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Chapter Seven
John was terrified, knowing he wasn’t supposed to touch anything and now he was sitting in some glowy chair that apparently had a mind of its own. He really liked Antarctica and hoped General O’Neill was as easy going as he seemed or he’d be shipped off to god knew where this time for disobeying orders once again. He was running out of places to go. Thankfully, they were more impressed with some gene he had than anything else.
The scientist in red kept eyeing him every time he turned around but he managed to keep his distance with every one all abuzz and talking all at once. There was something about the guy that John couldn’t put his finger on and found himself staring back a time or two, trying to figure it out. When General O’Neill finally contacted him to warm up the chopper because they were heading back to McMurdo, John was ready to go.
He’d just boarded the elevator and the doors closed when the guy in red rushed forward, “Major Sheppard!”
John smiled down at him as the lift started to ascend, “Sorry, maybe next time.”
“No wait, I need to talk to you,” insisted the man.
“Sorry, I have orders,” John shrugged, flashing an unsympathetic smile. His eyes caught on the blue gazing back at him, the tinge of hurt there vaguely familiar. He frowned as he struggled to place the guy and was totally unprepared when someone called out from below. “Dr. McKay.”
John stood with his face to the edge of the caged elevator trying to peer down when the man shouted back at someone, “What, you can’t manage for five seconds on your own? I’m not here to babysit and wipe your ass.”
His knees threatened to buckle and John turned to the Marine running the elevator, trying to keep his tone even, “Take me back down.”
The marine shook his head, “Sorry, Sir. The General ordered me to escort you topside. He’s leaving in five minutes.”
John looked back down the elevator shaft, his face pale, his hands shaking as he muttered under his breath, “Damn.”
*********
Rodney stared up the empty shaft, upset with himself for not confronting the man sooner and now he’d lost his chance. He remembered rounding the corner and setting eyes on the man in the Ancient chair. The similarities to the one and only friend of his youth were too coincidental and the name on the jacket quickly confirmed the scientist’s suspicions. After twenty years of no contact, of occasional wistful wondering, their paths had finally crossed again.
He’d been too shocked to even contribute when Dr. Weir cornered Sheppard after, practically begging him to join the expedition. Sheppard looked overwhelmed, hiding it behind a smile and knowing nods that Rodney remembered all too well. The cockiness of a 17-year-old barely masked by the military stoicism.
It was rude to stare, but Rodney couldn’t help it. Before he could recover from the shock of it all, Lieutenant Ford arrived, informing Sheppard that the General would be leaving soon. Weir left in a rush to find O’Neill. Sheppard left to warm up the chopper and Rodney watched him go, unable to process quickly enough to catch up. By the time he realized his mistake, John was gone.
He didn’t know whether to be saddened that the Major hadn’t recognized him or proud that Sheppard had actually realized his dream of becoming a pilot. Through the years, he’d resisted the urge to look him up or worse use his connections to find Sheppard’s records. If he was military, Rodney could have easily found his file, but could never make himself do it. Besides violating his friend’s privacy, he was terrified of finding out he been killed in action or some such horrific fate. Ignorance was definitely bliss in this case.
The rest of the afternoon was spent in a flurry of activity, everyone excited at the prospect of going on the long awaited journey. Even knowing it might very well be a one way trip didn’t curb their enthusiasm. Too distracted, Rodney couldn’t concentrate on preparations and ended up taking off early, barricading himself in his room to avoid the endless questions about possible manifest for the trip.
He rummaged through his duffle and found his wallet. He opened it, pulled out a piece of paper. Eyes transfixed on the paper, he absently dropped the wallet back in the bag and shuffled to the bed. Sitting down, his hands trembled slightly as he carefully opened the worn and tattered letter. The words were faded, but it didn’t really matter. Rodney knew them by heart.
