for the laptop, slowly turned it so John could read it. He didn’t need to. The look on Radek’s face confirmed it. His stomach chose that moment to rebel and rushing to the lab sink, threw up until the dry heaves had him gasping for a breath. A cool rag brushed his neck as he leaned onto the counter, his trembling knees threatening to send him crashing to the floor. He saved himself the spectacular fall and slid down to the floor, cradling his head in his hand.
Radek dropped down beside him and said softly, “I am sorry, Colonel.”
John lifted his head and let it fall back on the cabinet behind him, his eyes closed. His voice wavered as he spoke and was filled with recrimination, “I should have stopped him. Shouldn’t have let them take him.”
“You could not know they would do this. I’m sure Rodney knows this.”
Opening his eyes, John looked down again, unable to meet Radek’s gaze. “I didn’t trust him to do the right thing. I kept pushing him to get us food.” He shook his head, disgusted with himself, “I let him go back after they beat him the first time. I was afraid if I didn’t they would shoot Teyla or Ronon. I put them ahead of him, because I was so sure they wouldn’t kill him.”
Drawing up his knees, Radek spoke quietly, “And they didn’t, Colonel. Yes, he was raped but that is better than being dead.”
“Tell that to Rodney,” huffed Sheppard.
“I plan to,” answered Radek then added cautiously, “if it comes up.”
His response got John’s attention, who realized that the scientist was taking the practical approach, not unsurprising really. Radek was one of the few that could talk to McKay on a personal level and not get his head ripped off. Usually he gave as good as he got. “So I take it you aren’t mad at him any more.”
“Are you?”
John shook his head, “More angry with myself.”
“You should not blame yourself, Colonel. You have no control over the actions of people with no conscience.”
“It’s not that,” sighed John, shifting his shoulder as he tried to find a more comfortable position on the floor. “He apologized after the accident, a real honest to god apology and I couldn’t forgive him. I was so pissed off that I threw it back in his face and told him he’d have to work at gaining my trust back. Everything he did on that planet was him trying to do that and I treated him like shit. They were beating him from the start and I sent him back into the lions den, and he went with his head down and his tail between his legs.” In frustration, Sheppard pounded his head into the wall a few times, “What kind of friend does that? I wanted to see him suffer and I held my trust over his head like a fucking carrot. Just out of reach.”
“I don’t think any of us are too proud of how we treated him, Colonel. I was angry too, but for different reasons.”
“You mean other than him telling you that you didn’t understand it on the same level he did?”
“Which is true of course, but that is not why I was angry with him. He is smarter than anyone I have ever met and has great faith in his abilities. It can be very intimidating.”
“I can’t imagine you being intimidated by McKay,” said Sheppard, knowing Radek was one of the few, beside himself, who did not back down from Rodney’s daunting personality.
“Personally, no. Intellectually, yes…sometimes. I should have argued for more testing or at least tried to reason with him more. I thought perhaps I had missed something. It is rare, but it has happened and I second guessed myself that day. I was angry because he made me doubt myself and I took it out on him, just as we all did.” Radek stopped and looked at Sheppard. “Rodney is my friend, probably the best friend I have here. He was right to get angry with us. If he had not gotten hurt, I would not have realized how much I would have missed him and would have continued to ignore him.” Hesitating, Radek sighed as his eyes grew distant, contemplating the possibilities. “It does not make me a very good friend, so you are not alone in guilt department, Colonel.”
“How do we fix it?” asked Sheppard, wondering if it was even fixable.
Radek shrugged. Standing up, he reached out a hand to help the Colonel to his feet “Perhaps you should tell him what you have told me and I will do the same. He is smart man, maybe he will understand.”
John took the offered hand and stood. He didn’t want to think about the rape, but at least Radek had helped him realize some truths and he felt like he had a starting place to get back what he’d lost. Turning to leave, Sheppard dropped his hand on Radek’s back, “Thanks, Doc.”
“Is no problem. I hope you can help him. You and he are…” Radek paused, clearly considering his next words carefully. “You are good for each other. Do not let this stand in your way.”
Taken aback, John stuttered, “Umm…we’re just friends.”
“More than friends I think, but I understand the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. I won’t ask and you do not have to tell me.” He hesitated briefly, then said sincerely, “I think it is a good thing even if you do not tell me.”
John shrugged sheepishly, “I gotta go. Thanks for the help.”
Radek smiled, “You are welcome.”
Making his way back to the infirmary, John tried to sit with Rodney, but Carson was playing doctor, insisting he return to his quarters to rest. He probably could have fought it, but the pain lines in his brow were the killer and Carson wasn’t taking no for an answer.
His conscience was only eased by the fact that Carson insisted that Rodney was down for the count and wouldn’t be awake for quite some time. The sedative, in combination with the exertion, had taken their toll on the scientist. Beckett made a point of saying he didn’t want to see John before morning.
Returning to his room, John drifted into an uneasy sleep, his dreams littered with images of Rodney.
“Tell them you won’t work unless they hand over some food.”
“Oh right, Colonel. Before or after they beat me to death?”
“Would you listen to yourself? They aren’t going to hurt you. They need you.”
“I’ll be lucky if they don’t kill me.”
“God McKay, all you ever think of is yourself. In case you haven’t noticed we are starving here.”
“Trust me…"
“We found him in the middle of a hallway trying to get to the rest of you. He had food and medicine and could have escaped with the guards gone. Instead he tried to get to where you were being held, literally crawling until he couldn’t anymore.”
“I did all I could to get your trust back and it meant nothing. You made me go back. You said to trust you. Well I did and it was for nothing. NOTHING! I tried to help. I tried to get food, medicine. I let that bastard Toban r…”
John jerked awake, soaked to the skin and gasping for air. A sob escaped as it all fell into place. Rodney had let Toban rape him for the damn medicine.
Part Nine
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Make it better. Now.
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And Rodney is really angry. What does a spleen do anyway?
Great Chapter.
Too bad it is 3:45 a.m. for me and I have no idea when I will get my next fix... :P
~Innogen
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p.s. The spleen helps to destroy old red blood cells, form lymphocytes, and store blood. A person can do without it.
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*wibbles* My poor boys. *snuggles carefully*
I both totally despise you, and love you to pieces right now.
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Such another good chapter, just loving this story *but I need to go find some happy McSheppy drawings or something now ;) *
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The psychological angst is even better than the physical one =D
I love that Rodney has the guts to tell them how he feels about they way they treated him. He may be weakened but he's still the Rodney we love so much.
His emotional state sounds so realistic, you did a great job on that.
On a more technical note, I don't think Beckett should breach patient's confidentiality and tell Elisabeth about the rape. He doesn't have the right to discuss that with her, unless it prevents Rodney to work properly and then I could see your point. But he shouldn't tell her that early on.
Anyway, I can't wait to see what happens next and how you're going to make things right between John and Rodney! I see more John owies in the near future now that he knows the truth, and I can imagine that his reaction is going to be misinterpreted and will hurt Rodney even more ;-)
I love your stories so damn much! Update soon!
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Thanks. *g*
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You've reallly written a heartwarming and sad story here... tell me, is there light for the boys??? I hope they both recover soon coz it's so sad and yet beautiful to read this series.
And sweet Carson, such a darling as always. :D
Great work.
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I would tell what is going to happen but then I would have to kill you. ;)
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*I already read the next part, and yep, it's still killing me* *smile*
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