Hey kid,
The key gets you into the apartment I got for you. It’s not much but it beats sleeping in a shed and it’s paid up until Fall. You said you had a full ride to college but no way to get there. Here’s your plane ticket, so no excuses. Get your skinny butt to college and don’t look back. The rest is for food. If you don’t splurge on steak and lobster it should be enough to keep you from starving. Wish I could’ve done more, but more than anything I wish I didn’t have to go away. Sorry about that.
Do what you have to do to stay alive and don’t ever give up. Someday we’ll meet up and you can let me know how it all turned out.
Take care kid, J.
Rodney vision blurred and he blinked away the moisture. His hands shook worse now, the way they always did when he was pulled back into the past. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. The hurt watching John drive away that day had never really faded. The best he’d ever managed was to hide it behind arrogance and sarcasm, vowing never to let anyone that close to him ever again. It had served him well until today.
He remembered too well the devastation he’d experienced seeing John leave that fateful day, feeling abandoned. Not know for his patience, he’d opened the envelope before as soon as John had walked away. That day his hands shook when he discovered the key, the ticket and the money, almost a thousand dollars in cash nestled in the envelope.
It took Rodney only seconds to realize where the money had come from and he couldn’t stop the overwhelming grief when he realized the only person that ever gave a damn about him was leaving. He wanted to run after the car, beg John to stay or take him with him. It was a totally irrational plan and in the end Rodney ducked his head and bawled like a baby. It was the last time he felt sorry for himself or let himself cry over his pathetic existence. After that, his determination to be the best overrode all else, confident that someday he’d run into Sheppard and prove that his sacrifice had not been in vain.
Sitting on his bed, his hands shaking, Rodney wiped his eyes and carefully folded the letter, putting it away for safekeeping. It was the one and only thing of his childhood that he refused to part with. He paced his room after that, berating himself for not speaking to Sheppard and working himself into a sleepless state. By midnight, he’d convinced himself that the man had recognized him and had chosen not to reestablish contact. By dawn, he’d worked himself into a sorry state and decided he’d put in a call to McMurdo, see if Sheppard would meet with him.
It was noonish by the time he worked up the courage and not a soul was spared his wrath that day. For Rodney, it was too little, too late. Major John Sheppard had been shipped stateside for a thirty day leave just that morning and couldn’t be reached. The final week at Antarctica was a living nightmare for anyone unfortunate enough to cross paths with Dr. Rodney McKay.
************
Two weeks at the SGC making the final preparations and Rodney was granted two weeks vacation to make any final goodbyes, get his affairs in order, blah blah blah. Before leaving, he scanned the personnel list, taking note of the fact that the name John Sheppard still hadn’t appeared. He ordered take out, picked up a six pack and had every intention of holing up in his apartment for the duration of the two weeks.
The third day of his self imposed isolation, the doorbell rang, taking five years off his life as he tumbled off the couch. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he tried to focus on his watch but gave up as he half crawled to the door, squinting against the harsh light of day. Leaning heavily into the wall, Rodney opened the door, his verbal lashing at the interloper dying on his lips at the sight of man standing in the door. He stood staring, unable to formulate any words and the only thing holding him up was the death grip on the door knob.
Sheppard smiled sheepishly, peering over Rodney’s shoulder as he asked, “You gonna let me in, kid.”
Flustered, Rodney waved him in, “Um…yeah…come in.”
John stepped inside, taking in the cluttered apartment and Rodney stood there watching unsure what to say or do. He finally asked, “How did you know how to find me?”
Shrugging, John answered, “I asked.”
Rodney’s hands were a flurry of motion as he spoke, “You want coffee or something because right now I have no idea what to say and my brain is still caffeine deprived and I could really use something to wake me up so I’m assured this isn’t a dream or worse a liquor induced hallucination.”
John laughed and followed Rodney to the kitchen. “Glad to see you haven’t lost your touch.”
Flipping him off over his shoulder, Rodney snagged a pair of pants off the chair and stumbled into the kitchen. John caught up and dropped a hand on his shoulder, turning him. “Why don’t you go take a shower and let me fix the coffee. You look like shit.”
Rodney scrubbed at the three day growth of beard and said bitterly, “Yes well, I was agonizing over not being able to contact a certain Air Force Major so you’ll forgive me if I’m not at my best.”
The hand on his shoulder tightened and Rodney found himself being hugged. He tried to pull away but damn if he really wanted to and he was suddenly transported back to a time when friendship meant more than breathing and he returned the embrace. His voice didn’t even break when he muttered, “I missed you.”
John patted his back, “I missed you too, kid.”
Rodney pushed away, rolling his eyes and sneering, “I believe I’ve grown out of that distinction. You on the other hand haven’t changed much.” Looking him over more closely, Rodney teased, “Although you aren’t as tall as I remember, flyboy.”
“I’ve actually added an inch or two since then,” John said indignantly. Crossing his arms, he leaned into the wall as he said contritely, “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you. You’ve changed.”
Rodney looked down at his much bigger frame, stuttering a reply, “Regular meals and life in the labs aren’t the best combination.”
John reached out and grabbed his arm, getting his attention. “You look good, really.” He smiled and pushed him Rodney away from the kitchen door. “Go get a shower. You’ll feel better and we can talk. I want to hear what you’ve been up to all these years.”
Nodding, Rodney trudged to the shower. He stalled, even taking the time to shave. The smell of coffee finally lured him out of the bathroom and he entered the kitchen to find a coffee and a plate of breakfast waiting for him. He couldn’t decide whether to be offended or touched that Sheppard was once again looking out for him. Going with grateful he muffled a thanks as he pounced on the coffee and began inhaling the bacon and eggs. After a few bites he asked around a mouthful of food, “Where did you get food? I’m pretty sure there wasn’t anything in the house.”
Eating his own breakfast more leisurely, John answered after he swallowed, “I was camping out for a few days. I had some stuff in my cooler. If I’m gonna stay here for the rest of my leave you are going to have to go grocery shopping.”
Rodney brightened, shoveling more food into his mouth, “Yes, yes of course.” He waved his fork at John, “but only if you cook. I can heat a can of beans but that’s about it.”
“How did you manage to avoid learning to cook all these years?”
“Take out suits me just fine. No clean up that way.”
John looked around the messy apartment, teasing, “Yeah I can see where that would be a problem.”
Rodney sniped back, “I wasn’t expecting company.” Finishing his breakfast, he pushed the plate aside and reached for more coffee. He looked at John’s half eaten breakfast and snapped his fingers, “Eat up. There’s something I want to show you.”
“Are you always such a pushy bastard?”
Nodding, Rodney grinned, “Yeah, pretty much. You can add arrogant and bad with people to that. I’m sure you’ve already heard all the bad things about Dr. Rodney McKay. No point glossing it over.” It surprised him at the ease he felt around this man, his friend. It was as if the intervening years hadn’t been spent apart.
“You forgot brilliant,” said John.
Rodney rolled his eyes, “Yes, well that’s a given.”
Taking a sip of coffee, John asked hesitantly, “So what have you been up to all these years?”
“How high is your clearance?” asked Rodney half serious.
John raised an eyebrow. “Well, I know all about the Stargate Program. Is that high enough?”
Rodney nodded and asked a question of his own, “Have you made a decision? We could really use someone with the gene. Those that have it don’t seem to have the natural affinity for the technology that you do.”
“I spent hours flipping a coin, kept coming up heads.”
His heart raced and Rodney questioned anxiously “Is that a yes or a no? I’m not good at flyboy speak. I need something more articulate to go on here.”
Laughing, John replied, “It’s not like I have anywhere else to go and since you’re going, I figured someone should be there to keep you out of trouble.”
Rodney beamed, too damn happy to be offended. The day was just getting better and better. “Well thank you for the vote of confidence. I’ve managed on my own for some time now.”
A moment of awkward silence passed between them before John asked again, “So, what have you been up to? Did you get to school in one piece?”
Thankful for the cup of coffee to hide the momentary pause, Rodney answered quietly, “Without you, I don’t think I would have made to college. You…well…you made all difference.” He ducked his head, talking into his coffee cup that shook slightly in his hands. “I’m glad you came along when you did.” Rodney couldn’t say anymore and left it at that for now, even though John deserved to hear more. Another sip of coffee and he began telling John what he had done through the years and they traded stories, talking until lunch rolled around.
John dug through his cooler and they managed to come up with a decent lunch. Rodney finished off his two sandwiches in record time and sat impatiently for John to finish. “Okay, now that we’ve traded life stories, I want to show you something.”
“So you said. I thought you’d changed your mind,” countered John, smiling mischievously.
Glancing at John’s plate for the third time, Rodney finally huffed, “I thought they taught you to eat fast in the military.” Grabbing the plate, he finished it off in several bites, and pushed it back, “There, you’re done. Let’s go.”
John pouted, “You ate my lunch.”
Rodney pulled him out of the chair and pushed him towards the door. “Next time you’ll just have to eat faster.”
Glaring at him over his shoulder, John snapped, “Are you always this demanding because it’s not a very endearing quality?”
“Hmph,” huffed Rodney, pulling John down several flights of stairs, through the parking garage to the storage area on the far side.
“Where are you taking me?” asked Sheppard, hiding his curiosity with a whine.
Chapter Eight
Walking down the line of storage units, Rodney stopped in front of 22 and pulling a lone key from his pocket, hunched over the padlock and opened it. Slipping the lock out of place, he grabbed the handle and with some effort, raised the heavy door. John looked on with barely contained perplexity.
The inside was too dark to reveal anything and John stood watching as Rodney entered. After a few mutter curses and bruised shins, Rodney flipped on a light. He warily stayed his place for a moment, glancing cautiously at John before taking a couple of steps to remove the dust cover from the object taking up most of the small unit.
Rodney turned enough to see John’s reaction, feeling the clenching in his gut as Sheppard’s wide eyes darted between Rodney and the object in question. John’s footfalls were slow, stunned almost and he whispered, his voice filled with awe, “You bought the bike.” He stepped forward slowly, his hand coming up reverently to touch before he was even close enough.
Shrugging shyly, Rodney answered just as softly, “For you.” When John frowned, Rodney continued, his actions more animated as he flitted around the bike nervously. “I know it’s not what we picked out, but it took me a few years before I could buy it. I did manage to get it in silver though.” He paused, then added in a rush, “I hope it’s okay. I know where all that money came from and I wanted to repay you somehow. It took me a few years to buy it but I wanted to have it for you in case I ever ran into you again.”
John circled the bike, his fingertips dancing lightly over the surface. He stopped near the tank and traced a finger around the blue Air Force symbol painted on the gas tank, but said nothing. Rodney’s nerves were close to shot when no response was forthcoming and he spoke hesitantly, “If you…um…don’t like it, I…uh…you don’t have to take it. It’s not a…ah big deal, really. I just…”
A quiet voice interrupted his rambling. “I love it.” John finally looked up, beaming, his eyes shining. He cleared his throat before speaking, “It looks brand new.”
Rodney shrugged, “I’ve had it for about ten years now. I’ve never ridden it, though.”
John raised a brow, shocked. “Why?”
Again Rodney shrugged, ducking his head shyly and feeling fourteen all over again. “It was for you. After all you did for me I figured you should be the first one to ride it.”
“Let’s go,” grinned John, slapping Rodney in the chest.
Rubbing the offended spot, Rodney emitted an incredulous squeak, “Now?”
John grinned, “Yeah, it’ll be great. Come on.”
“But we don’t have helmets,” argued Rodney anxiously, looking for a way out.
“We don’t need helmets,” John said, grabbing the bike and pushing it out of the unit. Looking over his shoulder he smiled, “Grab the door.”
Rodney followed behind blindly, but arguing nonetheless. “This really isn’t a good idea. I’m about to embark on an important journey, one where my intelligence might be the only thing between life and death, namely mine. It really wouldn’t be wise to have my brains splattered like road kill on some highway in the middle of nowhere.”
“Don’t be such a girl,” teased John, straddling the bike and looking up at McKay. “If it really worries you that much, we’ll stop and get some helmets.”
Snorting, Rodney rolled his eyes, as he begrudgingly settled behind Sheppard as he started the bike. “With my luck I’ll die between here and the bike shop, depriving the world of my genius.”
John revved up the bike, dropped it in gear and Rodney was pretty sure he squealed, but with his heartbeat was pounding in his ears, he couldn’t be sure as he hung on for dear life. His hands grabbed John’s shirt in a death grip, and he was too terrified to even speak. A trip to the motorcycle shop for helmets, another stop for beer on the way out of town and Rodney was finally able to breathe normally again, but only because John was tired of getting pinched every time he pushed the speed limit.
Two hours later found them lounging beside a fire in small roadside park drinking beer and reliving their younger days.
Taking a swig of beer, Rodney finally spoke up, “So how did your dad take the whole Air Force thing?”
“Well he didn’t kick me out,” laughed John, shifting a bit closer to the fire. “He wasn’t too happy but when he saw my grades he caved.” Shrugging, John added, “Guess he figured if I wanted to be a pilot I might actually go on to college. The grades convinced him it was something I was serious about.”
Rodney replied longingly, “I didn’t see your dad as the type that would dump his son, regardless of what your aspirations were.”
“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. I knew he’d be pissed but at least he was willing to listen. It was weird in a way.”
“How so?” asked Rodney, peeling the label off his beer and throwing the pieces into the fire.
“After my mom died we kind of drifted apart and never really got along. About the time we moved, I got along with him better than I ever had,” John said, following Rodney’s example by pulling the label off his bottle.
Rodney chuckled, “Maybe because he wasn’t pulling his hair out trying to get through that stubborn, thick, flyboy skull of yours. Let’s face it. You were no longer hanging out with scum of the Earth, killing your brain cells with toxic substances. I’m sure that was rather a relief to him.”
John sneered, “Don’t you think scum is rather harsh?”
“Oh please, I was there, remember?”
There was a slight catch in John’s voice as he uttered solemnly, “Yeah, I do.”
Rodney looked up to see the sorrow reflected in his friends eyes. He cringed, “Sorry. Not the best of times, I suppose.”
A small smile graced John’s face as he stared into the fire “Actually they were.”
Eyes wide, it took Rodney a few seconds then his features softened and he smiled in agreement. “They were, weren’t they?” They sat for several minutes in quiet contemplation before Rodney muttered softly, “The best of times, the worst of times.”
John nervously grabbed another beer for himself and handed the last one to Rodney. “I didn’t want to leave.”
“I know.” Rodney nodded, his eyes transfixed by the fire. “It didn’t make it any easier. You were the only person that ever… cared” Looking up from the fire, he looked across at John, “Even now I still don’t know why you did what you did.”
It was John’s turn to stare into the fire. “I wish I could answer that. It was something I had to do. If I hadn’t done it then I would have regretted it the rest of my life.”
The silence descended again, only the sound of the crackling fire filled the air. Rodney occasionally glanced John’s way and sensed there was more. “What?”
Taking a drink, John swallowed hard, “Did you ever talk to your parents or sister again?”
Giving him a crazed look, Rodney snorted, “Why would I do that?”
“So you never tried to see them after that?” questioned John, determinedly.
Rodney shifted uncomfortably, hesitating before he finally spoke, “I talked to my sister on the phone a few times, but I moved around so much that it was hard to make any real connection.”
“And your parents?”
“I never tried. My sister kept me updated and I was assured they hadn’t had any late in life epiphany’s regarding me. I doubt I would have believed them anyway. I had my life, they had theirs. There was no happy medium.” Rodney was decidedly uncomfortable with the conversation and changed it, “You still talk to your dad?”
John dropped his head, shaking it. “He died a while back.”
Rodney felt the heat in his face, mentally chastising himself at his blunder, “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. We had a great relationship after that month with you. I guess I figured out that he wasn’t so bad after all,” said John, smiling fondly. “Once I made up my mind to become a pilot and he realized I wouldn’t be talked out of it, he did everything he could to help.”
John hesitated then asked, “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t met?”
Rodney gave a clipped laughed, “Well, I’m pretty sure I’d be dead. You on the other hand would probably be some Army dog, hating every minute of your miserable existence.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” pouted John, then he smiled wickedly, “I should point out that based on your predictions, I did more for you than you did for me.”
“Yes well, it’s not all that difficult to do better than dead,” sniped Rodney, giving John his best you-are-a-moron look.
John countered, “Good point.”
Epilogue
Standing on the balcony, overlooking a moonlit ocean, John enjoyed a moment of peace after their first week on Atlantis. Amazing new discoveries, harrowing moments of near death and waking the scourge of the Pegasus galaxy were just the highlights. The party went on inside and had boosted the morale of the crew, but John couldn’t wait to get away from the sympathetic well wishers. He’d signed on as a soldier, but with the death of Colonel Sumner, he suddenly found himself as military commander by virtue of seniority. It wasn’t at all what he expected when he’d agreed to join the expedition.
Rodney had been ecstatic when he finally made the decision to join and spent their final week on Earth filling him in on anything and everything about the Stargate program. Ironically, as hesitant as he’d been to join such an important mission and now being thrust into role of leader, John wouldn’t have traded the last few weeks for the world. He’d found his best friend and everything paled compared to that.
They hadn’t had much time together since arriving but John managed to spend some of the time observing McKay in action. While others bitched and moaned about the arrogant and often times verbose scientist, made unflattering remarks about his eating habits or people skills, John could smile. He remembered too well the quiet and withdrawn 14-year-old, the half starved kid just barely hanging on by a thread.
He remembered when the thread had broken, leaving behind a shattered kid with no hope. When those on the expedition questioned his friendship with the scientist, John let it roll off him. He knew all the reasons why Dr. Rodney McKay was the way he was and John’s heart would swell with pride for the 14-year-old boy that had found a way back. Sometimes he would try to envision the expedition without McKay and he couldn’t.
Taking a breath of ocean air, John’s thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.
“Hey.”
John didn’t turn, instead he waited for Rodney to join him at the rail, knowing he would. Rodney stood beside him, shoulder to shoulder and John was comforted by the closeness.
“Why aren’t you at the party?” asked Rodney.
“Didn’t feel like celebrating,” shrugged John, his gaze still forward.
Rodney didn’t try to offer any sympathetic platitudes for which John was grateful. He gladly changed the subject. “Dr. Weir wants me to pick members for my offworld team. I thought Ford and Teyla.”
“She’s hot,” said Rodney, his eyes wide with lust as he spoke.
John laughed, “I thought you were gay.”
“Bi actually. I’m a firm believer in equal opportunity sex,” countered Rodney.
“Hedging your bet?” John joked, nudging Rodney.
“Something like that.” Rodney admitted reluctantly, “I need all the help I can get.”
“You want to be on my team?”
Rodney turned his head sharply towards him, shocked, “Huh?”
“My team. I need a fourth.”
“And you want me? I’m a scientist, not a soldier.”
“As you so often point out, you are also the smartest man in two galaxies. I’d be stupid not to take advantage of that.”
“I can’t shoot a gun.”
“I can teach you.”
“You’d do that?”
“Sure, what are friends for.”
“Um…okay then,” said Rodney. John turned to look at him as he gazed at the water below. Seeing the smile on Rodney’s face, he knew he’d made the right decision.
THE END
For anyone that wanted a slashier ending, maybe this vid will solve that. I heard this song and I thought it went very nicely with this story and gave it a slashier ending if you will. At Last vid
At Last vid Has spoilers thru Grace Under Pressure
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If you can't and it will make it easier you could just email it to me the file is small enough..
*hugs*
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*gives you round of applause*
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